Pizza and Hookers Club

[Con-Air]

Delete it all you damn want, you can't stop me from posting number 1000 in my Pizza and Hookers Club!!!

[JBond]

You DID get Pepperoni....right?

[Con-Air]

The Hookers come in all sorts of flavors.

Now let's get this party started!!!

(jumps on table and pours beer on himself)

[JBond]

Uh, that's gasoline <JBond remembers gasoline scene in Zoolander and starts to laugh>

[Frizzo the Clown]

Gasoline? Now this is a party! *pulls out a zippo and a can of hair spray* Everybody stand back!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>Gasoline? Now this is a party! *pulls out a zippo and a can of hair spray* Everybody stand back!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Can't we end one night without acting out Morrison's "Light My Fire." :rolleyes:

[Agent_87]

&lt;...They Here THE END, by the DOORS begin to play.&gt;


...I guess not! ...wait?! ...oh, oh!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>&lt;...They Here THE END, by the DOORS begin to play.&gt;


...I guess not! ...wait?! ...oh, oh!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Good thing it wasn't "Break on Through."

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

Can't we end one night without acting out Morrison's "Light My Fire." :rolleyes: </strong><hr></blockquote>

Yeah that crazy pyro Frizzo...where'd we go?

Con Air: Hey Superman, isn't that YOUR car across the street burning?

[Godzilla]

Welcome back, Pizza & Hookers!

[Con-Air]

Ahhhh..... home. Time to go nuts.

(punches JBond across the face)

Ahhh...... I'm home!

[JBond]

Con Air: Heh heh, that was fun!

&lt;JBond comes from behind Con Air slowly carring a bat&gt;

[beemanbone]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>(punches JBond across the face)</strong><hr></blockquote>
kick his ass, seabass!

[Con-Air]

JBond: This will learn 'em

(Con-Air swings around and.... gets hit in the face with a bat)

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>JBond: This will learn 'em

(Con-Air swings around and.... gets hit in the face with a bat)</strong><hr></blockquote>

Now that's just plain silly...I would NEVER use such poor grammar!

[ 10-23-2001: Message edited by: JBond ]</p>

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>

Now that's just plain silly...I would NEVER use such poor grammar!

[ 10-23-2001: Message edited by: JBond ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Then why did you have to edit your message?

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>

Then why did you have to edit your message?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Spelling :D

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>

Spelling :D </strong><hr></blockquote>

Hahahaha

[Movie_Guyde]

Con-Air, U on ICQ or do u have AIM

[Con-Air]

My ICQ is screwing up and it won't let me send out messages. I don't have AIM though

[Movie_Guyde]

u got Yahoo, Msnm, or u can get AIM with any e-mail address.

[beemanbone]

:D

[Con-Air]

hmmm.... this is getting creepy

[beemanbone]

VERY

[Movie_Guyde]

will u get AIM plz?

[Con-Air]

I'll get back to you on that one

[beemanbone]

Aww. C'mon Con-Air. Be a nice guy and dload it, so you two can chat.

[cafeman]

I will not participate in this topic on account of it being too silly.

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by cafeman:
<strong>I will not participate in this topic on account of it being too silly.</strong><hr></blockquote>

No Pizza and Hookers for you.

[beemanbone]

No soup for you!!!

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by beemanbone:
<strong>Aww. C'mon Con-Air. Be a nice guy and dload it, so you two can chat.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Don't you start

[D-fence]

In a quiet little corner D-fence tries to explain to warpedchick why he started the fart-forum, but when he puts his nose between his legs to show she empties her glass in his neck and walks away.. :(

[ 10-23-2001: Message edited by: D-fence ]</p>

[beemanbone]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Don't you start</strong><hr></blockquote>
I'm sorry :(

[cafeman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>

No Pizza and Hookers for you.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Awwww, come on, I was just kidding!! can I have some hookers? please please please?

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by cafeman:
<strong>

Awwww, come on, I was just kidding!! can I have some hookers? please please please?</strong><hr></blockquote>

You have to start hanging out at the club more.

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>

You have to start hanging out at the club more.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Oh, so no hookers for me then? I swear, you capitolist dogs will suffer for this outrage!
:mad:

[cafeman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>You have to start hanging out at the club more.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Well, can I have some hookers in advance? Just something to get me through the day.

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Movie_Guyde:
<strong>will u get AIM plz?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Is it me, or is this creepy that he keeps asking for everyone's screen name?

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

Is it me, or is this creepy that he keeps asking for everyone's screen name?</strong><hr></blockquote>

You have no idea...

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>

You have no idea...</strong><hr></blockquote>

Did he IM you?

[Malice]

hey Con-Air, want me to mail you
ICQ, MSNM, AIM, YIM ?

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by mrTECH:
<strong>hey Con-Air, want me to mail you
ICQ, MSNM, AIM, YIM ?</strong><hr></blockquote>

ASAP!

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

ASAP!</strong><hr></blockquote>

AARP!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>

AARP!</strong><hr></blockquote>

GRRR!

[Con-Air]

BYOB

[Superman]

FUC... :D

[JBond]

Society for More Oil and Koal(Coal) Energy

SMOKE

[Superman]

Association of Security Safety

(ASS)

[JBond]

Fantastic Universities of Clark Kent

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>Fantastic Universities of Clark Kent</strong><hr></blockquote>

FUOCK.

