Pizza and Hookers Club

[pixiness]

Okay, I'll go get you some from the bar...

::coyly heads for the door, stops then looks over her shoulder at a stunned 87::

Oh, is that not what you meant?
;)

[Madness]

Yah, I'm sure he wanted the drink :rolleyes: ...........

[Moe Szyslak]

If he were a halfway decent guy pixi he would have given you an orgasm.

[Madness]

"An" orgasm?!?!? Singular??? No, no, with me it's multiple or nothing at all...............

[ 12-20-2001: Message edited by: Madness ]</p>

[Agent_87]

MADNESS, be careful how you word your sentances. You're gave Pixi the impression we we're the same person. Not that im apalled. But i really don't need to be associated with your type of unique INSANITY...... after all, i have my own two-faced personality, and when you word your sentances like...

[quote] Madness
"An" orgasm?!?!? Singular??? No, no, with me it's multiple or nothing at all...............
<hr></blockquote>

...when they were talking about me. You unintendidly fuse our personalities.

&lt;whips his head back around, and stares at pixi.&gt;

... :cool: Let's go baby! ...i believe you ordered a double orgasm!?...

[pixiness]

yes, that's right a double with a side of sighs.

And I believe you and Madness aren't the same person... otherwise how could he be joining us in this 3-way?

::87 comes to a sudden halt in the middle of the hallway by the jacuzzi room::

What? He didn't TELL you? I KNEW I shouldn't have asked him to tell you BEFORE he took his meds...Maybe we can get a head start...

::grabs 87's elbow and quickly darts inside a closet::

Now, I think we'll have at least a couple of minutes before he finds us. Now why don't you sit right here

:: pulls up a chair, takes off his clothes, her clothes and positions herself on his lap::

So, how's your day been so far, cutie?

[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: pixiness ]</p>

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Now, I think we'll have at least a couple of minutes before he finds us. </strong><hr></blockquote>

Yah, I'm sure that's all he'll need ;) :p ......................

[pixiness]

you on the other hand.... (hmmm interesting choice of words.. no?) require a bit more of my time.


Shall I get ready for round two?

[Madness]

Yah, well I go 'til knockout, so, you should really be gettin' ready for a full out BRAWL!!!!

[pixiness]

well well well, the ultimate fighting championship of sex. Sounds right up my alley. Let's get in the ring hot stuff!

[tyler_durden]

Hey Moe, I need something to drink before I head out for my annual Christmas Mischief and Mayhem convention. What do ya got that's Christmas like?

[tyler_durden]

Hey, are we exchanging gifts in here or what? I have a bunch of extra "keys" in here if y'all want some. They work on any lock.... :D

[tyler_durden]

Well, I am leaving so see y'all later....

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>well well well, the ultimate fighting championship of sex. Sounds right up my alley. Let's get in the ring hot stuff!</strong><hr></blockquote>

*Ding Ding*

Round 1............

[Agent_87]

(apalled that pixi ditched him for madness)

......MOE! your house slut, is playing favorites again! ...Are there any free midgets?

[TyRoss]

Ask Frizzo if he can spare one, oh and they're not free you have to pay like everyone else.

- TyRoss

[Madness]

Yah, I think midgets are better suited for someone of you, uh, stature ;) .......(I'm a bastard, but hey, so are you)........

[Agent_87]

(even more appalled, that MADNESS is ignoring the beautiful pixi, just too 'kick 87 when he's down'!)


......hmm.


(Leaves the club in a drunken state, and gets into his car!)

[TyRoss]

(TyRoss runs to 87 as he reaches the door)

"Hey man don't be stupid let me call you a cab"

(87 ignores TyRoss and continues towards car)

"I'm serious I really can't let you do this"

(87 takes a drunken swing at TyRoss which TyRoss easily blocks. 87 then kicks him right in the goodies. TyRoss is forced to let 87 go as he doubles over in pain and 87 reaches his car)

Ummmm if theres any certain secret agents (or owners) reading this I think we have a drunk driver (and possibly a lawsuit) on our hands. Although for legal purposes let it be known that the club tried to stop him.

- TyRoss

[Agent_87]

(87 stops short of the car!....)

....Wait! I'm not drunk! ...I'm furious!

(87 runs back into the club, in a fit of rage)

[TyRoss]

(TyRoss resting with a little ice on his gennies notices 87 rushing back in apparently no longer drunk but steaming mad and heading for Madness)

"Ah damn it now what"

- TyRoss

[Agent_87]

(The doors too the club burst open, and 87 charges in... grabbing a fire extinguisher on the way.)

...you wanna thick milky froth. I have just the solution!

(points the extinguisher at madness and fires!...)


...frizzo, punt me a midget! I need something to swing at him, once he gets up!

[TyRoss]

(As 87 is concentrating on Madness TyRoss sneaks up behind him and puts handuffs on his ankles. Then shoves him to the floor.)

"No fighting over the talent in the club. As punishment the cuffs stay on and Madness gets to deal with you in a back room. Anytime you're ready Madness, oh and use a soundproof room I don't wanna hear the screams."

(TyRoss gives Madness the keys to the cuffs and a towel to dry off)

"Next time jump him outside then I wont have to do this."

- TyRoss

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>...frizzo, punt me a midget! I need something to swing at him, once he gets up!</strong><hr></blockquote>Ordinarily, I would, but T is the bouncer...and this is my favorite hangout. I'm not gonna risl getting kicked out!

[Agent_87]

(87 looks up at Ty Ross with concern in his eyes.)


...oh, god. You can't seriously be considering letting him loose on me, with no way of defending myself?

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</p>

[bbf2]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>(87 looks up at Ty Ross with concern in his eyes.)


...oh, god. You can't seriously be considering letting him loose on me, with no way of defending myself?
</strong><hr></blockquote>

The fact you can't defend yourself is half the fun!

[TyRoss]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>(87 looks up at Ty Ross with concern in his eyes.)


...oh, god. You can't seriously be considering letting him loose on me, with no way of defending myself?

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hey I left your hands free should minimise the scarring maybe next time you'll think twice before causing trouble in the club. Wher is Madness anyways I wanna see this before I have to go.

- TyRoss

[ 12-23-2001: Message edited by: TyRoss ]</p>

[Madness]

Madness stubles out of the back room after a 2 day sex brawl. His shirt is torn, he's covered in scratches, and sways occasionally.

Madness- What's all this friggen ruckus out here?!?! I'm trying to break a record!!!! :mad:

Tyross- Uh, Mr. Madness, 87 was planning on ambushing you....

Madness- Really.....(Madness pulls out the bat from behind the bar.) Alright, I'm gonna end this....

(Suddenly Pixi comes out of the back, all dishelved, wobbling aroundm, hair messed up to *****, covering herself in bed sheets.)

Pixi- Madness, sweetie, could you get back in here .....Oh, leave 87 alone, he's harmless, why do you always gotta be such a bully!!....

Madness- .....UUrrrrgh, (Drops the bat.) FINE!!! It's your lucky day, punk......(Walks into the back room..)

Pixi- (Muffled in the back room.) Can't you go 1 day without having to beat someone into unconciusness!!!

Madness- Yah, i guess so.......Now come on, lets fu&k 'til we pass out................

[Superman]

&lt;Pulls out a gun&gt; Dino, I think it's time we cleaned up this bar! Grab the Hefty trash bags...

[LOTR]

What Is The Pizza and Hookers Club

[thebtskink]

I like hookers,
I like pizza,
Con-air, con-air,
thank god I metchya!!

[Agent_87]

&lt; 87 unties himself, and turns toward LOTR! &gt;

...guys! now that TY Ross is gone. I'm gonna take the liberty of removing the trash myself!

