FilmJerk
03-06-2004, 04:54 PM
MICK: “So where’s your mom?”
JACK: “I don’t know don’t really care either. She’s a hoe.”
MICK: “Is that right?”
JACK: “Yeah. I heard a couple of people say she sucks tube steak.”
MICK: “Yeah. And good too.”
JACK: “What!”
MICK: “Nothing. Nothing….um so where you headed?”
JACK: “Going to Jen’s house. Wanna come or what?”
MICK: “Cool.”
Mick and Jack leave school after hours in detention for ripping off a substitute teachers nipples. Yeah detention for that. Right.
MICK: “Dude did you here about that psycho ***** killer hanging around here where were walking?”
JACK: “What!”
MICK: “Yeah man. This fool goes around ripping off limbs here and there, decapitating heads, gouging out eyes, ripping out….”
JACK: “Alright!...**** man! Why the hell we walking around here then?!”
MICK: “Uh….I don’t know.”
JACK: “I aint never heard this on the news. Man whatever lets just get the hell outta here before we become some psycho mutha’s chop steak.”
They both walk around a corner and into a dark alley. Shadows a strange homeless mofo’s are hanging around smoking weed. Looking scary and ****.
JACK: “Hold up. How the **** we end up in this alley?! Look at these dudes. Look like they got arachnophobia or some ****.”
MICK: “Whats that?”
JACK: “I don’t know. A disease aint it. Whatever how the hell did we get here?”
MICK: “Don’t know.”
JACK: “Your just a brainless good for nothing ****tard aint you? Lets get the hell out of here.”
As they head back, a smelly homeless man comes up to them.
HOMELESS: “Hey, can you give me some change?”
JACK: “Mother *****!! Scared the **** out of me. No I aint got no change man. Get out of here. And take a bath you smell like ****.”
HOMELESS: “Where do you live kid?”
JACK: “What!?”
MICK: “5436 Crestview.”
Jack turns and slaps Mick across the head.
MICK: “What!?”
JACK: “What the hell is wrong with you? You stupid? Hey you come to my house and I whoop your ass.”
Jack grabs Mick and they both leave the alley. They head down the street to Jen’s house.
JACK: “Hope she’s home. I gotta take a ****.”
MICK: “Think her mom is there? I want to make some sweet love to her.”
JACK: “What!? Man what you mean? She’s like 60 years old.”
MICK: “Ahhh yeah. Hmmmm.”
JACK: “You nasty.”
They get up to the front door and knock. No answer. They knock a few more times. Still no answer.
JACK: “She must be a at work.”
MICK: “See if the door’s open.”
Jack tries the door and it opens. They both go inside slowly.
JACK: “Heeeello. Jen?”
They head into the kitchen and the stove is on. Something is cooking.
JACK: “Ah man. What the hell is that smell? Smells like ****.”
Mick opens the pot and sees two large chunks of crap boiling.
MICK: “Yup. Its ****.”
Mick grabs a spoon and cuts a piece off. He eats it.
MICK: “Hmmm hmmmm hmmmm. That’s good.”
JACK: “Ah you nasty mother ****er. I don’t know how the hell we became friends.”
They both go to the living room and turn on the TV. Porn is on.
JACK: “Holy shizz. I didn’t even know my girl was into this ****.”
MICK: “I did. Mmmmhmm.”
JACK: “Dude.”
MICK: “I gotta take a dump.”
WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND ADULT SITUATIONS
VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED
Mick heads to the bathroom and opens the door.
MICK: “Holy ****ing **** dude!!!”
As he enters the door Jen is hanging from the ceiling. Her butt is torn apart. Her butthole is the size of a watermelon. Jack gets up quickly and rushes to the bathroom.
JACK: “What the ****!!! Oh my God!!!”
Jack slowly walks to her and turns her body.
JACK: “Ahhhhhhh!!”
As he turns her body her mouth and jaw are totally ripped wide as if something huge was stuck in her mouth.
MICK: “What the **** dude. Look at her *******! It’s the size of my fist dude!”
JACK: “Uuuumm….ok…..uhhh….we…we…gotta call the cops or something.”
Jack heads for the phone in the kitchen. As he nears, the house suddenly starts to shake as if a earthquake is hitting. He grabs the counter to hold on.
JACK: “Mick!!”
MICK: “What the hell is going on!”
As Jack tries to get to Mick, the ceiling begins to crack and break. He looks up just in time to see the roof completely fly off. A huge light comes from the sky and shines all around the house.
JACK: “Holy mother.”
A giant sized spaceship hovers over the house. AND ITS IN THE SHAPE OF A HUGE PECKER!!! Jack stares in awe as the giant wiener floats over the house.
JACK: “Mick!! Mick!!”
Jack heads towards Mick as he is looking up too. As he nears Mick turns around.
JACK: “What the hell.”
Micks face has peeled off to reveal a skin like form. His body begins to peel. Jack stares in awe as this is happening. Finally Mick’s true identity is revealed. He is an alien. An alien that looks like a huge pecker as well.
JACK: “Holy **** dude! You’re a huge wee-wee!”
Jack turns around to run, but a light from the spaceship shines upon him and freezes him. The now alien Mick slowly bounces towards Jack on its huge go-nads.
JACK: “Get away from me!”
It stands right in front of Jack. Suddenly a white cream like substance spurts out from its head. It lands on Jacks arm. It begins to burn Jack’s arm.
JACK: “Ahhhhhh! Acid jizz!! Its burns!”
The huge wiener begins to laugh. Jack looks at it frighteningly.
JACK: “Wha….what are you gonna do to me?”
The wiener tilts its head towards Jack.
ALIEN: “We are going to take you away to our planet. We will use you and many others we have taken for experiments. You don’t want to know what. Gagagagagagagaga!!!”
JACK: “You’re the one who has done all them killings aren’t you?”
ALIEN: “Maybe. Gagagagagagagaga!”
Suddenly Jack begins to vibrate and starts floating up towards the ship.
JACK: “Ahhhhhh! Some body help me!!!”
As he is floating up he looks down to see the huge dong coming behind him. The alien comes up next to him.
ALIEN: “Ever had to grab your ankles? Gagagagagagagagaga!!!!”
JACK: “Nooooooooooooo!!”
Jack enters the spaceship as the spaceship zooms off into the unknown.
JACK: “I don’t know don’t really care either. She’s a hoe.”
MICK: “Is that right?”
JACK: “Yeah. I heard a couple of people say she sucks tube steak.”
MICK: “Yeah. And good too.”
JACK: “What!”
MICK: “Nothing. Nothing….um so where you headed?”
JACK: “Going to Jen’s house. Wanna come or what?”
MICK: “Cool.”
Mick and Jack leave school after hours in detention for ripping off a substitute teachers nipples. Yeah detention for that. Right.
MICK: “Dude did you here about that psycho ***** killer hanging around here where were walking?”
JACK: “What!”
MICK: “Yeah man. This fool goes around ripping off limbs here and there, decapitating heads, gouging out eyes, ripping out….”
JACK: “Alright!...**** man! Why the hell we walking around here then?!”
MICK: “Uh….I don’t know.”
JACK: “I aint never heard this on the news. Man whatever lets just get the hell outta here before we become some psycho mutha’s chop steak.”
They both walk around a corner and into a dark alley. Shadows a strange homeless mofo’s are hanging around smoking weed. Looking scary and ****.
JACK: “Hold up. How the **** we end up in this alley?! Look at these dudes. Look like they got arachnophobia or some ****.”
MICK: “Whats that?”
JACK: “I don’t know. A disease aint it. Whatever how the hell did we get here?”
MICK: “Don’t know.”
JACK: “Your just a brainless good for nothing ****tard aint you? Lets get the hell out of here.”
As they head back, a smelly homeless man comes up to them.
HOMELESS: “Hey, can you give me some change?”
JACK: “Mother *****!! Scared the **** out of me. No I aint got no change man. Get out of here. And take a bath you smell like ****.”
HOMELESS: “Where do you live kid?”
JACK: “What!?”
MICK: “5436 Crestview.”
Jack turns and slaps Mick across the head.
MICK: “What!?”
JACK: “What the hell is wrong with you? You stupid? Hey you come to my house and I whoop your ass.”
Jack grabs Mick and they both leave the alley. They head down the street to Jen’s house.