[JBond]

Sort of...

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>Sort of...</strong><hr></blockquote>

My bad, it's FUoCK.

[JBond]

There you go

[Con-Air]

That's our Superman

[Olorin]

Industries of Women's Illness Liberation Litigation for Crippled Romanian, Ukranian, Swedish and Hungarian Youthful Organization's Unemployment... :mad:

[ 10-25-2001: Message edited by: Olorin ]</p>

[thebtskink]

That's good Olorin, except the words don't make sense together!!

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by thebtskink:
<strong>That's good Olorin, except the words don't make sense together!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

I meant what I said, fool.
:mad:

[thebtskink]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

I meant what I said, fool.
:mad: </strong><hr></blockquote>

You lied what you heard, poindexter. :D

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by thebtskink:
<strong>

You lied what you heard, poindexter. :D </strong><hr></blockquote>

You kungfu'd what you slapped, poopmonger.
:confused: I don't know either.

[Agent_87]

CHILDREN, stop fighting. You're upsetting the hookers!

&lt;TURNS TO THE HOOKERS, EATING THE PIZZA&gt;

...sorry girls, they'll behave from now on!

&lt;TURNS TO JBOND, AND SUPERMAN&gt;

...do you think next time , you guys could bring some less... robust women!

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>
...do you think next time , you guys could bring some less... robust women!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hey, more cushion for the pushin'!

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>

Hey, more cushion for the pushin'!</strong><hr></blockquote>


:(

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>


:( </strong><hr></blockquote>

I HATE you!!!! :mad: :mad:

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>

I HATE you!!!! :mad: :mad: </strong><hr></blockquote>

Who? *Looks over shoulder* Oh, me. Well, thanks! I feel the same about you! :)

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>

I HATE you!!!! :mad: :mad: </strong><hr></blockquote>

Will the Moneypenny hooker cheer you up?

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>

Will the Moneypenny hooker cheer you up?</strong><hr></blockquote>

I.....NO!! It....I.....yeah, well ok! :D

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>

I.....NO!! It....I.....yeah, well ok! :D </strong><hr></blockquote>

That's a good boy. Now go fire off your other weapon.

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>

That's a good boy. Now go fire off your other weapon.</strong><hr></blockquote>

....my assult rifle? <img src="confused.gif" border="0">

[Con-Air]

your mini-gun

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>your mini-gun</strong><hr></blockquote>

My sniper rifle!

[Con-Air]

your pocket knife

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>your mini-gun</strong><hr></blockquote>

In his case, VERY mini.

[JBond]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

In his case, VERY mini.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Atleast I HAVE a gun!!

[Con-Air]

ZING

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>Atleast I HAVE a gun!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Yeah, but yours fire blanks.
:p

[Con-Air]

At least he doesn't knock up the hookers. I have a room full of superboys and little clowns running around in the back.

[Frizzo the Clown]

Hey, I'll have you know I passed all of those paternity tests! Those chicks got nothin' on me!

[Con-Air]

This is not to mention all of the ugly little monster babies in the cellar.

[beemanbone]

those green bastards

[Con-Air]

It's great running a club, I've got the dish on everybody. Did you know that Dew K. Mosi is one of my best customers? And all of the Hookers are female. Figure that one out.

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>At least he doesn't knock up the hookers. I have a room full of superboys</strong><hr></blockquote>

Spread the love I say, junior #14 can bench press a VW now. Of course he did that while Frizzo was having his way with his midgets, but Uncle Frizz has been mentoring him.

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

Spread the love I say, junior #14 can bench press a VW now. Of course he did that while Frizzo was having his way with his midgets, but Uncle Frizz has been mentoring him.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Geez, can we lay off the midget sex, it's ruining what remains of my innocence!

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

Geez, can we lay off the midget sex, it's ruining what remains of my innocence!</strong><hr></blockquote>As long as I'm around, midget sex will reign supreme!

[Olorin]

:mad:

[bbf2]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

Geez, can we lay off the midget sex, it's ruining what remains of my innocence!</strong><hr></blockquote>

That was Frizzo's intent all along, duh.

[Frizzo the Clown]

Innocence has no place in my prescence!

[tyler_durden]

You know guys, you got to stop breading with the hookers. It's getting crowded in here. Baby Supes #3 just through my car down the block and I have clown boy #6 trying to chew off my leg. I am not coming here anymore if this continues. :mad: :mad: :mad: :D

[Con-Air]

O.K. guys, if you're going to have sex get some protection from the Vend-O-Matic Sexual Edition in the hall. And... wait a minute, someone took my Vend-O-Matic!!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>O.K. guys, if you're going to have sex get some protection from the Vend-O-Matic Sexual Edition in the hall. And... wait a minute, someone took my Vend-O-Matic!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Man I thought the kind of protection you were talking about was like handcuffs so when I float and have sex so the b*tch doesn't fall. :rolleyes: Well Superman junior #9 just said his first sentence: "I'm taller than a midget!"