&lt; Kicks LOTR in the MOMMY-DADDY BUTTON, and then drags his sorry ass out the door! &gt;

...What is the Pizza and Hookers Club!? ...it's the one place where you're not welcome! Get out and STAY OUT!!!! :mad:

[pixiness]

:: peeks her head out the door in the back ::

87, sweetheart... just for getting rid of LOTR I am ALL yours for as long as you want me, baby.

:: runs out to the middle of the bar, rips 87's clothes off and begins giving him the naughtiest lap dance she's capable of ::

Seriously darling, anything you ask for. What you did deserves rewards I might have to spend the rest of forever paying you back for.

[Agent_87]

Hmmm.... After a night with MADNESS you're gonna need a shower before i go anywhere near you!

...get back to me! ;)

[Madness]

What is this nonsense?!?!? I kill LOTR on several different occasions, and get NO special treatment!!! I'm sick of this friggen bull*****!!
Screw this place, I'm atta here!!.....
(Madness storms atta the Pizza and hookers club)
I need to find a hooker that appreciates the insanity IO spew................

[Frizzo the Clown]

I'm in the holiday spirit! Let me have a Stout...and uh...um..put a candy cane in it!

[LOTR]

why did i get kicked out for :( :( :(

[bbf2]

[quote]Originally posted by LOTR:
<strong>why did i get kicked out for :( :( :( </strong><hr></blockquote>

Because you're underage. You're not allowed to have hookers! It's illegal!

Oh, wait, hookers are always illegal . . .

[LOTR]

come on i want to be in

[bbf2]

[quote]Originally posted by LOTR:
<strong>come on i want to be in</strong><hr></blockquote>

Gee, we'd like to let you in, but all the hookers are refusing to do anything no matter how much money you have. Sorry.

[LOTR]

why

[JBond]

Try to refran from ONE WORD POSTS OVER AND OVER!!!!

This is your warning, you have way to little content in your posts, borderline spamming.

[LOTR]

ok but i just want to be in the club at be cool and i dont want to get kicked out by agent 87 Sir :( :( :(

[JBond]

First of all, never call me sir again. Second of all, forget stupid clubs, it isn't a real club. Just post normally like everyone else, try to discuss movies in other forums (try not to make so many new ones though) And please stop all this nonsense.

[LOTR]

so u dont want me to call u Sir then ?

[thebtskink]

[quote]Originally posted by LOTR:
<strong>so u dont want me to call u Sir then ?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Did you read a WORD of what he just posted?

[JBond]

You're quick :rolleyes:

[Agent_87]

We want you too leave!!!! (87 gets off his bar stool, and flexes his muscles!)

.....now!? am i gonna have to put you in a head-lock and drag your ass out again, or are you going to leave the club, peacefully. After-all, you don't look 19 too me. Which is the drinking age, in this club.

(87 turns too JBOND)

...You gotta love these Canadian rules, eh!?

OH! and speaking of Canadian rules. I'm gonna beat your ass hockey-style, if you don't leave, or show me some I.D. ...LOTR!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by LOTR:
<strong>so u dont want me to call u Sir then ?</strong><hr></blockquote>

I can have him shot if you want.

[pixiness]

:: tosses Superman her Samuarai sword xmas gift ::

Or you could just use this...

:: whispers in 87's ear while kissing his neck ::

watch this, it's gonna be great!

[LOTR]

am thinking of never posting on coming soon forums again :( :( :(

[rObix]

[quote]Originally posted by LOTR:
<strong>am thinking of never posting on coming soon forums again :( :( :( </strong><hr></blockquote>

this truley is a merry day, indeed.

[LOTR]

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

[Kyle Katarn]

I don't know if I should laugh or cry... :rolleyes:

[JBond]

I know which one I'm doing.

[thebtskink]

I'm crying tears of joy.. HALLEJUAH, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

[Madness]

(Madness places one of those electric dog collars on LOTR and a barrier around the club doors, so LOTR gets a shock everytime he tries to enter.

Madness- (Tossing LOTR out.) And stay out!!!

(LOTR runs back in but receives a shock that sends him flying back to the parking lot.

(Laughter is heard throughout the club. LOTR gets back up.)

LOTR- I jus wanto bee iin the clunb..(Runs back to the door and receives another shock.
More laughter. LOTR does this repeatedly, always with the same results. The laughter begins to diminsih. Soon the laughter becomes pathetic moans and grunts from bystanders, pursing their lips, unwilling to believe this level of ignorance.)

LOTR- Pleeas sirs, am a goode boy and wann in...(ZZZZAAAAP!!!!)

JBond- Kay, now that's just sad......

[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Madness ]</p>

[Agent_87]

Bartender, a round of screw-drivers on me!
We're celebrating!

[pixiness]

::Lifting a bottle of champagne::

I'll drink to that!!!

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>::Lifting a bottle of champagne::

I'll drink to that!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hey, don't forget to pass the bottle around. I think I need something to drink as well. I've haven't had anything to drink in 5 days, and I am afraid I might become......sober....... :eek: :p :D

[pixiness]

well, help yourself to the bar sweetie... everyone else has

::looks at Frizzo who has rigged a straw and tubing to one of the beer taps::

Moe won't know the difference. He seems to be on vacation. Drink Up!

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>well, help yourself to the bar sweetie... everyone else has

::looks at Frizzo who has rigged a straw and tubing to one of the beer taps::

Moe won't know the difference. He seems to be on vacation. Drink Up!</strong><hr></blockquote>
I noticed that...besides, he always lets me do this anyway....as far as you know....

[bbf2]

LOTR has left . . . giving us all the best Christmas present yet!

[pixiness]

:: presses the button for jack daniels to begin showering down from the ceiling::

God Bless us everyone!

[Olorin]

Whatever the crud happened to the Pizza in this deal?

*brings in a truck, the bed of which is filled with Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, and any other conceivable brand (excluding Dominoes)*

Now you guys had better eat this stuff, it took me an entire day to steal!

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>Whatever the crud happened to the Pizza in this deal?

*brings in a truck, the bed of which is filled with Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, and any other conceivable brand (excluding Dominoes)*

Now you guys had better eat this stuff, it took me an entire day to steal!</strong><hr></blockquote>

I tried getting pizza a while back, and Moe had no idea what I was talking about......imagine, a pizza and hookers club, without the pizza!

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>

I tried getting pizza a while back, and Moe had no idea what I was talking about......imagine, a pizza and hookers club, without the pizza!</strong><hr></blockquote>

*bored, glances at his watch* Look man, do you want to eat it or not? You can give me the emancipation proclamation later. It's pizza time!

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

*bored, glances at his watch* Look man, do you want to eat it or not? You can give me the emancipation proclamation later. It's pizza time!</strong><hr></blockquote>Fine, fine, fine. Gimmie a slice of Chichago style, with extra cheese.

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>Fine, fine, fine. Gimmie a slice of Chichago style, with extra cheese.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Paremesan cheese? Cheyenne pepper? Any special toppings?

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

Paremesan cheese? Cheyenne pepper? Any special toppings?</strong><hr></blockquote>Um...extra cheese, dumbass....geez, maybe you should read the post before you respond....

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>Um...extra cheese, dumbass....geez, maybe you should read the post before you respond....</strong><hr></blockquote>

Good lord, you can put shaker stuff (parmesan cheese, cheyenne pepper, garlic, oregano, etc) on top of the cheese, you fool!

[slinger]

I think we need to find a way to fit hookers in pizza.

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by slinger:
<strong>I think we need to find a way to fit hookers in pizza.</strong><hr></blockquote>

I'm not too fond of eating humans, thank you.

