Tech's Wedding.

[Superman]

Okay well this is an intro to my fanfic dedicated to Tech and his bride to be Carla (Carla has my deepest sympathies, I'm teasing). Tech requested a while back that someone writethis for him and I volunteered along with JBond to write it together. Due to other obligations JBond had to drop out but I included a couple of ideas/scenes that he sent me and I will note which part was his when the time comes.

I had a lot of fun writing this, it was probably the most fun I had writing a fan fic in a while. I tried to include as many people as I could, everyone makes an appearance but necessarily in the first installment. Anyways I had this finished like almost 2 weeks ago but I was waiting for the right time to post it. JBond and Tech have had the previews, but what I'll post is the final version. Every 2 days or so I'll include the next chapter after I have edited and tweaked some of the stuff a bit more. Anyways hope you guys enjoy reading it! The first part will be up in a few minutes.

[Superman]

*Events take place after Disneyland and Godzilla's birthday in Japan.

The wedding takes place at a resort mansion in Mexico. Where did tech get the money? Well from Mirko's royalties from SMH! It's hours before the wedding and everything is being prepped. Everyone from the forums has been invited, or got past the security (Mr. T).

Mr. T: I pity the foo' that tries to get past me!
EmpireOfDust: Yeah well then how come you let 7 people pass you by. <People keep coming in without being checked>
Mr. T: It's these gold chains, the older I get the harder it is to move around. I can't even walk.
EmpireOfDust: <Smiles> Really.... <Grabs one of Mr. T's chains> Whoohoo! <Wears one of the gold chains and runs off>

Inside the mansion is a room full of the members getting dressed and ready, in this particular room are most of the guys.

Con-Air: You know Superman you should really get ready, I mean most of us have taken our showers, shaven and some of us dressed. You haven't even washed up.
Superman: <Sitting in boxers and a white t-shirt eating nachos and watching Sesame Street>
rOb: He's not even listening.
Superman: Hey! I've always wanted to see Sesame Street in Spanish.
Tech: <Nervous> Look I'm counting you guys to help me out here, this is the happiest day for me and Janet.
thebtskink: Carla.
Tech: Right!
thebtskink: Hey we should.... <A noise is heard outside, it's Frizzo arriving>
Frizzo: <Is on a sled being pulled by 20 midgets as they park him> Mush! Mush! Come on I'm not paying you in Chiquita Bananas so you guys can park crooked!
JBond: Oh good he's here, he's got my tux!
Frizzo: <Walks into the room> Special delivery for Bond! Here's your tux!
JBond: Thanks! <Takes it and goes into the bathroom to change>
Tech: Hey thebtskink and rOb, I need you to help me practice my vows for Tara.
thebtskink: Carla.
Tech: Right! Let's go next door. <The three of them leave>

As everyone is getting ready there's a knock on the door, Con-Air opens it. It's Warpedchick, fractal_inversion, and Chicklet.

Warpedchick: Oh good you guys are ready... <Looks over at Superman> Oh for the love of... Your not even ready yet!
Superman: Shhh! They're getting to the good part!
Warpedchick: I'll show you good part! <Turns around to grab a blow dryer to hit Superman with but by the time she turns around to hit him Superman has showered, shaved and gotten dressed>
Superman: <Stands up> Better?
Warpedchick: No. <Hits him with the blow dryer anyway, the group splits them apart>
Con-Air: Hey! That is my blow dryer, I inherited the family company so have some respect!
Keyser Soze: Why don't you two kiss and make up.
Superman: Sorry, I don't kiss out of my spieces.
Warpedchick: What, you think the other gorillas will get jealous.
Superman: At least they smell better.
Warpedchick: Okay that's it! <Takes off her earings and everyone splits them up again>
fractal_inversion: Why don't we leave the boys alone and go help the bride.
Warpedchick: Fine. <The three women leave>