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>Well Superman junior #9 just said his first sentence: "I'm taller than a midget!"</strong><hr></blockquote>

Wow, this is such a precious time in his life...... :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

Man I thought the kind of protection you were talking about was like handcuffs so when I float and have sex so the b*tch doesn't fall. :rolleyes: Well Superman junior #9 just said his first sentence: "I'm taller than a midget!"</strong><hr></blockquote>Awww...and listen, Lil' Frizz #3 is playing pimp. He just said "Where's my money, b*tch!" How sweet!

[Con-Air]

Uh-Oh, that's not all they just did for the first time.

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Uh-Oh, that's not all they just did for the first time.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Don't worry, they'll let go of that fern soon enough.

[Frizzo the Clown]

We'd better get out the hose!!

[Thoth]

And someone protect the hookers! Superman Jrs. #4, #12 and #22 have a few of them cornered preparing for Super-Sandwich!

Uh..oh no...someone stop me...it's a HERO SANDWICH...

..Oh dear god why didn't anyone stop me...

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Thoth:
<strong>And someone protect the hookers! Superman Jrs. #4, #12 and #22 have a few of them cornered preparing for Super-Sandwich!

Uh..oh no...someone stop me...it's a HERO SANDWICH...

..Oh dear god why didn't anyone stop me...</strong><hr></blockquote>
Man, that joke was so bad that wish I had thought of it first!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>We'd better get out the hose!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

And call some back up!

[Con-Air]

This thread is so close to 100 posts that I just can't let it die.

[pixiness]

let me help you....

[quote] originally posted by cafeman:
Well, can I have some hookers in advance? Just something to get me through the day. <hr></blockquote>


me and my friends are still waiting for you to pay up from last time!!!!!!!!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>me and my friends are still waiting for you to pay up from last time!!!!!!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Your "friends" were actually mannequins, believe me, I'm an expert!

[pixiness]

[quote] Originally posted by Superman:
Your "friends" were actually mannequins, believe me, I'm an expert! <hr></blockquote>

I hope you're not including ME in that group. I'd hate to have to show you otherwise. ;)

[Con-Air]

Actually most of the women here are mannequins, but don't let the cat out of the bag.

[Ripley]

Are we just????

Well how r we all in this little club??

Can I join??? PLEASE.............. :) :)

[Con-Air]

Hmmm... well you already have the hooker part down pat, and we do need some new ones now that the midgets have found their way from their vent headquarters into the hookers barracks and dragged them off bloodily via the vents into th. . . I...mean...welcome aboard. Just watch out for Superman, he goes off like a 12 gauge.

[Con-Air]

Well Dooms, your drink is awaiting you. If you don't accept Frizzo will probably drink it.

[Agent_87]

&lt;AGENT 87 STROLLS IN, WITH A CONFUSED LOOK ON HIM FACE&gt;

...Bartender, hit with a double. And introduce me, to that girl with the bubble.


hEY! ...any of you read MAXIM?

[Moe Szyslak]

Moe slides the drink to 87.

"Where do you think I get all of my current events knowledge?"

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Well Dooms, your drink is awaiting you. If you don't accept Frizzo will probably drink it.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Too late *burrrrrrrrrp*

[Agent_87]

You know, before you signed on here moe. I can't even remember what we did without a bartender!?

...oh, wait. No, i thought i had something... but it's gone now!

[pixiness]

Hey Moe, got any of that good sasparilla?

[Con-Air]

Hey Moe, I like your bartending abilities. Your in. You should have seen it when Madness tried to bartend.....

[Agent_87]

...did he get drunk, and start hiting on all of you!? ...or did he just pull his pants down again?

[Con-Air]

Let's just say it involved a midget, Frizzo, a Rammstein cd and the Titanic.

[pixiness]

[quote] Orignally posted by 87: ...did he get drunk, and start hiting on all of you!? ...or did he just pull his pants down again? <hr></blockquote>

Madness pulled his pants down and I missed it?!!!!??? Darn, and me without my chapstick. :p :D

[ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: pixiness ]</p>

[Agent_87]

...Hey, don't we get cable in here? (FLIPPING STATIONS) ...Moe!!!??? i think the televisons broken!

[Moe Szyslak]

I never got cable. I chose the mechanical bull and I stand by my decision.

[pixiness]

Oooh! Can we have a bullriding contest?

[Con-Air]

Mechanical Bull? I never okayed that, it will take business away from the hookers. I'm going to have to get Superman to get Frizzo to take care of it.

[Moe Szyslak]

Well, usually there's a hooker riding the bull naked and eating pizza.

[Agent_87]

she must be upstairs, "entertaining" SUPES'!

...you know, first a bull of steel. Then a "man of steel!!"

(Yo, you owe me own for that SUPERMAN!)

[ 12-01-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</p>

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Just watch out for Superman, he goes off like a 12 gauge.</strong><hr></blockquote>

And ladies, I'm double barreled and always fully loaded. ;)

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>she must be upstairs, "entertaining" SUPES'!

...you know, first a bull of steel. Then a "man of steel!!"

(Yo, you owe me own for that SUPERMAN!)

[ 12-01-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

I never touched that bull! I don't care if the baby bull flies...

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Mechanical Bull? I never okayed that, it will take business away from the hookers. I'm going to have to get Superman to get Frizzo to take care of it.</strong><hr></blockquote>

I'll get my "12 gauge," most everyone here has a "sawed off" so only Frizzo and I can fullfill this task.