[Agent_87]

(Looks at Olorin)

.............MMMMMM, spread-hooker pizza! ......I'll take a bite of that! :eek:

[tyler_durden]

Finally we get pizza in the bar. WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

&lt;takes the bottle of champagne from Pixie and drains it&gt;

Next time I have to get BEFORE madness. While I like having the ***** beat out of me and bleeding, I don't like guts on the bottle. Dammit Madness, we have to share these things.... :eek: :eek: ;) :D

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by tyler_durden:
<strong>Finally we get pizza in the bar. WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!
</strong><hr></blockquote>

You can thank me later... actually, you'll thank me now.

[Agent_87]

buuuurrrp!!!


SORRY! ............these Hookers, are good eatin'!

[Moe Szyslak]

Hey, no stealing my booze!

[Agent_87]

(Looks up in shock)

Moe!? You're here!?


ANOTHER ROUND!!!!!!!!

[pixiness]

::Waves to Moe, but can't go anywhere since 87's holding her head in his lap::

::mumbling::

Be right with you dear, just a little bit busy at the moment

[tyler_durden]

Welcome back, Moe!

[slinger]

Moe, theres a big mess in the washroom. I don't know who made it but they only way to clean it is to burn it to the ground.

[pixiness]

what kind of mess? If it's a bloody, decapitated body kind of mess - it's Madness's mess, and he should clean it up.

If it's something else... please don't tell me, it might make me sick

[Agent_87]

Was it white and on the walls? If so, blame Frizzo!

[Nilade]

Alright! Here I am! I gotta pocket full O cash and drugs, double-fisted with booze, and Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits CD in my back pocket! What's up!

[Moe Szyslak]

The bartender isn't around all that much...people are lacking the proper amount of booze. Wait a minute, I'm the bartender. I'm not around much until after New Years so I better do something about that.

&lt;Moe hooks up a replicator that he stole from Star Trek forum.&gt;

I've made all the necessary modifications so it dispenses real booze instead of synthehol(sp?). Go nuts.

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>Was it white and on the walls? If so, blame Frizzo!</strong><hr></blockquote>
Hey! Thats not my fault....oh wait..you mean that stuff on the walls..oh yeah, that was me. My bad.

[Kyle Katarn]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>
&lt;Moe hooks up a replicator that he stole from Star Trek forum.&gt;

I've made all the necessary modifications so it dispenses real booze instead of synthehol(sp?). Go nuts.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Good timing, barkeep - the feds already closed that forum down not too long ago! :eek: :D

[pixiness]

That's why he got the replicator cheap. Haven't you ever been to a government auction? Those things ROCK. Especially if you buy a drug dealer's car that still had a hidden stash of something!

[pixiness]

oh yeah and one word of warning about the replicator... don't get your hands in the way while stuff is materializing... we had an unfortunate incident with a beer can fusing to someone's arm..

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>oh yeah and one word of warning about the replicator... don't get your hands in the way while stuff is materializing... we had an unfortunate incident with a beer can fusing to someone's arm..</strong><hr></blockquote>

Your right, that is unfortunate. A beer mug, well, that would have been cool. But a beer can isn't as easily refillable.....

[pixiness]

yeah we tried refilling the can for a while, but then it started to get all crumpled and leaky... that's just a waste of beer

[Agent_87]

(87 steps up to the replicator)

Ummm.... 1 Jessica Alba!

[pixiness]

:: sits on her bar-stool feeling jilted ::

I hope you ordered her to share, 87... I'm not quite through with you yet...

[Agent_87]

......OH MY GOD! This is the greatest investment ever! It makes women JEALOUS!!!!!

[ 12-28-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</p>

[pixiness]

speaking of which, wasn't i promised a "ride" 87?

[Agent_87]

wELL mount up, baby!

[slinger]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>speaking of which, wasn't i promised a "ride" 87?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Don't feel neglected. Once I replicate a-boot 37 celebrites I'll ask for you.

[pixiness]

but what will Jessica do, I don't want her to be left out.

[Agent_87]

Oh she won't be...... she's gonna _____ you, while you _____ me!

[slinger]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>Oh she won't be...... she's gonna _____ you, while you _____ me!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Smell?

[Agent_87]

whatever turns your crank!

[pixiness]

look at my poor 87, they've forced you to censor yourself. Let's do something x-rated just to get you back in the spirit.

::grabs Jessica, some handcuffs, a bottle of massage oil and a cardboard box from behind the bar labeled "pixi's "special" toys"::

[Agent_87]

OH, THANK GOD!

[pixiness]

don't thank god yet cutie, I haven't even started!

[Nilade]

Wow! :D

[Madness]

I don't suppose I could still get in on this Pixi/Jessie Alba action, hmmmm???............

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by Madness:
<strong>I don't suppose I could still get in on this Pixi/Jessie Alba action, hmmmm???............</strong><hr></blockquote>

Yeah, and when you're done, I might have to get some of that too. Pixie alone is hard to resist, but throw in Jessica Alba, and guys just don't stand a chance.....it's just not fair....in a good way of course.....

[TyRoss]

Wow a guy leaves for a week and LOTR is checked out (which I applaud) pizza comes back into the club and Jessica Alba shows up. Ahhhhh life back to normal this is great.

- TyRoss

[JBond]

Ah crap, Alba's going for the door! :eek: Why...WHY......WE'RE OUT OF PIZZA!!!!! GET THAT WOMAN MORE PIZZA!!!!

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by JBond:
<strong>Ah crap, Alba's going for the door! :eek: Why...WHY......WE'RE OUT OF PIZZA!!!!! GET THAT WOMAN MORE PIZZA!!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Well, if she makes it out the door we can always replicate a new one. After all, that is how she got here originally...

[JBond]

Oh...I must have missed that.

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by tyler_durden:
<strong>Pixie alone is hard to resist, but throw in Jessica Alba, and guys just don't stand a chance.....it's just not fair....in a good way of course.....</strong><hr></blockquote>

Of course!!.....

[Agent_87]

(EVERYONE RUSHES FOR THE REPLICATOR!!!!!, BUT 87 BEATS THEM THERE!!!!)

.....Um, 1 Alyssa Milano!

[TyRoss]

Holy cow is there a replicator pimp in the house???

- TyRoss

[Agent_87]

Ummmm, YEAH! ....how much you got for a night with miss Milano? We'll start the biding at, say $200 bucks. Gentlemen, do i hear $200?

[Kyle Katarn]

Kyle: 200 eh? Can do! &lt;Kyle uses the force to put 200 pounds of pressure on 87's windpipe! As 87 struggles for air, Kyle runs past him to the machine and replicates Stacy Keibler!!! :D He then throws her over his shoulder and carries her back to the Moldy Crow and takes off!&gt;

87: &lt;rubbing throat&gt; What is up with that??? Oh well...Milano! $200!! Any takers?

[slinger]

I'll give you this bottle of water. Its Aberfoyle Springs :)

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by TyRoss:
<strong>Holy cow is there a replicator pimp in the house???

- TyRoss</strong><hr></blockquote>

Moe stole it from the Star Trek forum.

[Agent_87]

Sold too Slinger, for a bottle of water! Have a nice night, miss Milano!


(Turns around to face the replicator)

1 Darth Maul! ...i need to settle something with a certain rouge jedi!

[Con-Air]

(all the clones make a break for the door but are caught by a mysterious figure blocking their way holding a bunch of boxes of pizza)

Con-Air: I leave the club for a while to settle some business and already you have the clones running for the hills. Normally I would be mad, but LOTR got his ass kicked and I have boxes of pizza with me so until this Tuesday.......... EVERYTHING IS ON THE HOUSE!!!!!!!

[Agent_87]

(Turns back towards the replicator)

1 Kirsten Dunst, for the boss!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by LOTR:
<strong>am thinking of never posting on coming soon forums again :( :( :( </strong><hr></blockquote>

Is that a promise?