JBond: <Comes out of the bathroom all dressed and ready> Okay all ready, did I miss anything.
dubloth: Just the usual.
JBond: <Looks at Superman's tux> Is it really necessary to have the "S" and a black cape on your tux?
Superman: <Sits back down to watch Sesame Street> Absolutely.
Keyser Soze: Hey Bond, your bow tie is crooked.
JBond: <Proceeds to straighten it but it spins and squirts water at Keyser>;
Keyser Soze: What the hell!?!?
JBond: <Looks confused, he pulls out his gun> Well this looks like my tux, gun feels light though.
dubloth: Take a test shot there. <Points at the corner of the room>
JBond: <Fires the gun but a little flag pops out with the word "BANG!">
EmpireOfDust: Ahahahaha! Imagine if you were in a gun battle and you shot that out, it'd be funny. And you'd probably be dead... <Everyone stares at him>
JBond: This must be Frizzo's tux.
Con-Air: Well if you have his tux then...
JBond: Uh oh... <They look out the window and see Frizzo doing tricks for kids, he pulls out a gun to show them the "BANG!" trick not knowing its a real gun>
Frizzo: So you kids wanna play G.I. Joe huh? Well here goes...<In an instant the gun is replaced with a banana> What the...
Superman: <At super speed grabbed the gun in time> Done and done.
Doomsday: <Comes in the room dressed in a Mr. Peanut out fit with the monacle, cane and top hat> Hey Empire go get Tech for me, some guys are asking about what he wants to do with the midgets in the parking lot. <Everyone stares at Doomsday>
Con-Air: Nice outfit, you look a bit... nutty.
Doomsday: Shut-up! It was the only rental they had left after dubloth set my other one on fire!
dubloth: Hey the fire had to be put out some how!
JBond: Even though you started it by knocking that candle over at the dinner party last night.
Con-Air: And that was only because a drunk Superman and thebtskink were walking around yelling that a carrot was stalking them and pushed dubloth because they were in "pursuit." <Everyone looks at Superman>
Superman: How was I supposed to know wine had alcohol in it!
EmpireOfDust: I'll go get Tech...

[ 08-30-2001: Message edited by: Superman ]

[Superman]

EmpireOfDust walks room to room until he see's an open door hearing rOb's voice.

rOb: And do you take Tech to be your...
Tech: Wait! Tech is not my real name, it's just my user name at the forum!
rOb: What's your real name?
Tech: John.
thebtskink: <Standing next to Tech acting as the bride> We have real names...
Tech: <To rOb> Okay will you just marry us already!
EmpireOfDust: <Standing in the doorway looking scared> Um look if this a bad time I can come back, I didn't realize that the ceremony began. In fact I didn't know you two were dating...
Tech: <To thebtskink> You can let go of my hand now!
thebtskink: Oh right... <Let's go>
Tech: Empire, we were just practicing so I wouldn't screw up my vows with Terry.
thebtskink: Carla.
Tech: Right! <Writes down "Carla" on the palm of his hand> What can I do for you Empire?
EmpireOfDust: Parking lot guys need you outside for a sec.
Tech: Okay. <Tech and Empire leave>
rOb: Hey thebtskink, you wanna go try bullfighting again in front of the mansion!
thebtskink: Hell yeah!

Back at the room where the guys are getting ready.

Con-Air: <Looks out the window> Well looks like Godzilla arrived, and the media followed him. Geez, he thought putting on a pair of sunglasses was a good disguise.
JBond: Here come bbf2 and Madness!
bbf2: <Looking mad>
Madness: Oh come on it wasn't that bad! They can still fix it...
dubloth: What the hell happened.
bbf2: Well I was in the shower and Madness was supposed to pick me up. I didn't answer the doorbell so he drove his car into my house.
Madness: Well he could've been in danger and I was coming to the rescue to help him!
bbf2: Not after my mom answered the door and said I'd be down in a few minutes!
Madness: <Looks around> Well it seemed like the fun thing to do at the time. <High fives dubloth>
Superman: They don't call you Madness for nothing.
Con-Air: And here comes Green Goblin. <They watch outside as Green Goblin lands his glider in a parking spot, it's too tight so he throws a pumpkin bomb blowing a car up to make room>
Madness: Damn Superman, he blew up your car real nice!
Superman: No! That son-of-a-... Wait I didn't even drive here!
Madness: Heh, I was just having fun with you.

Tech: <Outside with Empire as Goblin has blown up the car> ....
EmpireOfDust: You know this would make a great cover picture for your wedding album.
Tech: I don't think... <Looks at the palm of his hand to remember his fiance's name but its been smeared> I don't think Carl would like that.
EmpireOfDust: Carla.
Tech: Right! Listen I have to make a phone call, I'll be back.

Superman: Hey dubloth, we have to go find Doomsday because he's in charge of... <All the sudden loud trumpets are heard as a chariot races through the parking lot. It's Mirko!>
Frizzo: Wow, he uses horses instead of midgets... What a great idea. <Writes down horses also used for pulling and not just for glue>
Mirko: <Steps out of his chariot dressed in emperor type clothing with a crown and flowing cape. As he walks his servants throw rose peddles before him> Make sure they put enough quarters in the parking meters!
Servant: Yes sir.
Mirko: <Turns around and pulls out keys and sets the alarm on his horses>
JBond: Good to see he's keeping a low profile.
Superman: Let's go dub.