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

I'll get my "12 gauge," most everyone here has a "sawed off" so only Frizzo and I can fullfill this task.</strong><hr></blockquote>

That's fine, just no more shooting it up the ass for added damage. I lose customers whenever you do that.

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>That's fine, just no more shooting it up the ass for added damage. I lose customers whenever you do that.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Those women just can't handle someone of my "caliber."

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

Those women just can't handle someone of my "caliber."</strong><hr></blockquote>

I would do the whole Dr. Evil quote right here but I don't know how to spell homynim. Someone else please take it.

[Agent_87]

aLRIGHT, ThaT'S eNOUGH oUTTa yOU! ...yOU dRuNK!

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>aLRIGHT, ThaT'S eNOUGH oUTTa yOU! ...yOU dRuNK!</strong><hr></blockquote>

I keep telling you, I don't have a drinking problem! I can quit at any time.

[bbf2]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>

I keep telling you, I don't have a drinking problem! I can quit at any time.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Okay, let's see. Quit right now.

[Agent_87]

...oh don't rush him. That's how people die!


`

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by bbf2:
<strong>

Okay, let's see. Quit right now.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Now, now...No one likes a quitter..........

[pixiness]

[quote] Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:

I keep telling you, I don't have a drinking problem! I can quit at any time.<hr></blockquote>


I said NO to alcohol once. It didn't listen.

[pixiness]

and a hush fell over the room....

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>and a hush fell over the room....</strong><hr></blockquote>

You know what a hush calls for? That's right! Another drink.

[pixiness]

YEAH! SHOTS!!!!!! Who's In?

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>YEAH! SHOTS!!!!!! Who's In?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Me! I need some before my superhero shift begins.

[Con-Air]

It's times like this I'm glad I moved the bar onto the other side of the club away from the high profile customers.

(Frizzo runs out wearing a sheep)

................damn

[Moe Szyslak]

Hey, I'm not that high profile so you must not be talking about me...I merely get those customers drunk.

&lt;Moe slides Skip and Go Naked to Superman and a Blowjob to pixi ;) &gt;

[Con-Air]

Hey! Save the blowjobs for the paying customers.

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Hey! Save the blowjobs for the paying customers.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Woah, they ain't paying? You're going to pay me for my bartending services, right?

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>It's times like this I'm glad I moved the bar onto the other side of the club away from the high profile customers.

(Frizzo runs out wearing a sheep)

................damn</strong><hr></blockquote>
I was with a girl one night, and she asked me if I was wearing a "sheepskin," and this was the only way I could figure out how to do it...

[Superman]

Frizzo and I are the V.I.P. at Con-Air's club. Dino, tonight, 8pm sharp?

[Frizzo the Clown]

You got it Frank!

[Con-Air]

Boys, welcome back. It's been a while but I have your regular booth in the back with your "regulars" awaiting you. Just remember your proper manners, I don't need another lawsuit. Sure it was funny at the time but I told you crucifying Jedi would hurt us in the long run.

[Agent_87]

BARTENDER!!!!! ...i'm done peddling my nuts around town. Give me a beer!

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>BARTENDER!!!!! ...i'm done peddling my nuts around town. Give me a beer!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Fine, one Labatt's Blue coming right up.

[pixiness]

[quote] Originally posted by Moe:

Woah, they ain't paying? You're going to pay me for my bartending services, right? <hr></blockquote>

If Con-air doesn't pay you, Moe, I'm SURE I could find some way to make good on my tab. ;)

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>

If Con-air doesn't pay you, Moe, I'm SURE I could find some way to make good on my tab. ;) </strong><hr></blockquote>

Ah, the Pizza and Hookers Club, what a great place to work.

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>YEAH! SHOTS!!!!!! Who's In?</strong><hr></blockquote>

I'll take a shot!!!!!!!

But first, BARTENDER!!!!!! I need 5 bottles of 2 Dogs, the Orange stuff as a warm up.....

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by tyler_durden:
<strong>

I'll take a shot!!!!!!!

But first, BARTENDER!!!!!! I need 5 bottles of 2 Dogs, the Orange stuff as a warm up.....</strong><hr></blockquote>

I think you've already had enough Mr. Durden.

[Agent_87]

(taking sips from his BLUE)

...ya know, i heard about this great club uptown. Where you can eat sushi, off naked young women!!!! ..you got anything like that here? ...moe!? ...moe, you got anything like that here?

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>(taking sips from his BLUE)

...ya know, i heard about this great club uptown. Where you can eat sushi, off naked young women!!!! ..you got anything like that here? ...moe!? ...moe, you got anything like that here?</strong><hr></blockquote>
Well, for the right price you can eat pizza off of my bare ass....

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>
Well, for the right price you can eat pizza off of my bare ass....</strong><hr></blockquote>

(Madness eating pizza off Frizzo's ass)

Madness- Hey!! What are these little brown pieces?!?! I didn't order that!!!!

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Madness:
<strong>

(Madness eating pizza off Frizzo's ass)

Madness- Hey!! What are these little brown pieces?!?! I didn't order that!!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Its uh..sausage. Yeah, thats it..sausage.....