[Superman]

Con-Air, Dino and I need the joint reserved for our annual New Years Eve party. We're expecting lots of guests, but Dino is willing to lend 100 midgets as waiters for the party.

[pixiness]

[quote] originally posted by everyone's favorite Madman: I don't suppose I could still get in on this Pixi/Jessie Alba action, hmmmm???............ <hr></blockquote>

Well, if you PROMISE to be good, and not hurt 87, and if 87's okay with it....then sure! Just go replicate us a few more women... my requests - liz hurley, katie holmes, and kate hudson. Oh! and don't forget the champagne.

See you all later... we're going to ring in the new year nice and proper!

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>

Well, if you PROMISE to be good, and not hurt 87, and if 87's okay with it....then sure! Just go replicate us a few more women... my requests - liz hurley, katie holmes, and kate hudson. Oh! and don't forget the champagne.

See you all later... we're going to ring in the new year nice and proper!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hmmm, let see; No, screw that, in yer dreams!! Instead of being "good", here's what I'll do instead: I'll replicate all the women I can handle, turn 87 into a walking bloodbath, and invite you to the join the orgilicious action.....And if you're not down with that, you can always be replicated ;) :p ...............

[TyRoss]

OK the replicator is getting out of hand. Someone program it to not replicate Pixi or other CS members.

- TyRoss

[Madness]

Ok, but before we do that, lemme just replicate a dozen Pixi's...You know, for a rainy day ;) ...............

[pixiness]

Darling, you should know that I can ONLY be imitated, NEVER duplicated. There are some "special tricks and features" that only come with the original. ;)

Orgilicious..... you're gonna have to show me what you mean. ;) ;) ;P

[Moe Szyslak]

I juryrigged the replicator for New Years. It is now set up so that champagne, condoms, and morning after pills are free for the evening.

You guys do realize that the touch pads are DNA sensitive and have been billing to a tab right?

Have a Happy New Year everyone(I should be back a little more in a some time next week).

Don't do anything I would do. :D

[Kyle Katarn]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>
(Turns around to face the replicator)

1 Darth Maul! ...i need to settle something with a certain rouge jedi!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Meanwhile, aboard Kyle's ship, the Moldy Crow...

&lt;Kyle is relaxing in bed after a wild night with Stacy (who has gone to the refresher). Suddenly, DARTH MAUL crashes through the bedroom door!

Kyle: This can't be! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

Maul: Time to face your destiny, young fool! I am a Sith...cold and focused! NOTHING will keep my from my task!

&lt;Maul activates his lighsaber and heads to Kyle's bed...but he stops at the door to the refresher, and looks in and sees Stacy bent over in the shower!!! :eek: &gt;

Stacy: ...stupid soap, where'd it go?

&lt;Maul's eyes are bugging out! While he is distracted, Kyle grabs Maul's saber with the Force and clobbers Maul with the handle! Kyle then uses the Force to push Maul out of his handy bedroom airlock!&gt;

Kyle: Whew, that was close...maybe I should go back to the club and pay them for use of the replicator...

Stacy: KYLE!!! I need someone to wash my back!

Kyle: ...which I will do after I help Stacy! WOO HOO!!! &lt;runs to the shower in glee!&gt;

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Darling, you should know that I can ONLY be imitated, NEVER duplicated. There are some "special tricks and features" that only come with the original. ;)

Orgilicious..... you're gonna have to show me what you mean. ;) ;) ;P</strong><hr></blockquote>

Sexual innuendo must stop! :mad:

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Darling, you should know that I can ONLY be imitated, NEVER duplicated. There are some "special tricks and features" that only come with the original. ;) </strong><hr></blockquote>
Well, you'll have to show me those....Again....and again...Well, basically 'til I lose my ibido, and lets face it, that day will never come.....Unlike me.... ;)
[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>
Orgilicious..... you're gonna have to show me what you mean. ;) ;) ;P</strong><hr></blockquote>

What d'you think I've been trying to show you this whole time?!?!

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

Sexual innuendo must stop! :mad: </strong><hr></blockquote>

I see, so you want the straight forward stuff? Naughty Olorin, are you trying to get our little pixi banned?

[ 12-29-2001: Message edited by: Moe Szyslak ]</p>

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>

I see, so you want the straight forward stuff? Naughty Olorin, are you trying to get our little pixi banned?

[ 12-29-2001: Message edited by: Moe Szyslak ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Once I have enough time, I am going to mount a full campaign to attempt and return ComingSoon to the family-friendly atmosphere that we once had. We managed for an entire year without descending into constant sexual innuendo and blatant descriptions. Damn, even I, the suuposed upstanding citizen, succumb to that temptation quite often. There is a time and a place, I imagine, for Madness and Pixi to get kinky, but frankly, a movie message board is not that place. We're supposed to be a G-PG sort of board, but we're pretty damn close to NC-17 sometimes.

[slinger]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>Sold too Slinger, for a bottle of water! Have a nice night, miss Milano!


(Turns around to face the replicator)

1 Darth Maul! ...i need to settle something with a certain rouge jedi!</strong><hr></blockquote>

I wish I had that bottle of water, afterwords. New Year's Eve Party? Better makesure the replicator doesn't burn out before than.

[Agent_87]

(87 becomes dazed..... like he sences a tragic event has occured.)

87: ........NO! ......it can't be!

JBond: What? The force!?

87: NO!!!! ....da Schwartz!

[Agent_87]

(87 runs over too the replicator....)


87: Computer!!! i need the biggest, tha baddest, the meanist, the oddest creature alive!!!! ......give me 1, Austin Powers!!!!

[ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</p>

[slinger]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>
Orgilicious.....</strong><hr></blockquote>

Doesn't Don King say that?

[slinger]

[quote]Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<strong>I juryrigged the replicator for New Years. It is now set up so that champagne, condoms, and morning after pills are free for the evening.

You guys do realize that the touch pads are DNA sensitive and have been billing to a tab right?

Have a Happy New Year everyone(I should be back a little more in a some time next week).

Don't do anything I would do. :D </strong><hr></blockquote>

I'll get Agent 87 real drunk, cut off his hand and then just use that for the rest of the night. Make sure it gets soaked in alcohol then in the morning we trudge down to the hospital and get it back on 87.

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>We're supposed to be a G-PG sort of board, but we're pretty damn close to NC-17 sometimes.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Uh, how could this be, when movies like Matrix, Blade 2, Terminator 3, etc....are rated R!!! Obviously for people to talk about these movies, they'd have to see it!! And to see it, you have to be over 17!!! AND the stuff you see/hear in those movies are FAR worse than anyhting we ever have here!!! Get yer head atta yer ass!!.....

Now,....someone replicate me a pair of lips, I'm gonna need some alone time.............

[Agent_87]

(87 turns to the replicator)

1 Pair of giant wax lips!

[TyRoss]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

Sexual innuendo must stop! :mad: </strong><hr></blockquote>


What would a Pizza and Hokkers Club be withount sexual innuendo??? Take away that and Madness might just kill us all since he wont have Pixi for releasing some of his tensions.

- TyRoss

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by TyRoss:
<strong>


What would a Pizza and Hokkers Club be withount sexual innuendo??? Take away that and Madness might just kill us all since he wont have Pixi for releasing some of his tensions.

- TyRoss</strong><hr></blockquote>

Thank-you!!!!..............

[Agent_87]

(87 again, turns to the replicator)

.........oh, and a vanilla milk shake!

[Con-Air]

(grabs replicator)

All right, you've been warned. Now maybe if you're good you'll get it back at the end of the day.

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>(grabs replicator)

All right, you've been warned. Now maybe if you're good you'll get it back at the end of the day.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Awwwwwwwwwwwww............