Superman and dubloth check all the rooms for Doomsday. Finally they arrive at a room with a pool table as they fool around and break a vase. As they try to hide it someone opens the door so they hide behind the curtains.

Tech: <Talking loudly> No! No alcohol! Some of these guys can get drunk on detergent!
dubloth: <Whispers to Superman> Who the hell is he talking to?
Superman: Can't see, curtains are blocking my view. <Uses X-ray vision> *snickers* There's no one there!
dubloth: <Starts chuckling>
Superman: And I think he's wearing Carla's high heels. <Starts laughing but covers his mouth up>
Tech: No! This is not only my decision but my fiance Grace agrees...
dubloth: <From behind the curtain> Carla!
Superman: <Whispers to dubloth> Dude shut-up!
Tech: <Walking towards curtain>
dubloth: <From behind the curtain> Uh go away! There's no one but us... Curtains!
Superman: And that vase broke by itself!
dubloth: <Turns red from holding his laughter in.> Shut up! <As Tech gets closer dubloth gets more anxious to get out before Tech finds them. As he's trying to escape he gets wrapped in the curtains and falls out the window.>
Superman: Oh *****! <Walks out the window> Dude you okay!?
dubloth: <Wrapped completely in a white curtain laughing his ass off>Yeah!
Warpedchick: <Walks by and see's them>
Superman: Uh I can explain... <Looks at dubloth who looks like a ghost laughing> Actually no I can't explain... <Trying to change the subject> Uh how about a dance!
Warpedchick: Not on your life.
Superman: Ha! We'll see.
Warpedchick: Do you know why I won't give you the time of day?
Superman: Cause you got no watch?
Warpedchick: <Covers her watchless wrist> No its because I don't think much of men who sleep with Paddington bear stuffed....bears!
Superman: <As Warpedchick walks away> Yeah well at least it has less hair than you!
Warpedchick: <Gives Superman the finger as she's walking away>
dubloth: <From under the white curtains he's wrapped in> Who was that?
Superman: Medusa.
dubloth: How the hell did she know I slept with a Paddington Bear?
Superman: She was talking about me.
dubloth: Uh right...Yeah!
Superman: Here let me help you out of the curtains.
dubloth: No! I think I'll have this as my new oufit....

A yell is heard as thebtskink is flying over the mansion and falls and lands next to Superman and dubloth.

thebtskink: Ow...
Superman: The hell happened to you?
thebtskink: Bullfighting with rOb.
dubloth: Looks like the bull won.
thebtskink: Who the hell is that? <Not knowing its dubloth under the curtain> Superman: Nevermind.

[Doomsday]

Once again, I have the leading role!

[Malice]

this rocks!

[thebtskink]

Great, man!!!!

[Con-Air]

Encore, encore.

[Superman]

Part 2
JBond: <Walking around bored he gets to the parking lot and has an idea> Hey all the parking attendents can take a 5 minute break, I'll cover for you guys!
Parking Attendent 1: Cool! Now we can peep in the mansion and watch all the hot girls get dressed!
Parking Attendent 2: Or undressed...
JBond: <Directs all the guests to park but everyone keeps looking at him in a confused way because they're all parking in an odd manner> Come on people I have <Looks at watch> 2 minutes before my time is up!

2 minutes later the parking attendents return and see the horror of a mess that JBond created. He's directed cars to park so it spells out "JBOND."

JBond: Well I think that went well!

A car comes to the parking lot honking its horn loudly, it's Olorin, TheBard, RationalThinker and Link.

Olorin: <Walks out of the car irritated> Bastards...
JBond: What happened?
Olorin: What happened? I'll tell you what happened, I managed to give a ride to the 3 most viciously insane people.
RationalThinker: Ah come on it wasn't that bad.
Olorin: TheBard bought the bride and groom several kegs of German imported beer as a wedding gift. So halfway through our trip they get the bright idea of drinking it. Next thing I know RationalThinker was standing on the hood of my car screaming "I'm King of the World" Titanic style. TheBard was holding him from behind.
TheBard: So? Many people do that, it's a famous movie.
Olorin: Not while the damn car is moving!
JBond: What was Link doing?
Olorin: Taking pictures.
Link: <Smiles> I'm going to make a scrapbook!
Olorin: Oh but that wasn't the end! Then we see Green Goblin on his glider trying to cut us off, he gets pissed and throws his pumpkins!
JBond: Oh man he threw his exploding pumpkin bombs!?
Olorin: No these were real, they were carved in the shape of Carla and Tech's face so I guess he got them mixed up. Now I have pumpkin stains all over the side of my car.
RationalThinker: Look at the bright side.
Olorin: What bright side?
RationalThinker: There's a 56% chance that my barf stains will come out!
Olorin: Anyways they blocked my view and I ran over stuff but we made it.
JBond: Ran over stuff?
Olorin: Yeah and maybe a couple of people, I couldn't tell since my view was blocked.
JBond: Did you stop to see if they were okay?
Olorin: Hell no! We were running late and on a tight schedule!