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>(taking sips from his BLUE)

...ya know, i heard about this great club uptown. Where you can eat sushi, off naked young women!!!! ..you got anything like that here? ...moe!? ...moe, you got anything like that here?</strong><hr></blockquote>

pixi's shift doesn't start till later...you'll have to make do with Frizzo's ass for now.

[Agent_87]

I think i'll wait for pixi, if you don't mind!

...(looks around the room)

...I'm gonna go!

[Superman]

Dino, when will the midgets be arriving? We must stop the premiere of the new Ocean's 11 film!

[Con-Air]

Need any help?

[Agent_87]

&lt;door opens, 87 enters the bar&gt;

...can i have a beer!?

[Con-Air]

I knew you would be back.

[Moe Szyslak]

Uh, do you want domestic or import?

[Con-Air]

Well I gotta go check on the hooker status. If Frizzo enters tell him Superman already left to destroy Ocean's 11.

(turns on news, as the reporter talks Superman is in the background fighting off cops. He jumps into the cop car and takes off)

Nevermind

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Well I gotta go check on the hooker status. If Frizzo enters tell him Superman already left to destroy Ocean's 11.

(turns on news, as the reporter talks Superman is in the background fighting off cops. He jumps into the cop car and takes off)

Nevermind</strong><hr></blockquote>
Hey guys, sorry I'm late. What did I miss?

[Agent_87]

Another Blue will do, moe.

....and how 'bout some beer nuts?

[Moe Szyslak]

&lt;Moe slides down another Blue and some beer nuts.&gt;

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>
Hey guys, sorry I'm late. What did I miss?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Superman couldn't wait for you so he went to destroy the Ocean's 11 premier. Things went south and now he's cruising around in a stolen cop car.

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>

Superman couldn't wait for you so he went to destroy the Ocean's 11 premier. Things went south and now he's cruising around in a stolen cop car.</strong><hr></blockquote>Stolen cop car? *****! Thats my ride! I gotta go!!

[Agent_87]

&lt;takes Frizzo's chair&gt;

...so!? ...anybody a leaf fan?

[Con-Air]

Mack Daddy just called with a new crop. While I'm gone sampeling the goods I'm leaving the bar in your hands Moe.

[Moe Szyslak]

Alright! I'm in charge here(for the time being) so show some respect. Don't make me break out my Daisy, at 20 pumps it's liable to break your skin.

My first order of business...body shots off of the hookers.

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>Alright! I'm in charge here(for the time being) so show some respect. Don't make me break out my Daisy, at 20 pumps it's liable to break your skin.

My first order of business...body shots off of the hookers.</strong><hr></blockquote>

"He's got a Daisy! 18 more pumps and that thing can break the skin!!" (or something like that!!)

[Agent_87]

You guys wanna hear a joke? ..........okay it goes like this:

A man goes into a bar and orders 12 shots of tequila. The bartender looks on as the guy downs one after another.

As he slams the 10th one, the bartender says, "I don’t think you should be drinking those so fast."

"You would if you had what I have," the man says, throwing back number 11.

"Well, what is it you have?"

The man throws back his last shot and says, "Fifty cents."

[pixiness]

:: Pixi arives late for her shift::

Sorry for the delay, Moe. Now what was this stuff about eating sushi off my bare ass? I'm game just one thing, No utensils.. forks, knives, spoons and chopsticks are strictly forbidden

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>

I think you've already had enough Mr. Durden.</strong><hr></blockquote>

damn bartender are always cutting me off....

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>:: Pixi arives late for her shift::

Sorry for the delay, Moe. Now what was this stuff about eating sushi off my bare ass? I'm game just one thing, No utensils.. forks, knives, spoons and chopsticks are strictly forbidden</strong><hr></blockquote>

Why don't I just skip the food and get righ to the eating your ass......OFF your ass, sorry....geez, that coulda been embarrassing ;) ............

[pixiness]

hmmmmm. tempting offer, but since you had all your teeth sharpened to points, I'm a wee bit hesitant to agree.

Now if you were just licking jello off my tummy....

[Agent_87]

...no, no. We'll have none of that. &lt;Grabs Pixi's hand and leads her to a room down the hall&gt;

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>...no, no. We'll have none of that. &lt;Grabs Pixi's hand and leads her to a room down the hall&gt;</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hey! Where do you think you're going with the employee? Don't make me break out my Daisy.

[Frizzo the Clown]

*Frizzo walks in, wearing a pair of handcuffs with the chain broken*

Hey guys. I think we might need to get some bail money for Superman....they say he's looking at 15 to 20 years. On the bright side, I escaped, and we burned the theatre's copy of "Ocean's 11." How about a celebratory drink?

[Moe Szyslak]

How about a Caucasian?

[pixiness]

[quote] originally posted by that guy behind the bar: Don't make me break out my Daisy. <hr></blockquote>

Yeah, like 18 more pumps and he could put an eye out.

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>How about a Caucasian?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Actually, I was hoping for something a little more jail-themed, in honor of Superman....you got anything like that?

[Moe Szyslak]

Closest thing I have is one called Anal Violation.

3 oz. Canadian Whisky
2 oz. Spiced Rum
8 oz. Citrus Juice

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>Closest thing I have is one called Anal Violation.

