gretings

[tinasattler]

gretings to you all im glad to meet you blesings frum the house of heling

[Kamuka]

Greetings fare maiden of the elven forest.

[JBond]

Greetings

[rObix]

elven? elven chicks are cute.

[Frizzo the Clown]

midget chicks are cuter, but thats a different story......

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>midget chicks are cuter, but thats a different story......</STRONG>

-that we don't want to hear!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

-that we don't want to hear!</STRONG>

Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>

Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me!</STRONG>

In the back of the downtown video store?

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

In the back of the downtown video store?</STRONG>

Thats right! But you have to be 18, and have a proper ID!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>

Thats right! But you have to be 18, and have a proper ID!</STRONG>

They didn't accept your National Geographic membership card, huh?

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

They didn't accept your National Geographic membership card, huh?</STRONG>
No. Man, I only got the damn thing becuase I liked all of the topless tribal women in the magazine!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>
No. Man, I only got the damn thing becuase I liked all of the topless tribal women in the magazine!</STRONG>

Ah, then you will like page 67 on the August 2001 issue! Naked shots of the rarely seen Midget Forest Tribe!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

Ah, then you will like page 67 on the August 2001 issue! Naked shots of the rarely seen Midget Forest Tribe!</STRONG>Like it? I ruined it! ;)

[JBond]

Ah, then you should get a subscription to "Big Racks, Small Feet"

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>Ah, then you should get a subscription to "Big Racks, Small Feet"</STRONG>

Actually, I already have a subscription. They printed one of my letters in the May issue! Its about time! I've only written about 75 of them!

[JBond]

Ah yes, I read that one!...I guess you didn't see the small text at the bottom? They said that they still have all 77 letters that you sent them and asked for your permission to make a book out of them. They said that stuff that sick and deranged should sell many copiies. I have one pre-ordered already!

[ 10-11-2001: Message edited by: JBond ]

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>Ah yes, I read that one!...I guess you didn't see the small text at the bottom? They said that they still have all 77 letters that you sent them and asked for your permission to make a book out of them. They said that stuff that sick and deranged should sell many copiies. I have one pre-ordered already!

[ 10-11-2001: Message edited by: JBond ]</STRONG>Who's more sick and deranged, the guy that writes that stuff, or the guy that buys it?

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>Who's more sick and deranged, the guy that writes that stuff, or the guy that buys it?</STRONG>

Well...I got a sneek preview of this book.....and I'd say you have the sellers and the buyers all beat!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

Well...I got a sneek preview of this book.....and I'd say you have the sellers and the buyers all beat!</STRONG>
So, it might be bestseller material? Boy I hope so! I wanna be a bestselling author! I can see it now...Stephen King, Mankind, Frizzo the Clown! Its about time I get some recognition!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>Its about time I get some recognition!</STRONG>

Yeah, I hear Fox wants to make a relity TV show about it. Real people, acting out the..."actions" described in your letters. They're going to call it:

Frizzo's Sick Ass Fantasies with Midgets...Survivor!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

Yeah, I hear Fox wants to make a relity TV show about it. Real people, acting out the..."actions" described in your letters. They're going to call it:

Frizzo's Sick Ass Fantasies with Midgets...Survivor!</STRONG>Well, most of the letters I wrote were just based on stories that you told me....man, I didn't think most of that stuff was legal in this state!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>Well, most of the letters I wrote were just based on stories that you told me....man, I didn't think most of that stuff was legal in this state!</STRONG>

You're acting like you were surprised to read that stuff? Don't you remeber filming those things? You were IN a few of them!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

You're acting like you were surprised to read that stuff? Don't you remeber filming those things? You were IN a few of them!</STRONG>
Oh yeah, those were the days! Hell, I think theres a couple copies of those movies in the back room of the video store!
:eek:

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>
Oh yeah, those were the days! Hell, I think theres a couple copies of those movies in the back room of the video store!
:eek:</STRONG>

Yep, I noticed they cost a little more too! They have to charge it because of the risk, if the FBI find those tapes...that store will cease to exist...