Olorin, JBond and Link leave together as JBond starts taking notes anticipating a lawsuit.

RationalThinker: Hey Bard, we have all these empty kegs. Is that what your going to give the bride and groom?
TheBard: Of course not, what kind of man do you think I am? Pull them out of the car and we'll find a place to fill them up....

Back at the mansion everything is more hectic as everyone scrambles to get ready.

Tech: Hey Empire! Go see if you can find Carla and tell her its almost time.
EmpireOfDust: You mean Car... Hey you got it right!
Tech: I'm good to go!
EmpireOfDust: <Walks room to room until he finds the bride, with fractal_inversion and WarpedChick>
WarpedChick: <To fractal_iversion> And do you take Carla to be your...
EmpireOfDust: <Interrupts> Oh for the love of...Who is getting married today!? I know its Carla and Tech but is it to each other or are they getting married seperately but at the same time!
fractal_inversion: <Throws her shoe at Empire which gets stuck in the wall like a dart. Empire ducks out> One of these days...
EmpireOfDust: <Ducks back in> Regardless of who gets married today the ceremony starts in a few!
fractal_inversion: <Throws her other shoe>

Back outside to Superman and thebtskink.

thebtskink: Man this wedding is getting me agitated, I get like that when too many people are in one place.
Superman: You must be a joy at family picnics. Here this'll ease you up. <Takes out a paper bag with a bottle in it>
thebtskink: You snuck in alcohol! Awesome!
Superman: Not quite. Mr. T consficated it at the entrance when I came in. It's Kool-Aid in there but it'll have the same effect.

[Link]

Originally posted by Superman:
<STRONG>Part 2
Link: &lt;Smiles&gt; I'm going to make a scrapbook!
</STRONG>

....YAY!

[Madness]

Originally posted by Superman:
<STRONG>JBond: Here come bbf2 and Madness!
bbf2: &lt;Looking mad&gt;
Madness: Oh come on it wasn't that bad! They can still fix it...
dubloth: What the hell happened.
bbf2: Well I was in the shower and Madness was supposed to pick me up. I didn't answer the doorbell so he drove his car into my house.
Madness: Well he could've been in danger and I was coming to the rescue to help him!
bbf2: Not after my mom answered the door and said I'd be down in a few minutes!
Madness: &lt;Looks around&gt; Well it seemed like the fun thing to do at the time. &lt;High fives dubloth&gt;</STRONG>

Call me conceited, but this was my favourite part :D.........................

[thebtskink]

Good stuff man!!!

[Superman]

The ceremony is about to begin and everyone goes outside to get to the church which is next door to the mansion.

rOb: Man I'm going to miss the Sopranos tonight!
dubloth: <Still in the curtains>I feel your pain, maybe the church has cable or something and we can tape it.
rOb: Good idea! <rOb approaches the priest>Excuse me, does this church have a t.v. with cable?
Priest: This is the house of God, not a movie theater!
dubloth: Is that a yes or a no?
Priest: It's in the backroom next to my office, you may have to adjust the satellite on the roof first.
rOb: Right on! <Goes with dubloth on the roof>
Con-Air: <Notices rOb and dubloth on the roof waving and signaling him to look up but he ignores them> I'm just going to pretend I'm not seeing this.
JBond: What the hell are they up to...

Everyone arrives in the church and are seated casually, Mirko arrives with his servants throwing rose peddles before his feet.

rOb: Hey dub, we better hurry, it sounds like they're about to start!
dubloth: <Fixing the satellite> Almost have it...Tony Soprano, here I... <As he adjusts the dish he shocks himself hitting rOb by accident who falls on the weak part of the roof crashing into the church where everyone see's him>
fractal_inversion: Finally a man sent from up above... Oh its just rOb... <sits back down>
Superman: Hi there, glad you could join us.
rOb: <Still lying down> I think I better lie down for a second.
Doomsday: You are lying down.
rOb: Oh God...
Doomsday: I'd choose my words wisely if I were you, don't forget where you are.
rOb: It feels like the House of Pain!
thebtskink: Can we get this mess cleaned and start the ceremony!
dubloth: Not without me! <Jumps from above> Geronimo!