[pixiness]

:: puts on her plaid knee length skirt, white button down shirt, and navy blue blazer left over from private school::

Okay, Olorin.... I'll behave.

:: pulls out a book, Shakespeare's Hamlet to be exact::

Hamlet, Act One, Scene One, Denmark....

[ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: pixiness ]</p>

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>:: puts on her plaid knee length skirt, white button down shirt, and navy blue blazer left over from private school::

Okay, Olorin.... I'll behave.

:: pulls out a book, Shakespeare's Hamlet to be exact::

Hamlet, Act One, Scene One, Denmark....

[ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: pixiness ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Boooooo!! Hiss! Back to sexy kinky talk, the real entertainment! :D

[pixiness]

No, no, the Pizza and Hookers Club should turn over a new leaf... We'll have kindercare in the refinished back rooms. I'll be discussing literature in the afternoons. Moe is going to hire a string quartet and from now on besides the Pizza the refreshments will be coffee (decaf of course), milk (chocolate and plain), and apple juice.

Now, What do we think Shakespeare would think of the various film interpretations of his beloved tragedy. I for one, think he would not be pleased

[Superman]

I'm going to start a f--king riot! Who's with me!?

[TyRoss]

(Getting various weapons from behind the bar)

Any rioting should be done outside the club.

(Checks his kryptonite bullets)

Heck I'll even build a wrestling ring for you guys out there if you want.

(Puts on body armor and melee weapons)

I mean we can resolve this by shouting at each other like civilized people right??

(Loads guns and stares warily out over the crowd)

- TyRoss

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>No, no, the Pizza and Hookers Club should turn over a new leaf... We'll have kindercare in the refinished back rooms. I'll be discussing literature in the afternoons. Moe is going to hire a string quartet and from now on besides the Pizza the refreshments will be coffee (decaf of course), milk (chocolate and plain), and apple juice.

Now, What do we think Shakespeare would think of the various film interpretations of his beloved tragedy. I for one, think he would not be pleased</strong><hr></blockquote>
Mmmm, it's really sexy hearing you read Shakespeare.......And those glasses..Ugh...MAN!!.....So, plaid skirt, huh?......(Twidles thumbs.).....twitch..WHOA!! Hehe, ahem, sorry about that....GACK!..Ok, did not know where that came from.....

Pixi- Anyways, today we'll review Hamlets pensiveness, was it his tragic flaw?? Did his eventual downfall stem from his indecisevness?? Which characters are allowed to perceive....

Madness- AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! (Madness jumps up, throws Pixi over his shoulder, runs to the back room and slams the door. Moments later a plaid skirt, glasses, a hamlet book, and a leather thong are tossed out the door and slammed again...(And that's not the only thing being slammed, hehehe...............All this friggen "behaving" has got me all tense in the chestal area!!........

[ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: Madness ]</p>

[Kyle Katarn]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>(87 runs over too the replicator....)

87: Computer!!! i need the biggest, tha baddest, the meanist, the oddest creature alive!!!! ......give me 1, Austin Powers!!!!

[ 12-30-2001: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Cloud City, Bespin...

&lt;Kyle is checking into a posh Cloud City hotel&gt;

Clerk: Groovy, our deluxe honeymoon suite. That'll be 200 credits, man.

Kyle: Ok. &lt;Thinks to self, "DANG, this clerk needs to see an orthodontist!"&gt;

Clerk: &lt;Nudges Kyle and winks&gt; Now don't shag too late tonight - you don't want to miss the swingin' continental breakfast, yeah!

Kyle: ...I'll keep that in mind, thank you. &lt;leaves to get Stacy and the luggage off the Crow.

&lt;The clerk goes into a broom closet and removes his shoe. He then starts talking into it!&gt;

Clerk: Basil, this is Austin...come in!

Agent 87: &lt;from the shoe phone&gt; *sigh* How many times do I have to tell you??? I'm AGENT 87, not BASIL!!!

Austin: The target is moving up to the room, just like you planned...&lt;cracks door and peeks out, seeing Stacy with Kyle&gt; SCHWIIING!!!

87: What?!

Austin: &lt;Bowing to the ground&gt; I'm not worthy!

87: Moe must have got that replicator cheap...

Austin: Wha? Oh, sorry Basil...

87: I AM NOT BASIL!!!! :mad: Just be in the secret compartment behind the mirrors over the bed at the appointed time!

Later....

&lt;Kyle is in bed, waiting for Stacy, when Agent 87 kicks the door in!&gt;

87: All right! THIS will teach you to cut in line at the Club! NOW Austin!

&lt;Nothing happens...&gt;

Kyle: &lt;Igniting his lightsaber and moving toward 87&gt; You were saying?

&lt;The 2 stop when they hear a car horn from the street. They go to the window and see Stacy and Austin in Austin's Jaguar!&gt;

87: AUSTIN!!!

Austin: Sorry Basil...nothing personal!

Kyle: STACY!!!

Stacy: Oh, Kyle, you're too much of a square!

&lt;Austin and Stacy speed away laughing...&gt;

Kyle: &lt;turns saber off&gt; Oh well...easy come easy go. &lt;tosses Agent 87 a 200-credit coin&gt; Sorry, I let my hormones get the best of me...no wonder the old Order banned dating! Call it even?

87: Ahh...sure. Uh...can you give me a ride back to the club?

[pixiness]

Tomorrow.... Goldilocks, was she an evil temptress, sent to seduce the "bears" which represent pure unspoiled man? Or was she just a woman in the wrong place at the wrong time?


Or Kafka's Metamorphosis.... unless insects are considered "kinky". We all know how deviant my mind is...

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>No, no, the Pizza and Hookers Club should turn over a new leaf... We'll have kindercare in the refinished back rooms. I'll be discussing literature in the afternoons. Moe is going to hire a string quartet and from now on besides the Pizza the refreshments will be coffee (decaf of course), milk (chocolate and plain), and apple juice.

Now, What do we think Shakespeare would think of the various film interpretations of his beloved tragedy. I for one, think he would not be pleased</strong><hr></blockquote>
Decaf coffee? AHHHH!!! Will the horror ever end?

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Tomorrow.... Goldilocks, was she an evil temptress, sent to seduce the "bears" which represent pure unspoiled man? Or was she just a woman in the wrong place at the wrong time?


</strong><hr></blockquote>Evil temptress! I tell ya! She goes after midgets too!

[slinger]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Tomorrow.... Goldilocks, was she an evil temptress, sent to seduce the "bears" which represent pure unspoiled man? Or was she just a woman in the wrong place at the wrong time?


Or Kafka's Metamorphosis.... unless insects are considered "kinky". We all know how deviant my mind is...</strong><hr></blockquote>

Make the crazy lady stop!

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>No, no, the Pizza and Hookers Club should turn over a new leaf... We'll have kindercare in the refinished back rooms. I'll be discussing literature in the afternoons. Moe is going to hire a string quartet and from now on besides the Pizza the refreshments will be coffee (decaf of course), milk (chocolate and plain), and apple juice.

Now, What do we think Shakespeare would think of the various film interpretations of his beloved tragedy. I for one, think he would not be pleased</strong><hr></blockquote>

You're fired

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>

You're fired</strong><hr></blockquote>Well, that was short and sweet.

[obi wan jabroni]

http://www.uselessgraphics.com/547.gif

[Madness]

Obi wan is getting down!!!! Raise the roof!!!.....

[obi wan jabroni]

http://www.uselessgraphics.com/tapdancer.gif

[Agent_87]

&lt;Kyle and 87 arrive back at the club&gt;

87: Finally..... i can start drinking again!

[D-fence]

In front of the Club, outside in the rain, stands D-fence.