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

Yep, I noticed they cost a little more too! They have to charge it because of the risk, if the FBI find those tapes...that store will cease to exist...</STRONG>
I used to sell them on-line, until a couple of kids wandered onto my site...I almost went to prison!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>
I used to sell them on-line, until a couple of kids wandered onto my site...I almost went to prison!</STRONG>

I TOLD them to stay off daddy's computer!! :mad:

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

I TOLD them to stay off daddy's computer!! :mad:</STRONG>Just because you make them call you "Daddy" doesn't technically make you their father!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>Just because you make them call you "Daddy" doesn't technically make you their father!</STRONG>

Hey!! They'll be 18 in two years!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

Hey!! They'll be 18 in two years!</STRONG>

Yeah? And how old will they be when you get out of prison?

[JBond]

18! :D

They're throwing me a party!! No clothes allowed :cool:

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>18! :D

They're throwing me a party!! No clothes allowed :cool:</STRONG>Well, its a good thing I'm already naked!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>Well, its a good thing I'm already naked!</STRONG>

Damnit, first of all, you're not at the "No Clothes Party" yet. And second of all, put some clothes on, you're destracting the pastor.

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

Damnit, first of all, you're not at the "No Clothes Party" yet. And second of all, put some clothes on, you're destracting the pastor.</STRONG>
Sorry! I just get so excited when I hear "party!" Hold on a sec...

Whats that? Why don't I have any clothes on, Pastor? No, I don't want to play "Priest and Alter-boy." I've said a vow of poverty so, I've given up all my clothes!

Pheww...that was close!

[JBond]

Well actually, he's on his way over...he looks oddly excited!

I'd run...now!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>Well actually, he's on his way over...he looks oddly excited!

I'd run...now!</STRONG>
Lets get out of here before he whips out his "crucifix"!

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>
Lets get out of here before he whips out his "crucifix"!</STRONG>

Ok, but hold on.

&lt;Grabs the August issue of "Big Racks, Small Shoes". They run out but hey run into someone else even more scary than a horny pastor!&gt;

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

Ok, but hold on.

&lt;Grabs the August issue of "Big Racks, Small Shoes". They run out but hey run into someone else even more scary than a horny pastor!&gt;</STRONG>Crap! Its the Feds! They must've found the tapes!

Agent: "Mr. Bond, Mr. the Clown, we'd like you to come with us..."

[JBond]

JBond: Um, look out behind you! A...hot air balloon!
Agent Fred: HA! Right! Arrest them Lenny!
Agent Lenny: You got it!

&lt;Just them the basket of a hot air balloon hits Lenny in the back of the head and Frizzo squirts Agent Fred with water&gt;

Agent Fred: AHHHHH!! MY EYES!!!!!!

&lt;I'm sorry, I meant Sulfuric Acid, Frizzo and Bond run down the street&gt;

[Superman]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>I have one pre-ordered already!
[ 10-11-2001: Message edited by: JBond ]</STRONG>

Only one!? F--k I pre-ordered a couple of boxes to give out to people for Christmas.

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by Superman:
<STRONG>

Only one!? F--k I pre-ordered a couple of boxes to give out to people for Christmas.</STRONG>
Want me to autograph those for you?

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>JBond: Um, look out behind you! A...hot air balloon!
Agent Fred: HA! Right! Arrest them Lenny!
Agent Lenny: You got it!

&lt;Just them the basket of a hot air balloon hits Lenny in the back of the head and Frizzo squirts Agent Fred with water&gt;

Agent Fred: AHHHHH!! MY EYES!!!!!!

&lt;I'm sorry, I meant Sulfuric Acid, Frizzo and Bond run down the street&gt;</STRONG>
Frizzo: "Follow me, I got some friends around here. We can hide out there!"

[JBond]

&lt;JBond follows Frizzo while steping on his heels. they arrive to an apartment&gt;

*Knock Knock*

Superman: Hey Frizzo, what's going on?
Frizzo: It's those damn Feds again, can we hang out here for a while?
Superman: Feds huh, they found your "pharmacy" in your basement, huh!
Frizzo: Um...don't know what you mean?
Superman: Sure, you guys can stay here a while.