15 minutes later and a $5,000 check later to the priest for the damage to the roof (courtesy of Mirko and the CS! checking account) the ceremony begins. Godzilla being too big to fit inside is looking in the doorway with his eye to see the ceremony, he starts to cry in the middle of the ceremony. Of course being the big guy he is he starts flooding the place with his tears.

Keyser Soze: Oh this can't be good. <As the tears start to rise people stand on their chairs to avoid getting wet.>
Superman: <Still sits in his chair floating above with his arms crossed>
Keyser Soze: You know you could help us!
Superman: "Could" being the key word which means I don't have to.
Keyser Soze: How would you like me to spike your drink with Kryptonite!
Superman: Not again... <Proceeds to freeze Godzilla's tears with his super breath> Better?
Keyser Soze: Much!
Madness: <Looks around and takes Superman's cape and gives it to Godzilla to blow his nose> Here ya go big fella!
Superman: Hey that was mine... <Watches Godzilla viciously blowing his nose> Or was...

Frizzo who has the rings is called upon during the vows to present the rings.

Tech: <Looks at Frizzo> Well?
Frizzo: Hold on its here some where... <Fishes in his pocket and pulls out chattering teeth with blood in them, it's a real set> Sorry that was from my last victim that I use in my acts... <Pulls out a midget who runs off and begins touching the bridesmaid> Hehe, Barry what have I told you about that. <Pulls out seltzer water> hey who's thirsty? <Sprays the whole front row of people> Okay okay, feels liks a ring... Got it! Ooops, felt like a ring but its one of my uh..."balloons," I'm saving that for later tonight... Ah here it is! <Brings out the rings>
Tech: <Shakes his head>

There ceremony concludes and everyone stands up but forget that there's ice because Superman froze Godzilla's tears they all fall down. Tech and Carla strap on ice skates given to them by the priest and ice skate their way out.

Everyone waits outside for the bride to throw the bouqet.

EmpireOfDust: <Wearing a catcher's outfit> Come to poppa baby!

As the bouqet is thrown everyone makes an attempt to catch it.

Superman: <Flies up> Up up and... <Warpedchick grabs him by his cape>Hey!
Warpedchick: That's MY bouqet!
Frizzo: <Pulls out one of his midgets from his pants and throws him in the air like a football to catch it> Come on Harry! Go! <Frizzo misjudging his calculations throws his midget past the bouget and onto one of the dinner tables making a sickening thud>
Keyser Soze: Ohhh! There's going to be a decent sized bruise on his noggin! <Midget gets up and bows and everyone claps>
JBond: <Takes advantage of the situation and catches the bouqet>Whoohoo! 64 failed marriages but 65's the charm!

*The part where Frizzo searches his pocket and finds a "ring" was JBond's idea and the part where he catches the bouquet with his line was his idea. Credit to him. Next part will come in a couple of days.

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by Superman:
<STRONG>
Frizzo who has the rings is called upon during the vows to present the rings.

Tech: &lt;Looks at Frizzo&gt; Well?
Frizzo: Hold on its here some where... &lt;Fishes in his pocket and pulls out chattering teeth with blood in them, it's a real set&gt; Sorry that was from my last victim that I use in my acts... &lt;Pulls out a midget who runs off and begins touching the bridesmaid&gt; Hehe, Barry what have I told you about that. &lt;Pulls out seltzer water&gt; hey who's thirsty? &lt;Sprays the whole front row of people&gt; Okay okay, feels liks a ring... Got it! Ooops, felt like a ring but its one of my uh..."balloons," I'm saving that for later tonight... Ah here it is! &lt;Brings out the rings&gt;
Tech: &lt;Shakes his head&gt;

</STRONG>
Bravo! Bravo! Author! Author! Way to go JBond! Oh, yeah, and the rest of it is pretty good too, Superman.....

[JBond]

How'd you know that was my part?

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by JBond:
<STRONG>How'd you know that was my part?</STRONG>
Becuase Superman said it was....I mean uh..becuase I'm psychic, yeah! Thats it! Psychic!

[fractal_inversion]

fractal_inversion: &lt;Throws her shoe at Empire which gets stuck in the wall like a dart. Empire ducks out&gt; One of these days...
EmpireOfDust: &lt;Ducks back in&gt; Regardless of who gets married today the ceremony starts in a few!
fractal_inversion: &lt;Throws her other shoe&gt;


Cool! Sort of like that Oddjob guy in James Bond. Except I'm not that short......

[Superman]

Outside the dinner party has begun after the wedding as everyone is getting food and talking.

EmpireOfDust: <Talking to a group of girls> Ah yes ladies, I am in Tim Burton's latest feature film.
Girl: What movie?
EmpireOfDust: Willy Wonka!
Girl: Who do you play?
EmpireOfDust: <Has a flashback of his time on the set as he had to wear the Mothra headpiece all day and couldn't get the donut he wanted from catering> I uh...Hey look isn't that Jackie Chan! <Runs away>
Madness: <Starts stuffing food down his pants to take home later> Mmmm, lemon chicken, now that's what I'm talking about!
Superman: Hey save us some!
Madness: Oh fine! <Pulls out a chicken and throws it at Superman>
Superman: That's more like it! <Takes it and starts eating it>
Con-Air: Uh Superman, that wasn't from this wedding, in fact it looks several years old...
Superman: <Wipes his mouth as he finishes eating it> I'm sorry what?
thebtskink: <Looks around and starts giggling>
Frizzo: What the hell are you laughing about?
thebtskink: <Turns around as he's stuffed 2 coconuts in his shirt>
Frizzo: Strangely I'm aroused...
Green Goblin: <Talking to a movie executive> Yes well I have worked with Tom Cruise, I'm one of his agents. Here's my card!
Movie exec: This is just a napkin! With a smiley face and your name! And there's a pizza stain sauce.
Green Goblin: Sorry times have been tough!
bbf2: Hey we better start the music Tech wanted, who has the CD?
Con-Air: Me!

Con-Air and bbf2 proceed to start the music.

Con-Air: <Puts in the CD but its an Adam Sandler one with the goat skit he did, everyone turns around in disgust> Ooops, that was from the bachelor party....
bbf2: That was my CD that was at my house, how did you...
Con-Air: Shhh! Music is startin' <Various love tunes come out>
Doomsday: <Starts weeping>
JBond: <Starts picking on the bouqet>; She's slept with me twice...<Pulls off a peddle> She's slept with me once...
Con-Air: Man this party just got depressing!
bbf2: I'll fix it up! <Runs to the turn tables and starts scratching records> What's up, what's up! This is DJ bbf2 bringing you the latest revamp on your favorite love tunes!
Tech: <Stares in horror and drops his drink as bbf2 turns the party into a club>
bbf2: <Plays "Rollin" by Limp Bizkit>
Frizzo: I really hate that guy!
JBond: I know, I hate Fred Durst too.
Frizzo: I wasn't talking about Fred Durst...
Madness: <Walks up to Tech as he's been turned into a human pretzel, he's walking with his hands> Don't worry about it boss, it's a party!
rOb: What happened to you!?
Madness: <Smiling> Oh I tried to steal Doomsday's egg roll and he grabbed me and turned me into a human pretzel.
rOb: You need help getting out of that?
Madness: No I think I'll go that corner and weep.

Superman: <Now drunk> Hey! Listen up people! I'd like to make a torch to... <To thebtskink who is also drunk> What's their names?
thebtskink: <Whispers the names>
Superman: I'd like to make a torch to Gary and Danny, you two are the greatest pair of boobs to get married. When I first saw Tech I knew Gary was the horse that could make him happy! Here's to you 3...<Vision is blurred> or 4... <Falls off the table and into the fountain>
Olorin: Why was he making a toast to the plants?

[Frizzo the Clown]

Originally posted by Superman:
<STRONG>
bbf2: &lt;Plays "Rollin" by Limp Bizkit&gt;
Frizzo: I really hate that guy!
JBond: I know, I hate Fred Durst too.
Frizzo: I wasn't talking about Fred Durst...
</STRONG>
Ah,theres something about a Fred Durst "hate-joke" that brings a tear to my eye!

[Superman]

The party is almost coming to a close now, of course a curious cafeman starts inspecting the gifts.

cafeman: <Shakes a box and listens> Cheapskates. <Shakes another and it breaks> Sounded expensive. <Shakes another but there's nothing inside> From EmpireOfDust. <Shakes another but something yells "Hey quit it that hurts!"> From Frizzo.
Frizzo: <Walking up to cafeman> Um that's my gift, I gave them a couple of my midgets as a gift. They haven't been fed in 3 days so they're kinda moody.

A group of the posters are discussing what they got the bride and groom.