3 oz. Canadian Whisky
2 oz. Spiced Rum
8 oz. Citrus Juice</strong><hr></blockquote>
Thats perfect. While I'm drinking an "anal violation," I'm sure Supes is having his violated!! Can you do me a favor and send him a care package with an ice pack, and a case of Preperation H? I'm sure by now he really needs it. They love pretty boys like him in the joint!

[pixiness]

Lets just hope that our favorite man of steel doesn't make any new "friends" in the joint with Pet Gerbils....

[Frizzo the Clown]

pixi! I was starting to wonder what happened to you! Would you like an Anal Violation? Or perhaps you'd just like a drink instead! ;) :D

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Now if you were just licking jello off my tummy....</strong><hr></blockquote>

See, that I can also do.....Mmmm, jello...........

[pixiness]

[quote]originally posted by that clown guy: Would you like an Anal Violation? Or perhaps you'd just like a drink instead! <hr></blockquote>

After that whole flaming gerbil incident with LOTR and his friend, I'm a little scared of anything that uses the words Anal Violation to describe itself.

However, I WOULD very much like something alcoholic. So, if Madness and I can settle on a price for the whole jello thing, I'll just have some jello shots (vodka with the jello flavor of Madness's choice).

Price Lists - Please see our charming and charismatic barkeep.

[Con-Air]

PHEW! Mack Daddy had quite a bit of new recruits for me to sample. I'm kind of tired so I'll be up in my pad.

[Agent_87]

...who's looking after Superman's case?

...Think they'd mind me tagging along? ...i'm a bit of a crime, buff!

[ 12-10-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</p>

[Moe Szyslak]

I'll get pixi's price list up later this evening.

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>However, I WOULD very much like something alcoholic. So, if Madness and I can settle on a price for the whole jello thing, I'll just have some jello shots (vodka with the jello flavor of Madness's choice).
</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hmmm, all this selection....Licking shots off of Pixi, what flavour goes with that??? I think I'll go with sweet cheery ass!! Oh, excuse me, I meant sweet cherry!!...ass. Ugh, hehe, that's a weird little reflex I, 'ASS', can't seem to stop, 'ASS!! SWEET ASS!!', doing that...Ahem, I think, 'TITS'!!, that I'm going, 'ASS&TITS!!', a little crazzzzz, huff huff, a little, 'BREASTS'!!!!, a little craaaaAAAAAAAAZZY!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SEX!! RAMPANT, ANIMALISTIC, UNINHIBITED, VIOLENT SEX!!! PLENTY OF IT, (twitch) CAN'T STOP!!! ARRRRRGGGG!!!
Two big men, in white jackets inject 100 ml of morphine into Madness.

OOooooooooo........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................ ..........thats' good..................

[Darth Prime]

Pizza and hookers? And I thought the students at my school were bad. Wait.....I take that back, the students at my school ARE worse than everybody on this board. I go for the pizza, but I'm not sure about the hookers.

[bbf2]

[quote]Originally posted by Darth Prime:
<strong>Pizza and hookers? And I thought the students at my school were bad. Wait.....I take that back, the students at my school ARE worse than everybody on this board. I go for the pizza, but I'm not sure about the hookers.</strong><hr></blockquote>

The stuff on here is nothing, nothing, NOTHING compared to the stuff people at my school say all the time! (me included!)

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Darth Prime:
<strong>Pizza and hookers?!? I go for the pizza, but I'm not sure about the hookers.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Putting his arm around Darth.

Madness- You sure there ol' Darthy boy, huh?? I mean even Jedi's need to, uh, hehe you know ;) !!

So who do ya like?? The asian one?? She's got a great tongue, yah I'll see you later!! Ha, then of course there's the twins, you know, a bit pricier but you're getting your moneys worth so....

Darth Prime- I-I dunno...My wife she'd...

Madness- Your wife?!? Darth, your wife ain't been givin' it to you in years, and these little hoochies will do things to you that you didn't even know were possible!!! Alright, here, sit down with me for a sec......What do I, Madness, gotta do to put you, Darth, into one of these hookers tonight????

Darth- I-I...just....my wife....

Madness- Darth, take your balls outta your wifes purse, and place them into one of these fine hookers!!!!

Darth- Oh really, this is too much now!!! I love my wife and would never cheat on her!!!

Madness- You right, your right....Tell me, your wife, she, uh, hot?? Huh, like, is she good in bed er what??? Just gimme a ballpark!!! She swallow??................

[Agent_87]

&lt;Agent 87 intrudes...&gt;

"ahhh, how much for the asian girl?"

[ 12-11-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</p>

[Agent_87]

http://www.autobuzz.com/imageupload/2001/md/ab02d218.jpg

[pixiness]

::::runs crying over to Moe::::

87 said he had a thing for Irish girls and he lied to me!

::sobs nearly uncontrollably on Moe's shoulder:::

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>::::runs crying over to Moe::::

87 said he had a thing for Irish girls and he lied to me!

::sobs nearly uncontrollably on Moe's shoulder:::</strong><hr></blockquote>

Don't worry baby, Moe will make it all better.

&lt;Moe brakes out his 5 in 1 gun&gt;

Now, where is that good for nothing son of a b*tch?