JACK: “Hope she’s home. I gotta take a ****.”
MICK: “Think her mom is there? I want to make some sweet love to her.”
JACK: “What!? Man what you mean? She’s like 60 years old.”
MICK: “Ahhh yeah. Hmmmm.”
JACK: “You nasty.”
They get up to the front door and knock. No answer. They knock a few more times. Still no answer.
JACK: “She must be a at work.”
MICK: “See if the door’s open.”
Jack tries the door and it opens. They both go inside slowly.
JACK: “Heeeello. Jen?”
They head into the kitchen and the stove is on. Something is cooking.
JACK: “Ah man. What the hell is that smell? Smells like ****.”
Mick opens the pot and sees two large chunks of crap boiling.
MICK: “Yup. Its ****.”
Mick grabs a spoon and cuts a piece off. He eats it.
MICK: “Hmmm hmmmm hmmmm. That’s good.”
JACK: “Ah you nasty mother ****er. I don’t know how the hell we became friends.”
They both go to the living room and turn on the TV. Porn is on.
JACK: “Holy shizz. I didn’t even know my girl was into this ****.”
MICK: “I did. Mmmmhmm.”
JACK: “Dude.”
MICK: “I gotta take a dump.”
WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND ADULT SITUATIONS
VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED
Mick heads to the bathroom and opens the door.
MICK: “Holy ****ing **** dude!!!”
As he enters the door Jen is hanging from the ceiling. Her butt is torn apart. Her butthole is the size of a watermelon. Jack gets up quickly and rushes to the bathroom.
JACK: “What the ****!!! Oh my God!!!”
Jack slowly walks to her and turns her body.
JACK: “Ahhhhhhh!!”
As he turns her body her mouth and jaw are totally ripped wide as if something huge was stuck in her mouth.
MICK: “What the **** dude. Look at her *******! It’s the size of my fist dude!”
JACK: “Uuuumm….ok…..uhhh….we…we…gotta call the cops or something.”
Jack heads for the phone in the kitchen. As he nears, the house suddenly starts to shake as if a earthquake is hitting. He grabs the counter to hold on.
JACK: “Mick!!”
MICK: “What the hell is going on!”
As Jack tries to get to Mick, the ceiling begins to crack and break. He looks up just in time to see the roof completely fly off. A huge light comes from the sky and shines all around the house.
JACK: “Holy mother.”
A giant sized spaceship hovers over the house. AND ITS IN THE SHAPE OF A HUGE PECKER!!! Jack stares in awe as the giant wiener floats over the house.
JACK: “Mick!! Mick!!”
Jack heads towards Mick as he is looking up too. As he nears Mick turns around.
JACK: “What the hell.”
Micks face has peeled off to reveal a skin like form. His body begins to peel. Jack stares in awe as this is happening. Finally Mick’s true identity is revealed. He is an alien. An alien that looks like a huge pecker as well.
JACK: “Holy **** dude! You’re a huge wee-wee!”
Jack turns around to run, but a light from the spaceship shines upon him and freezes him. The now alien Mick slowly bounces towards Jack on its huge go-nads.
JACK: “Get away from me!”
It stands right in front of Jack. Suddenly a white cream like substance spurts out from its head. It lands on Jacks arm. It begins to burn Jack’s arm.
JACK: “Ahhhhhh! Acid jizz!! Its burns!”
The huge wiener begins to laugh. Jack looks at it frighteningly.
JACK: “Wha….what are you gonna do to me?”
The wiener tilts its head towards Jack.
ALIEN: “We are going to take you away to our planet. We will use you and many others we have taken for experiments. You don’t want to know what. Gagagagagagagaga!!!”
JACK: “You’re the one who has done all them killings aren’t you?”
ALIEN: “Maybe. Gagagagagagagaga!”
Suddenly Jack begins to vibrate and starts floating up towards the ship.
JACK: “Ahhhhhh! Some body help me!!!”
As he is floating up he looks down to see the huge dong coming behind him. The alien comes up next to him.
ALIEN: “Ever had to grab your ankles? Gagagagagagagagaga!!!!”
JACK: “Nooooooooooooo!!”
Jack enters the spaceship as the spaceship zooms off into the unknown.