He stands almost perfectly still, just looking at the entrance. The look in his eyes hidden under the shadow of a large cowboy hat. If you look closely you can see that only his right hand is slightly trembling.

The rain doesn’t seem to bother him, he doesn’t even seem to notice it. If you would dare to come close enough you can hear him babbling the same words over and over again: “..hell.. destroy.. hell.. must destroy..hell”

Suddenly he moves.
He walks over to his car, opens the trunk and pulls out a black suitcase with a big smiley on it. He walks silently to the alley next to the Club and hides in the shadows.. waiting.. for the right time...

[Madness]

(In the back alley D-Fence see's Madness carving up his latest victim. Madness turns violently, covered in blood, to face D-Fence.)

Madness- What are you doing here?!?!

D-Fence- ...Uh, nothing.....What are you doing here??....

Madness- ...I too am doing nothing as well......

D-Fence-.....(Awkward silence...)

Madness- Alright then, carry on........

[pixiness]

OH... So I'm FIRED am I? That's just dandy.... Try to "entertain" the patrons and you get a slap on the wrist, try to be a little more "high-brow" and you get fired. REAL NICE!!!

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>I'm going to start a f--king riot! Who's with me!?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Mischief, mayhem, CHAOS!!!!! I love it!

[Agent_87]

&lt;87 walks into the club with a fist full of $20's&gt;

.................Fired!? ........................you're kidding right!?

&lt;87 sinks his head between his shoulders, and begins to walk out the door.&gt;....

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>OH... So I'm FIRED am I? That's just dandy.... Try to "entertain" the patrons and you get a slap on the wrist, try to be a little more "high-brow" and you get fired. REAL NICE!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Con-Air: HA! There's nothing that you did that I can't do just as good.

Turns around and sees Madness and 87 looking at him holding oils and lotions

Con-Air: AHHH!! YOU'RE HIRED, YOU'RE HIRED.

Runs upstairs crying

[pixiness]

so i guess it's going to be a speakeasy sort of thing... I'll use literary figures, titles and authors as code words....

Now Madness, about that Hemingway you ordered...

[Agent_87]

&lt; takes a seat back at the bar &gt;

.............you gotta wonder, where they hid that replicator, huh kyle? ..........kyle?

&lt; peers around the room, but cannot locate the rouge jedi &gt;

.....pixi!? where did jessica go?

[Con-Air]

Well here's my last post for 2001! Thank you all for making the club the controversial success that it is.

Here's too a nice healthy club in 2002!!!!

P.S. If I come back and the club is burnt down..... I'll be really mad.

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>Well here's my last post for 2001! Thank you all for making the club the controversial success that it is.

Here's too a nice healthy club in 2002!!!!

P.S. If I come back and the club is burnt down..... I'll be really mad.</strong><hr></blockquote>
And if you should find a charred foam rubber nose amongst the ashes, I didn't so it! I swear!

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>
And if you should find a charred foam rubber nose amongst the ashes, I didn't so it! I swear!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Yah, what he said.............

[TyRoss]

(TyRoss watches the party, everyone drinnking champagne and singing "Auld Lang Syne". And hopes everyone has a good 2002. And also hopes that everyone has forgotten everything about that almost riot that happened)

- TyRoss

[TyRoss]

Post number 500 my first milestone (although a minor one). Since the milestones thread is closed I thought I'd post it here. Hey everyone next round is on me.

- TyRoss

[Frizzo the Clown]

*after drinking too much celebratory champagne, Frizzo urinates in a potted plant sitting in the corner....mustring up his composure, he yells...*

Happy *hic* New Year, everybody! *hic*

*Frizzo then falls over and passes out in a pool of vomit that's on the floor (its not his)*

[Agent_87]

Happy F**kin' NEW YEARS!!!!!

( 87 takes hold of the replicator, and starts spouting off names............ )

I need Jessica Biel, Alysson Hannigan, Estella Warren, Natalie Portman, Christina Ricci, James King, and Jamie Pressley!

[TyRoss]

Didn't Con-Air put the replicator away???

- TyRoss

[Con-Air]

Don't worry, he's talking into Frizzo's ass.

[Kyle Katarn]

87: Why dosn't it work???

Kyle: &lt;yelling across the room&gt; You need to pull the "on" switch! It looks like Frizzo's finger!!!

87: Oh...&lt;grabs Frizzo's finger....&gt;

[Agent_87]

God dammit! That is the worst smell ever. Quick, someone give me a wrench and some pliers, i'll FIX this thing!

[TyRoss]

Man Pixi's not around and we reduce ourselves to fart jokes. See the positive influence she has on all our lives.

- TyRoss

[Frizzo the Clown]

AHHHH!!

*Frizzo regains consciousness*

Why the hell is there a pipe wrench wrapped aroudn my testicles?

[pixiness]

[quote] Originally posted by 87: .....pixi!? where did jessica go? <hr></blockquote>

Oh the morality patrol came by and she was thrown out with all the sex toys, beer, liquor and fun.

::hands 87 a list of literary "code-words"::

Now Herman Melvilles are half off today and If you want a House of the Seven Gables, you'll have to wait for my next opening at around noon.

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>

Oh the morality patrol came by and she was thrown out with all the sex toys, beer, liquor and fun.

::hands 87 a list of literary "code-words"::

Now Herman Melvilles are half off today and If you want a House of the Seven Gables, you'll have to wait for my next opening at around noon.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Well, can I get a Mark Twain? If I pay a little more, can I get a Vonnegut as well?

[pixiness]

Sweetie, let me just replicate a "helper" and you can have BOTH at the same time!!!!

[Agent_87]

&lt; looks at pixi, awkwardly &gt;...


&lt; grabs hold of the replicator &gt;.......


1 Marla Sokoloff, please!

[pixiness]

what's that look for 87?

[Agent_87]

You LET them take Jessica away! That's what the look was for! .....now if you'll excuse me, Marla and i will be discussing oil paintings in the gallery(formerly the broom closet)

[Moe Szyslak]

Well, since this club went all high society on me I guess I'm unemployed. I guess I'll just have to open up a new establishment or maybe I'll go back to acting in the soaps.

[Agent_87]

hEY! Cultural people, need liquor too!

&lt; picks up shotgun, and points it at Moe &gt;

Now! Start serving drinks!

[Moe Szyslak]

&lt;Moe is already out the door and searching for a new establishment.&gt;

[Superman]

Holy cow! Cops! It's a raid!

[Agent_87]

........?

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>........?</strong><hr></blockquote>

You have your shotgun fool! Fire back!

[Frizzo the Clown]

*Frizzo starts throwing water balloons and rubber chickens at the cops. The are loading the M-60, and Frizzo's monkey, Bobo, is flinging poo*

Take 'em out boys!

[Superman]

&lt;Throws manequins at S.W.A.T.&gt;

[Frizzo the Clown]

Guys, cover me!

*Frizzo grabs his sniper rifle and heads for the roof*

[pixiness]

Moe!!!! Come Back!!!!


:: looks over at Superman and 87 who have started burning literature to make a firewall/baricade from the cops ::

Please, I don't know how to use the fire-estinguisher. Hell, I don't even know if we HAVE a fire extinguisher!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Moe!!!! Come Back!!!!


:: looks over at Superman and 87 who have started burning literature to make a firewall/baricade from the cops ::

Please, I don't know how to use the fire-estinguisher. Hell, I don't even know if we HAVE a fire extinguisher!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Shut up woman, and grab a gun! &lt;Fires at the F.B.I.&gt; Frizzo, the Feds found found the midgets we smuggled in from Mexico!

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>

Shut up woman, and grab a gun! &lt;Fires at the F.B.I.&gt; Frizzo, the Feds found found the midgets we smuggled in from Mexico!</strong><hr></blockquote>*Yelling from roof* Well, I've trained them to know anything...I think' we'll be okay. Can Someone bring me up some more ammo? I'm running out!