&lt;they walk in and close the door&gt;

JBond: So Frizzo, can I have some of the..."pot"? AHH, I mean some "medicine"

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>&lt;JBond follows Frizzo while steping on his heels. they arrive to an apartment&gt;

*Knock Knock*

Superman: Hey Frizzo, what's going on?
Frizzo: It's those damn Feds again, can we hang out here for a while?
Superman: Feds huh, they found your "pharmacy" in your basement, huh!
Frizzo: Um...don't know what you mean?
Superman: Sure, you guys can stay here a while.

&lt;they walk in and close the door&gt;

JBond: So Frizzo, can I have some of the..."pot"? AHH, I mean some "medicine"</STRONG>


Frizzo: "We have no time for that now!"

*two minutes pass*

Frizzo: "Okay, I'm bored. Lets light up!"
JBond: "I'll go get 'Billy Bong Thornton'!"
Superman: "No man, use 'Wesley Pipes'."

[JBond]

"Magic Carpet Ride" starts to play in the background

JBond: Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh....I don't feel anything.
Frizzo: That's because your sucking on the garden hose.

*Knock knock knock*

Superman: Uh oh....my women aren't suppose to be her for another two hours.....Frizzo, you should answer it!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Frizzo: *laughing uncontrollably* "Okay, I'll get it!"

*Frizzo opens the door. Its a pizza boy*

Frizzo: "Hey, we didn't order a pizza!"

Pizza Boy: "Yeah, I know, but we saw the smoke coming out of the windows from a mile away....we figured you'd be getting the munchies about now"

Superman: *half-conscious on a bean bag chair* "No anchovies!"

Frizzo: "So, how much do we owe you?"

Pizza Boy: "$215.37"

Frizzo: "That doesn't sound right to me..." *grabs P.B. by the collar*

P.B.: "Uh...$230?"

Frizzo: "Thats more like it!"

*Frizzo pays the man, grabs the pizza and slams the door*

Frizzo: "That guy tried to rip us off, but I set him straight!"

Superman: "No anchovies!"

[JBond]

JBond: So how much was it...
Frizzo: About 75 dollars....no wait...yeah 72 dollars! I didnt have my money with me, it's in another costume. I just took this wallet on the bookshelf.
Superman: Hey....that was mine...

Frizzo: Chill out, I'll pay you the 86 dollars when I get my alimony.
Jbond: 165 dollars? Don't you mean 134?
Frizzo: 115. 245. What's the difference?.....hey, my rubber nose is on fire....

[Frizzo the Clown]

*Frizzo screams in pain and runs into the bathroom*

JBond: *looking thorough Superman's wallet* "Hey man, whose drivers liscense is this? This guy looks just like you, but he's wearing glasses"
Superman: *snatches liscence from JBond's hand* "Uh, thats my cousin.....Hey! Whats that!"

*JBond looks away and Superman rips up the liscense. They hear a flush and sigh of relief coming from the bathroom. An extinguished and soaked Frizzo emerges from the bathroom*

Frizzo: "Uh, J, I think we should get outta here. I saw the Feds pull up outside."
JBond: "Supes, whats the best way to get out of the building?"
Superman: "Out the window..."

[JBond]

&lt;Frizzo and Bond jump out the window&gt;

Superman: Oh wait that's the way I FLY out!

&lt;JBond and Frizzo fall 5 floors and land into a dumpster&gt;

JBond: I'm going to get him for that!
Frizzo: Hmmm, porn, spandex, porn, hair gel...this must be Superman's trash!
JBond: Nah...Superman would never throw porn away.

&lt;Just then the Fed's run into the alley they were in and chase them to a dead end&gt;

Superman: Hehe, youguys are screwed now!

&lt;Superman goes back to the drugs that Frizzo left there&gt;

[Frizzo the Clown]

Agent Fred: "Looks like we finally caught up to you two."
Agent Lenny: "We need to ask you some 'videos' that you are in possesion of."
Frizzo: "Videos? What Videos?"
JBond: *aside to Frizzo* "Relax..I'll handle this..." *to Agents* "I know what videos you're talking about. Blockbuster is lying! I turned that movie in two weeks ago! I'm not paying that late fee! They can kiss my ass! Actually...uh he has them!" *points to Frizzo*
Frizzo: "I thought you were going to handle this!"
JBond: "I am handling this...its called 'saving my own ass'!"