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>::::runs crying over to Moe::::

87 said he had a thing for Irish girls and he lied to me!

::sobs nearly uncontrollably on Moe's shoulder:::</strong><hr></blockquote>

Why are you Irish???...

[pixiness]

[quote] Originally posted by Madness:
Why are you Irish???... <hr></blockquote>

I'm Irish because me dear old mummy and daddy are Irish.

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>

I'm Irish because me dear old mummy and daddy are Irish.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hmmmm, hehehe, ok maybe I should've wrote it, "Why? Are you Irish??".

See, I know why yor Irish, that whole descendant thing did, yah I get it. I just didn't know that you were Irish, interesting......

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>

I'm Irish because me dear old mummy and daddy are Irish.</strong><hr></blockquote>

I have some Irish in me...pixi, do you have any in Norwegian in you?

[Moe Szyslak]

pixi's price list:

Body Shots: $10
Eating Jello off of the ass: $20
Eating Jello off of the stomach: $15
Playing name the taste by licking various parts of pixi's body that have been covered in fruit juices: $50
Going to the back room with a bag of pixidust: $120
Going to the back room with a midget: $150
Going to the back room with a manequin: $135

Watching Moe get as many freebies as possible: Priceless

[ 12-11-2001: Message edited by: Moe Szyslak ]</p>

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>

I have some Irish in me...pixi, do you have any in Norwegian in you?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Do you want some??..OHHHHH!!!! Yah, that's always funny..............

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Madness:
<strong>

Do you want some??..OHHHHH!!!! Yah, that's always funny..............</strong><hr></blockquote>

Dammit Madness, I was waiting to use that :mad:

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>

Dammit Madness, I was waiting to use that :mad: </strong><hr></blockquote>

Don't you hate it when people do that??? ;) :p ............

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Madness:
<strong>

Don't you hate it when people do that??? ;) :p ............</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hey, you know what I just realize...I'm only like 60 posts behind you.

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>

Hey, you know what I just realize...I'm only like 60 posts behind you.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Well that's cuz your one of these insane posters that just can't be stopped!!! Come to think of it, I'M an insane poster!! And I can't be stopped either!!!...
Hmmmm, you remind me of me as a young poster. The boards were so full of potential!! Then, I degenerated into the shell of a poster you see before you!! Look away!! I'm hideous!!..........

[pixiness]

nope, no norwegian, I'm 100% Irish, In fact, I wasn't even born in the states.

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>nope, no norwegian, I'm 100% Irish, In fact, I wasn't even born in the states.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Dang it pixi, you wouldn't even let me use my line. ;)

I have a cousin that was conceived in Ireland, that's kind of close.

[Optimus Prime]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>nope, no norwegian, I'm 100% Irish, In fact, I wasn't even born in the states.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Well Lassie, good to know ya.

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>nope, no norwegian, I'm 100% Irish, In fact, I wasn't even born in the states.</strong><hr></blockquote>

I look 100% Irish, but I've got some German and French in me, damn them... We still need to see your pic, by the way. We've seen fractal, and I don't know if we want to see Warpedchick...

[Con-Air]

Con-Air:What's all the racket? I'm trying to sleep..... (looks over at Darth Prime) Is that a new one?

Darth Prime: Oh my God!! What have I done!!! MY WIFE IS GOING TO KILL ME

Con-Air: Haha, another one Madness? And I don't even have my camera with me.

[Agent_87]

[quote] Olorin

I look 100% Irish, but...

<hr></blockquote>

...same here. Everyone, always thinks i'm irish. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I'd be proud to be irish, if i was. But i'm not... i'm CANADIAN and i'm proud of that!


[quote] pixiness

::::runs crying over to Moe::::
87 said he had a thing for Irish girls and he lied to me!

::sobs nearly uncontrollably on Moe's shoulder:::

<hr></blockquote>


...Honey. I still love you. But since you keep selling your services to everyone else, i figured you wouldn't mind me purchasing some new flavour.

[pixiness]

Yeah, but only you and Moe get freebies!!

A girl's gotta make a living doesn't she?

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Yeah, but only you and Moe get freebies!!

A girl's gotta make a living doesn't she?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Wait, I'm not your pimp am I?

[pixiness]

Pimp, never...... One of my favorites.....definitely! :D

[Con-Air]

Pixi, either you start having relations with the customers or your fired. It's as simple as that.

[Superman]

Thanks a lot you bastards, I had to break out of jail by myself. Took me like a week to dig a hole with that spoon...

[Con-Air]

Well at least we sent you a spoon.

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Well at least we sent you a spoon.</strong><hr></blockquote>

A plastic one!

[Con-Air]

We had to fight a homeless man for it.

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>We had to fight a homeless man for it.</strong><hr></blockquote>

That might've been my landlord for my cardboard box.

[Con-Air]

We snuck it in ourselves

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>We snuck it in ourselves</strong><hr></blockquote>

I heard you had to seduce the warden to get it by.

[Frizzo the Clown]

Sorry about forgetting about you and all....but hey, it was my idea sneak in the tube of Preperation H..I figured after a week in jail, you could use a little relief..btw, how's your ass?