Superman: I got them an autographed picture of myself. And its signed!
JBond: You know by saying "autographed" that does mean signed so you don't have to say both. And your so thoughtful of giving them a picture of yourself, what would they do without you?
Superman: It has a nice frame!
JBond: You stole it from bbf2's house.
bbf2: <Shoots a dirty look at Superman>
Superman: Okay okay, I'll go and get them something else. Be back in a sec. <Flies off at superspeed>
Con-Air: I got Tech and Carla a pair of "his" and "her" blowdryers made from pure gold. Courtesy of Con-Air hair products.
Doomsday: Solid gold eh? So by next week one of Tech's arms will be strangely muscular.
Keyser Soze: I got them an entertainment center.
Link: Is it legal this time?
Godzilla: Yeah because last time you bought someone an entertainment center the cops raided the place and took it back.
dubloth: Oh come on the cops always raid our place on a weekly basis.
rOb: Yeah and now I have no entertainment center...
Keyser Soze: Heh, sorry rOb.
JBond: <Reads the card from Keyser> "Dear Carla and Tech, congrats on your marriage and I hope you enjoy my gift. If you notice the scrapped off serial number on the entertainment center it's because it got scratched against... I mean filed... The numbers melted (yes that sounds better).
Best regards,
Keyser Soze!

p.s. If the cops come looking for slinger and think he's me just tell them I murdered him!"

<JBond starts paperwork on another lawsuit>
Superman: <Arrives back with a wrapped box that's moving furiousily and a cat going nuts>
WarpedChick: What the hell is that?
Superman: It's a cat, I got them a cat for their birthday.
WarpedChick: Wedding.
thebtskink: Where did you get it from?
Superman: Does it really matter? <Everyones says "Yes!"> I got it from the airport.

10 minutes ago at the airport Jack is picking up his luggage (this is a little joke some of us know about me and Jack's cat) and see's Superman stealing his cat.

Jack: You son-of-a-b*tch not again! <Looks at the luggage claim as PalaceDogg and D-Fence are sitting there> What the hell are you guys doing here?
PalaceDogg: We were waiting to be picked up for Tech's wedding!
Jack: They picked people up almost 5 days ago!


thebtskink: Since when does the airport have a pet sto... No you didn't!
Superman: What?
dubloth: You stole the cat from luggage claim didn't you!?
Superman: So? Do you know how hard it was choosing a stolen gift when I had X-Rayed so many suitcases? By the way Steven Segal is a cross dresser.
JBond: You stole a cat!
Superman: Well I was really reaching over for some nice luggage to give them but by the time I noticed it was too late.
thebtskink: I think he was better off giving the picture of himself.
Frizzo: I got them 2 midgets, there was a sale at "Target" to buy one get one free and I bought them, they do chores and stuff.
Godzilla: "Target" doesn't sell midgets.
Frizzo: Oh this is the carnie version.
Godzilla: I had to ask.
thebtskink: I got them furniture made of worm skin!
WarpedChick: Ewww...
thebtskink: These are imported silk worms dammit, state of the art and custom made for Tech's ass!
Link: I don't want to talk about Tech's ass anymore.
Green Goblin: I had carved two pumpkins in the shape of their faces but I think we all know what happened with that.
Olorin: <Shoots a firey glare at Green Goblin>
TheBard: I got them kegs of imported German beer but drank it on the way here.
RationalThinker: But we filled them back up!
Keyser Soze: With what?
TheBard: One is dish soap...
RationalThinker: The second is shredded leaves...
TheBard: And the third is a "mystery" surprise!
RationalThinker: Its really just mashed potatoes. &lt;Everyone stares at them&gt;
Madness: I got them a his and her strait jacket!
thebtskink: Those were yours when you escaped from the mental instution except you spray painted one pink and call it a "hers."
Doomsday: The pink one wasn't spray painted, it was the blue he spray painted.
Madness: Well they ran out of other colors the last time I was there!
Superman: Hey Empire, what did you get them? Empire? <Looks around and see's him sleeping in the cake> Uh man I guess taking left overs home is out of the question!
Madness: Speak for yourself! <Runs over to the table putting cake in his pockets>

[Psylent]

So, I guess I wasn't invited, heh? :( Or maybe I was there just being quiet? :( :mad:

[Con-Air]

Originally posted by silent_speech:
<STRONG>So, I guess I wasn't invited, heh? :( Or maybe I was there just being quiet? :( :mad:</STRONG>


Ummmmm.... you passed out at the bachelor party.

[bbf2]

LOL! Cool, I'm a DJ.

But . . .