[JBond]

Agent Fred: Heh, this isn't about the Blockbuster late fee, althogh we ARE watching you on that!...we want partial rights to the mudget porn videos.
Frizzo: Please don't kill-....what?!
Agent Lenny: We know a good business when we see one, and we want to get 40% of the procedes.
JBond: 39%!!
Agent Fred: Agreed
Frizo: ...39? Are you HIGH!?!...nevermind
Agent Fred: Good day gentlemen, and keep those movies coming!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Frizzo: "Well, that turned out much better than I expected."
JBond: "Yeah, thanks to my negotiating skills!"

*Frizzo smacks JBond in the back of the head*

Frizzo: "Looks like we have to start production on another video then. I'll go make some calls and round up the midgets."
JBond: "And I'll go shave my ass! I like to look good for the camera!"

[Superman]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>
Want me to autograph those for you?</STRONG>

Hell yeah! :D :eek:

[Superman]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>Frizzo: *laughing uncontrollably* "Okay, I'll get it!"

*Frizzo opens the door. Its a pizza boy*

Frizzo: "Hey, we didn't order a pizza!"

Pizza Boy: "Yeah, I know, but we saw the smoke coming out of the windows from a mile away....we figured you'd be getting the munchies about now"

Superman: *half-conscious on a bean bag chair* "No anchovies!"

Frizzo: "So, how much do we owe you?"

Pizza Boy: "$215.37"

Frizzo: "That doesn't sound right to me..." *grabs P.B. by the collar*

P.B.: "Uh...$230?"

Frizzo: "Thats more like it!"

*Frizzo pays the man, grabs the pizza and slams the door*

Frizzo: "That guy tried to rip us off, but I set him straight!"

Superman: "No anchovies!"</STRONG>

That was the funny as hell!
:D

[Superman]

Superman: &lt;Drunk and high yeling from the window&gt; Hey you guys wanna come up here to shoot the video in 10 minutes?
JBond: Why 10 minutes?
Superman: Because I'm having sex with the bean bag chair thingy.
Frizzo: Ew, I sat on that...
Superman: Haha! &lt;Belch's and falls out the window and onto JBond's Aston Martin&gt;
JBond: Ah man! I promised the producers I'd keep it in good condition before the next Bond film!
Frizzo: Well the porn money will be enough to pay them back.
JBond: Let's get crackin'!

[JBond]

&lt;Frizzo and Bond walk back in the apartment&gt;

Superman: Heh, feeble humans, have to walk up the stairs!

&lt;Superman flys up to wrong apartment and smacks into a window&gt;

JBond: Damn! Some big ass bird just hit a window!

&lt;There's a knock at the door and JBond answers it&gt;

Superman: Hey....I landed on your car again Bond.

&lt;Then there is another knock at the door&gt;

Superman: Damn, I should get a butler.

[Frizzo the Clown]

*Superman answers the door*

Superman: "Uh, can I help you?"

*behind the door is a very angry looking midget*

Midget: "Is the Clown here?"
Superman: "Uh, yeah.....Frizz, I think its for you!"
Frizzo: "Louie! Its about time you showed up! Where are the others?"
Louie: "They're not coming. We're on strike. You've been screwing us out (pardon the pun) of our money for too long! We want our fair share!"
Frizzo: "Well, how much do you want?"

*JBond steps out of the bathroom, pants around his ankles, razor in hand with shavinig cream all over his ass*
JBond: "You want me to handle this?"
Frizzo and Superman: "NO!"

[Olorin]

Good lord, what is this? :eek: And what is it doing in LOTR?!? :mad:

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
JBond:[/b] "You want me to handle this?"
Frizzo and Superman: "NO!"

How could you...

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

How could you...</STRONG>So you approve?

[Olorin]

Originally posted by Olorin:
<STRONG>Good lord, what is this? :eek: And what is it doing in LOTR?!? :mad:</STRONG>

Ahem... an answer would be nice.

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by Olorin:
<STRONG>

Ahem... an answer would be nice.</STRONG>

Uh....false?

[JBond]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>

Uh....false?</STRONG>

Thirteen?

[Olorin]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<STRONG>

Uh....false?</STRONG>

Wrong! *Slaps Frizzo*

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>

Thirteen?</STRONG>

Correct!