[Superman]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>*Yelling from roof* Well, I've trained them to know anything...I think' we'll be okay. Can Someone bring me up some more ammo? I'm running out!</strong><hr></blockquote>

*****, we're low. We'll have to load some of the midgets in a bazooka. &lt;Throws a water balloon bomb filled with syrup&gt;

[pixiness]

Great! Now the FBI are here? Let me see if I can resolve this peacefully.

:: takes a broom stick from the corner and ties her white thong panties to it. Proceeds to the front of the club, and waves the white flag... The shooting stops::

FBI AGENT: Miss, miss are you okay? Is it as bad in there as they say? Did you know if those midgets are rabid?

PIXI: No, i think everyone's okay. I just wanted to see if maybe we could all just...NOW FRIZZO!

:: at that second a giant cannon ball of pixidust launches from the front door of the club, exploding above the heads of all the law enforcement officials in the immediate 6 mile area ::

AGENTS and COPS: What is this stuff? It's great

::agents and cops begin making out with each other. pixi takes their weapons, puts her undies back on and re-enters the club::

Merry Xmas boys... I brought you some government issue weapons.. There's even weapons grade plutonium in one of these suitcases!

[Con-Air]

(door kicks open at the end of the room and Con-Air walks out holding two very large guns and wrapped in ammunition)

Now boys, where were we?

[pixiness]

::the boys hear a knock at the door and immediately open fire... Pixi comes running from the back of the room screaming::


NO!!!!!!! That was the Pizza Man you guys! Now I'm gonna have to pick bullets out of my dinner. Not to mention the poor guy who died delivering pizzas. But it is pretty sweet that i don't have to pay him.

[Frizzo the Clown]

*Frizzo opens pizza box*

What the hell? He forgot the anchovies! Sonuvab*tch!

*Shoots pizzaboy three more times, just on principle*

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
<strong>*Frizzo opens pizza box*

What the hell? He forgot the anchovies! Sonuvab*tch!

*Shoots pizzaboy three more times, just on principle*</strong><hr></blockquote>

*Olorin is lying on the ground, unrecognizable, seeing as his face has been blown off*

.... f-frizz-zzo... you buh-buh-bazztud...

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>

*Olorin is lying on the ground, unrecognizable, seeing as his face has been blown off*

.... f-frizz-zzo... you buh-buh-bazztud...</strong><hr></blockquote>Well, maybe next time you'll remember the anchovies!

[Agent_87]

&lt; 87 crawls out from the dark corner he was in &gt;.........


Mmmmmmmm, Pizza!

[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: Agent_87 ]</p>

[Con-Air]

(out of nowhere 6 ninjas assassins jump out of the shadows)

Looks like somebody paid good money to have us taken out. Frizzo, Superman, 87, Ty Ross, Durden pick a ninja and beat it's ass in!!!

[obi wan jabroni]

http://pics.steakandcheese.com/homersings.gif

[TyRoss]

(TyRoss (just coming back in from mining the FBI escape route) sees a Ninja moving towards Pixi intending to use her as a hostage. Instantly he leaps into action. Just as the assassin reaches out his hand to grab Pixi he finds his hand speared by a knife, thrown by the steady hand of TyRoss, standing by the bar with his adamantium sword drawn.)

TyRoss: "This is one instance where we do prefer gentlemen before ladies"

Ninja: "Die heathen dog!!!"

(The ninja throws three shurukai at TyRoss and then charges in behind them with two sais drawn. TyRoss, unfazed, knocks down the first two shurukai with a sweep of his sword. He then ducks under the third projectile as the ninja leaps towards him, sais ready for the kill. TyRoss rolls backward bringing his feet into the air and planting them into the ninja's chest as he flys over the bouncer. Sending the ninja hurtling across the bar. The ninja flips through the air and manages to put his feet on the wall then somersault down safely to the floor. The two combatants rush each other and meet with a clash of steel, sai on sword. TyRoss flips over the would be killer, trying to confuse his opponent. But the ninja stays with him as he lands. TyRoss' opponent does a flip kick that lands squarely on the jaw, bringing just a drop of blood to the side of TyRoss' mouth. As the ninja lands TyRoss once again charges his foe, but just as it looks like he is about to perform another leap at his antagonist TyRoss instead uses his momentum to fall back and slide across the floor feet first. Ending up between the standing ninja's legs, TyRoss forces his sword up through the pelvic bone of his opponent. Ending the battle.)

TyRoss: "FBI, Ninjas.... whats next vampires??"
(yelling) Anyone else need a hand?

- TyRoss

[Madness]

(Madness leans back in a chair, feet up on a table, cleaning his fingernails with his trusty machete.)

Hmmm, wonder if those guys need any help..........NAH!!.............

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>(out of nowhere 6 ninjas assassins jump out of the shadows)

Looks like somebody paid good money to have us taken out. Frizzo, Superman, 87, Ty Ross, Durden pick a ninja and beat it's ass in!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Looks like I arrived just in time for the fun. Let me go get my box of special toys from my car.

&lt;Tyler walks back in with a duffle bag of bombs over his should. He pulls out the explosive Chinese Stars and starts throwing them at the Ninja&gt;

Come on wussie, hold still. I'm not drunk yet so my aim isn't so good. :D

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by TyRoss:
<strong>(TyRoss (just coming back in from mining the FBI escape route) sees a Ninja moving towards Pixi intending to use her as a hostage. Instantly he leaps into action. Just as the assassin reaches out his hand to grab Pixi he finds his hand speared by a knife, thrown by the steady hand of TyRoss, standing by the bar with his adamantium sword drawn.)

TyRoss: "This is one instance where we do prefer gentlemen before ladies"

Ninja: "Die heathen dog!!!"

(The ninja throws three shurukai at TyRoss and then charges in behind them with two sais drawn. TyRoss, unfazed, knocks down the first two shurukai with a sweep of his sword. He then ducks under the third projectile as the ninja leaps towards him, sais ready for the kill. TyRoss rolls backward bringing his feet into the air and planting them into the ninja's chest as he flys over the bouncer. Sending the ninja hurtling across the bar. The ninja flips through the air and manages to put his feet on the wall then somersault down safely to the floor. The two combatants rush each other and meet with a clash of steel, sai on sword. TyRoss flips over the would be killer, trying to confuse his opponent. But the ninja stays with him as he lands. TyRoss' opponent does a flip kick that lands squarely on the jaw, bringing just a drop of blood to the side of TyRoss' mouth. As the ninja lands TyRoss once again charges his foe, but just as it looks like he is about to perform another leap at his antagonist TyRoss instead uses his momentum to fall back and slide across the floor feet first. Ending up between the standing ninja's legs, TyRoss forces his sword up through the pelvic bone of his opponent. Ending the battle.)

TyRoss: "FBI, Ninjas.... whats next vampires??"
(yelling) Anyone else need a hand?

- TyRoss</strong><hr></blockquote>

Did anyone else hear that Kung Fu Fighting song when reading this? :D

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting, those kids were fast as lightning....

[pixiness]

:: pixi pulls her xmas gift samurai sword out of a dead ninja's eye socket... she is covered with blood, her hair is all mussed up, and one of her wings has a small rip... she walks to the bar, pours herself a large glass of JD on the rocks and gulps it down in one swallow before slamming the glass back down on the bar ::

Who knew literature would have this effect on people? GEEZ!

:: looks down at her hands ::

OH NOW THEY'VE DONE IT!!!! I BROKE TWO FRIGGIN FINGERNAILS!!!!!!!! DIE NINJA, FBI, POLICE, ATF AND VAMPIRE SCUM!!!!