WHY WOULD I HAVE ADAM SANDLER'S CD AT MY HOUSE??? :mad: :D

[Superman]

Originally posted by silent_speech:
<STRONG>So, I guess I wasn't invited, heh? :( Or maybe I was there just being quiet? :( :mad:</STRONG>

Believe it or not I originally had you and aeon-death in that airport scene but I replaced you two because I wasn't sure if you wanted to be in this thing or not. Believe it or not people have been offended in fan fics before. :eek:

[fractal_inversion]

wohhooo! Ive had like two lines!!

[Psylent]

Originally posted by Superman:
<STRONG>

Believe it or not I originally had you and aeon-death in that airport scene but I replaced you two because I wasn't sure if you wanted to be in this thing or not. Believe it or not people have been offended in fan fics before. :eek:</STRONG>Nah, it's cool. Actually I don't care about being here or not, the only reason I posted because I wanted to see how you'll react. ;)
And you have no idea how right you're about me. I think you actually know me more than you think. :D

[Chicklet]

Chicklet :puff puff, "sorry I'm late, What'd I miss?"

[Malice]

Is that all? I thought I heard someone talking about a reception...
heh

[Superman]

Originally posted by mrTECH:
<STRONG>Is that all? I thought I heard someone talking about a reception...
heh</STRONG>

No I have more, just with school being so overwhelming this semester I haven't had time to edit the last section. I have so many fan fics planned and my next will be a Halloween one which is coming soon.

[Superman]

Con-Air: I need a sugar fix man.
Madness: <Offers Con-Air a pocketful of cake>
Con-Air: Uh no thanks, Empire has been sleeping in that.
Madness: His drool is still warm, last chance!
Con-Air: <Notices silent_speech with a "Snickers" bar> Hey silent_speech, where did you get the bar from?
silent_speech: Uh... The candy bar! It's a bar where they serve candy.
Con-Air: They still open?
silent_speech: Nope.
Con-Air: Can I have a bite of your?
silent_speech: Nope.
Con-Air: <Get's mad> Give it to me you son-of-a-b*tch! <starts chasing him>
EmpireOfDust: <Wakes up from sleeping in the cake with parts of the cake still stuck to him including the Carla and John figurines> Wow that was a great nap.
aeon-death: I think it's time we all went home.
Frizzo: I guess it's back to sleeping in thebtskink's garage!
thebtskink: Just tell your midgets to quit posing nude on my stuff in the garage and taking pics.
Frizzo: Hey everyone has to earn a living somehow!
JBond: Yeah, they earn a "small" one.

It's time for the bride and groom to go and as they go into their limo Superman shuts the door for them.

Superman: Hey you kids have fun on your Honeymoon.
Tech: We will.

<As the limo drives off Superman is being dragged along since his cape got stuck in the door.>

JBond: Oh *****...
WarpedChick: You know I noticed he got his cape stuck in the door.
thebtskink: How come you didn't say anything?
WarpedChick: Don't know, he looked like he deserved it.

<Everyone watches as the limo goes still pulling Superman along>

rOb: One down and a bunch of us to go.
Keyser Soze: You think our weddings will be this interesting?
rOb: No, because I'm not inviting any of you after what happened here today!

The end? Nope, only the start!

[Malice]

Moving this to the front cause I liked it!

[bbf2]

Too bad it's dead now that Supes is gone . . .

[Superman]

I just read this whole thing again, I miss writing this stuff!

[Moe Szyslak]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Superman:
<strong>I just read this whole thing again, I miss writing this stuff!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You miss everything. You've been gone forever.

[Iben]

So this is the famous Superman! I guess we can stop having that poll now!

[Soccerman]

Hey, Tech, this is weird...I don't remember the frozen tears or the screwed up parking job at your wedding...was I in the bathroom THAT long?

Supes, this was AWESOME! I daresay it was better than the real thing...as a matter of fact, I think I'm gonna have to talk to Tech about that.

Which brings me to a hypothetical question: How do you deal with Time Nazis? (You know, those church employees who rush the weddings along because they book the **** out of the place and a 2 minute delay means they have to give the deposit back.) Frizzo, do you handle that, or do your midgets? Madness, I'll bet that you have a polite and rational discussion about how unreasonable they are being, don't you? Anyone else wanna weigh in on this? (Trying to get a better feel for personalities in here...)

[Malice]

BUMP!

[Tardumb]

ha...this was great..I loved it

[Malice]

I have to keep this one!

[Frizzo the Clown]

Thats because you're biased. ;)

[Malice]

DUH!

[Superman]

Well I edited this because the < > characters didn't show up anymore. As I was editing I read this again, man that was fun to write. I think a lot of people might not get the inside joke on some of the stuff since it was a different group. Anyway, Tech/Malice maybe we can do a baby shower one for you.