[Frizzo the Clown]

This was just too damn funny to let die. Jibbs and I completely took over this topic...I think its some of the funniest stuff I've ever written.


and I moved it to community, because its got nothing to do with LOTR anymore. Not that anyone cares.

[Undome-Elenamin]

Wow, is thread hijacking encouraged here?! I don't think there's a single thread here at CS that's stayed on topic the whole time.

[Frizzo the Clown]

Well, if its jacked by me, and its this funny...then yes...its encouraged. ;)

[JBond]

Oh man, I was such an idiot. ;)

[Frizzo the Clown]

Yes..you were. But I thought this was some funny stuff. ;) I remember sitting in the computer lab between classes and laughing out loud typing this. ;) It was stuff like this that was the cause of me flunking out of college that semester. ;)

[Tornado]

:funny: LOL, damn this stuff was great guys. :funny:

[Frizzo the Clown]

See? I used to be funny. ;)

[Tornado]

Yeah, when did you lose it? ;)

[Frizzo the Clown]

I have no idea...but at least now there is proof that I had it at one time. ;)

[Tornado]

Yeah, true, but, proof isn't worth much when what you're proving is based only on an opinion and not a fact. ;)

[Frizzo the Clown]

Oh..its a fact. I've won awards for being the funniest poster....have you. ;)

[Tornado]

Considering that I haven't been here as long as you have, I'll answer that with "Not Yet". ;)

[Frizzo the Clown]

Oh...I'll make sure you're banned before that ever happens. ;)

[Tornado]

Hehehehe, you could try, but, then you wouldn't have anyone to play off of. ;)

[Tornado]

BTW, if I were to change my custom title to "The Powerless Mod" would I get told to change it?

[Tony Montana]

If you have enough squirels and goats to pay for it... you might have a chance.

[Tornado]

Meh, it's probably not allowed but, we'll see what Frizzo says. If he says no, I won't really care.

*takes out his walkie talkie*

Blue Eagle? Get ready to strike the Clown's house in 0400 hours. Over and out.

*puts walkie talkie back in coat pocket*

Yes, I won't care at all.

[Tony Montana]

Oh, before you do it, please bring back my pink whip and collar I lent him couple of months ago.

[Tornado]

No prob TM, can do.

*pulls out the wt*

Blue Eagle, new request, after the Clown goes down, pick up the pink whip and collar. He's probably wearing the collar, and the whip can't be too far away. Over and out.

*puts the wt away*

No prob mate. ;)

[Tony Montana]

But watch out for midget launcher! Very devastating when start humping your legs!!!

[Tornado]

Yes, we learned that the hard way the last time we infiltrated his house. I still wonder if that bruise will ever heal...

[Tony Montana]

Yeah... I miss that good old times... :p

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by Tornado
BTW, if I were to change my custom title to "The Powerless Mod" would I get told to change it? Eh...I don't see it as a problem..someone else might, but I don't see the harm. As long as you don't go around telling people your a mod, then I don't think there is any harm. ;)

[Tornado]

Good old times of what? Getting humped by midgets?

*shudders*

:p

[Tornado]

Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown
Eh...I don't see it as a problem..someone else might, but I don't see the harm. As long as you don't go around telling people your a mod, then I don't think there is any harm. ;)

OK cool, it's not like I'd flaunt the fact that I'm not a mod or anything. ;)

[Tony Montana]

Originally posted by Tornado
Good old times of what? Getting humped by midgets?

*shudders*

:p

Oh come on!! Dont tell me you didnt like that warm feeling!!

[Tornado]

Originally posted by Tony Montana
Oh come on!! Dont tell me you didnt like that warm feeling!!

Warm? Mine was ice cold!

Maybe it was just a block of ice that was humping my leg or something..... ;)

[Tony Montana]

Now, but it sucks when your legs get wet while wind blows.

[Tornado]

Yeah, Frizzo had his huge fans blowing as well. Creepy actually....

[Tony Montana]

God, I hate talking to you pervs.

[Tornado]

Hehehehehe, you're just as bad man. :p

[Frizzo the Clown]

There is nothing wrong with being perverted...at least..not in this state.