:: charges for the front door with the biggest autmatic weapon she can carry::

[tyler_durden]

&lt;Tyler runs into the bar, looks around for Moe but can't find him. Mixes himself up an Instant Death and runs back out into the melee....&gt;

There, now my throws should be on target...

[pixiness]

I guess this means we stole our liquor license back... I'm glad one of us is systematically pillanging back all our old club fixtures... looks like some of themannequins are back too.

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>I guess this means we stole our liquor license back... I'm glad one of us is systematically pillanging back all our old club fixtures... looks like some of themannequins are back too.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hell ya, did you really think that they could keep it away from us that long. Now we just need to find Moe and get him working in here again. I think most of the feds and ninja are dead, or at least decapitated, so things might actaully quiet down a litte....

&lt;Tyler looks up and sees Madness walking in&gt;

*****, there goes that idea.

[pixiness]

yeah, i'd better go and clean up a bit... nothing turns him on more than someone who's been slicing and dicing human flesh

[Olorin]

Madness and Krueger sitting in a tree!

[tyler_durden]

&lt;Tyler mixes up another Instant Death&gt;

Yeah, if you need me I will be passed out on my face in the broom closet/art gallery.

[pixiness]

well, if i were you I'd knock first... 87's been in there a while, you MIGHT be walking in on something not so PG-rated

[TyRoss]

If everythings getting back to normal shuoldn't someone go rehire Moe?

- Ty

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>well, if i were you I'd knock first... 87's been in there a while, you MIGHT be walking in on something not so PG-rated</strong><hr></blockquote>

Dammit, I guess I'll just have to pass out under the bar again.... :mad:

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by TyRoss:
<strong>If everythings getting back to normal shuoldn't someone go rehire Moe?

- Ty</strong><hr></blockquote>

I tried to find him, but I think he has dissappeared.

[Agent_87]

&lt; 87 enters the bar, which has been literally destroyed from all the fighting &gt;

Hey! ...I opened my own bar amidst all the chaos. But no one showed up! I guess it's true, you can't make a living off other people's misery! ...or can you?

hey? .........You guys need a bartender!?

[Con-Air]

[quote]Originally posted by TyRoss:
<strong>If everythings getting back to normal shuoldn't someone go rehire Moe?

- Ty</strong><hr></blockquote>

I think Moe ran away scared. I caught him stealing midgets and then Frizzo found out about it and now Moe has "dissapeared".

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Con-Air:
<strong>

I think Moe ran away scared. I caught him stealing midgets and then Frizzo found out about it and now Moe has "dissapeared".</strong><hr></blockquote>

I'll dissapear you...uh, I mean can I get a reference?

[Agent_87]

&lt; drops the drinks he was mixing behind the counter...... and darts back on to a bar stool &gt;


Moe!? ...um, 1 Canadian please!

[Moe Szyslak]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>&lt; drops the drinks he was mixing behind the counter...... and darts back on to a bar stool &gt;


Moe!? ...um, 1 Canadian please!</strong><hr></blockquote>

&lt;Moe peaks his head through the door.&gt;

87, what are you doing? I've been waiting over at your new place to interview. Or are you too drunk to remember that you opened your own club?

[Agent_87]

&lt; disappears in a cloud of smoke &gt;

[pixiness]

Okay... I am NOT going to lose business due to competition from across town....So Con-Air, with your permission, I'm moving the bar to Miami... Supermodels, Sex on the Beach, and more are all free to the first.....

1,000,000 customers!!!!

[tyler_durden]

[quote]Originally posted by Agent_87:
<strong>Hey! ...I opened my own bar amidst all the chaos. But no one showed up! I guess it's true, you can't make a living off other people's misery! ...or can you?</strong><hr></blockquote>

Yeah, well I opened my own Bath and Spa. But I am thinking about retiring and shutting it down. Customers don't come back when you rob them blind....

I would stop robbing them, but since it's an EVIL bath and spa, that would kind of defeat the purpose.

[Frizzo the Clown]

[quote]Originally posted by pixiness:
<strong>Okay... I am NOT going to lose business due to competition from across town....So Con-Air, with your permission, I'm moving the bar to Miami... Supermodels, Sex on the Beach, and more are all free to the first.....

1,000,000 customers!!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>YES!
*Frizzo and the midgets start taking numbers*
Looks like we're numbers 1-475! Kick ass!

[slinger]

Ladies. Gentlemen. You've been gathered here since you're the only one's up at this time.
So CS! and SHH!/SMH! have made a truce. And agreed to take on the others in the internet message board world. So what do we do?

[TyRoss]

I would like to say first that this is a very bad idea. We've got a nice little setup here and the reprocussions of waging war on the internet message boards would be absolute chaos. Chaos is better when it's localized into specific threads.

- Ty

[Nilade]

We bide our time and let our forces build. As much as I love the idea of peace between out 2 forums, I still think it will take awhile for us to bond together as strong as we are on our own. It will happen though. For now, I think we should all just relax and smoke this freshly packed peace pipe.

*takes a fat toke*
Next?

[slinger]

[quote]Originally posted by TyRoss:
<strong>I would like to say first that this is a very bad idea. We've got a nice little setup here and the reprocussions of waging war on the internet message boards would be absolute chaos. Chaos is better when it's localized into specific threads.

- Ty</strong><hr></blockquote>

Okay.
Theres coffee, doughnuts, hookers and a replicator over there. Help yourselves.

[Wood]

*pops out of replicator againwithout and pants and clearly has insomnia* Did someone say cocaine? I think someone said cocaine! GIVE ME THE MONEYS!! *falls over in a rush of adrenaline, and doesn't get up for 13 hours*

[slinger]

[quote]Originally posted by Wood:
<strong>*pops out of replicator againwithout and pants and clearly has insomnia* Did someone say cocaine? I think someone said cocaine! GIVE ME THE MONEYS!! *falls over in a rush of adrenaline, and doesn't get up for 13 hours*</strong><hr></blockquote>

Olorin break his hands.

[FonceDieu]

[quote]Originally posted by TyRoss:
<strong>I would like to say first that this is a very bad idea. We've got a nice little setup here and the reprocussions of waging war on the internet message boards would be absolute chaos. Chaos is better when it's localized into specific threads.

- Ty</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hey if everyone uses names that have no conections to the one(s) they normally use and claim to be from some poor fledgling board there will be no reprocussions

[TyRoss]

[quote]Originally posted by Fonce Dieu:
<strong>

Hey if everyone uses names that have no conections to the one(s) they normally use and claim to be from some poor fledgling board there will be no reprocussions</strong><hr></blockquote>

Those who weave a web of lies often trap themselves.

- Ty

[Olorin]

[quote]Originally posted by slinger:
<strong>

Olorin break his hands.</strong><hr></blockquote>

I'm giving it some consideration.

[FonceDieu]

[quote]Originally posted by TyRoss:
<strong>

Those who weave a web of lies often trap themselves.

- Ty</strong><hr></blockquote>

perhaps but i've had many years of practice and have yet to get caught

-Within you all lies a little bit of me that dark little voice that screams SO WHAT IF IT'S WRONG JUST DO IT after all evil just feels so good

[Madness]

[quote]Originally posted by Olorin:
<strong>Madness and Krueger sitting in a tree!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Stop rubbing it in!! That b!tch played me!!!......(sniff)...Even serial killers need lovin'...........

[Kyle Katarn]

&lt;Kyle walks in and shakes off the cold&gt;

So...did I miss anything?

[Agent_87]

POOF!
&lt;87 APPEARS IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE&gt;

Cough... cough! ahhh.... cough!

...this she'it is good, yah'll!

Hey! ...drinks are free at my club, for the next 2 hours! ...see ya there!

POOF!