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

I heard you had to seduce the warden to get it by.</strong><hr></blockquote>

I also bought the bar a round of Anal Violation's in your honor...so, how was the big house?

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>Sorry about forgetting about you and all....but hey, it was my idea sneak in the tube of Preperation H..I figured after a week in jail, you could use a little relief..btw, how's your ass?</strong><hr></blockquote>

The chastity belt has been working!

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

The chastity belt has been working!</strong><hr></blockquote>
I apologize for saying that thing would never come in handy!

[pixiness]

First of all (and I can't believe no one else thought of this Oh, so obvious reply)

I'm sure Supes' ass is fine. He does after all have Buns of Steel! :rolleyes: :D


[quote] Originally posted by Con-Air:

Pixi, either you start having relations with the customers or your fired. It's as simple as that. <hr></blockquote>

Hey Moe's put up a price list (which I've got some additions to), I've let madness eat Jello off my tummy, offered to ride the mechanical bull with someone, and I danced naked on the bar (oh wait, that was TONIGHT's entertainment)

What else do you want me to do?

[pixiness]

[quote] originally posted by Moe:

pixi's price list:
Body Shots: $10
Eating Jello off of the ass: $20
Eating Jello off of the stomach: $15
Playing name the taste by licking various parts of pixi's body that have been covered in fruit juices: $50
Going to the back room with a bag of pixidust: $120
Going to the back room with a midget: $150
Going to the back room with a manequin: $135

<hr></blockquote>

Additions.....

lap dances: $35 each or 2 for $60

dirty talk (to induce happy thoughts so you can fly after being pixidusted): free with purchase of pixidust

tandem mechanical bullrides: Clothed - $20, one person naked $35, both people naked $45

private striptease: $50 ($10 with purchase of pixidust)

full body massage: with me clothed- $60, with me naked - $75, with me naked and with pixidust massage oil - $80 (includes souvenir bottle of massage oil)

normal sex - $100
weird sex - $90 ;)
marathon sex - What the heck? if you go all night, I might pay you!

[Moe Szyslak]

If I didn't get freebies my bill would be....

&lt;Moe tabulates using a ledger...okay, a diary of everything pixi&gt;

Holy *****, I could almost buy a house with the amount of money I'm saving.

[pixiness]

Hey, just be glad I haven't set a price on that "special" thing you like me to do with my...

Oh, maybe I shouldn't say that here... Others may get ideas.

[Moe Szyslak]

You better not post that either...I don't want you being worn out for me. :D

[pixiness]

what do you think pixidust is for silly?

::: dumps a bagful down the front of Moe's pants:::

This should be interesting.... :p :D ;)

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>I'm sure Supes' ass is fine. He does after all have Buns of Steel! :rolleyes: :D </strong><hr></blockquote>

At least someone noticed I've been working out!

[Agent_87]

Hey! i noticed, but i thought mentioning it might be kinda weird! ...ya know!?


...i'll be over there! &lt;points at a dark corner&gt;

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>what do you think pixidust is for silly?

::: dumps a bagful down the front of Moe's pants:::

This should be interesting.... :p :D ;) </strong><hr></blockquote>

Oh great, I was worried about you being worn out not me. Oh well, hey! Where did pixi go? You can't just do that to me and leave.

&lt;Moe eyes Superman's buns of steel&gt;

Ah crap, I need to go look for a girl!

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>
marathon sex - What the heck? if you go all night, I might pay you!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Get ready to pay up sweetie!!! Hehe, it's the only kinda sex I know about ;) .............

[pixiness]

::: Purrrrrrrs ::::

Okay, I guess for the rest of the day you all know where to find me.

::: grabs the key to padded cell #8, grabs Madness' leash and a bag o' dust :::

Come along, Madness sweetie!

[pixiness]

Oh, before I forget, Moe, the effects of that pixidust will only intensify over time, so when Madness and I reach the 7th inning stretch I'll take care of you. Sound good?

[Moe Szyslak]

Ah man, sloppy seconds...eh, for you pixi I would do anything.

[pixiness]

Hey, I DO SHOWER you know!!!!!!

[Moe Szyslak]

It's not you I'm worried about pixi, there's no telling what kinds of corpses Madness has been with.

[pixiness]

Good point, but as long as you hose him down first, most of the blood and guts and body parts rinse right off.

[pixiness]

Okay.... Madness has declared the 7th inning stretch.... is everyone else okay out here?

[TyRoss]

You know Pixi you should hire some help you must be exhausted.

- TyRoss :eek:

[pixiness]

Awwwww. TyRoss's FIRST words in the P&H club... This IS a momentus occasion! Pick somethin' off the price list sweetie.

And as for help, there are the mannequins (but everyone says they're kind of cold and not very good coversationalists)

And then of course there are the midgets, but you gotta be careful they ALL bite and some of them are rabid.

I'm sure if Moe were here he'd offer you a drink to sip while you peruse the price list, but I can't seem to find him.

[TyRoss]

Awwwww that's sweet of you Pixi but I'm a married man. I'll settle for a slice of pepperoni, some good converstaion and a rain check on the drink (scotch and soda light on the ice). OK, oh and don't worry my wife doesn't mind me hangin' here as long as I'm good, for some reason she trusts me.

- TyRoss :eek: