The CS Gang Goes To Hogwarts [Archive] - The ComingSoon.net Boards

Moe Szyslak

02-11-2002, 10:42 PM

Well, I decided to write it...and pretty much didn't use the poll at all. :p

Okay, here are the roles I have assigned so far.

Headmaster:
Mirko

Professor of Potions and Head of Ravenclaw House:
Moe(Me :D )

Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts and Head of Slytherin House:
Frizzo

Professor of Transfiguration and Head of Hufflepuff House:
JBond

Professor of Charms and Head of Gryffindor House:
pixiness

Students to be sorted into the four houses:
Madness
TyRoss
beemanbone
Elizabeth
Hobbit Girl
Rogue
Colorado Cajun
Knerys
bbf2
Superman
Olorin
rOb
Kyle Katarn
slinger
thebtskink
Link

Olorin: Wait a minute, why am I waiting to be sorted? I'm already a wizard.

Moe: Well you aren't in this story, deal with it.

Olorin: Hell, even you're a professor...what's up with that?

Moe: Hey, who's writing the story here?

Olorin: You are I guess...what the? Frizzo's a professor?!!!

Frizzo: What's so hard to believe about that?

Olorin: I'm already a wizard, why aren't I at least a professor?

Frizzo: Maybe it's because you suck as a wizard.

Moe: Quiet Frizzo. It just works better for the story that way Olorin.

Frizzo: Yeah kiddo, looks like I'm gonna be riding you all year in class. Prepare for hell.

Olorin: But why the clown?

Moe: It just works, you'll understand later. The sorting ceremony will take place shortly.

[ 02-12-2002, 12:20 AM: Message edited by: Moe Szyslak ]

Moe Szyslak

02-11-2002, 11:47 PM

<We enter a great chamber with four long tables that lead up to a long table at the end surrounded by adults. A large group of children is lead up towards the front by Professor pixiness. Sitting at the table are the likes of Headmaster Mirko, Professor Moe, Professor Frizzo, and Professor JBond>

pixiness: Okay, when I call your name you will come up to be sorted.

<With that, pixiness brought out a very old hat with the words "Where's the Beef" on the front of it.>

pixiness: Madness!

<A rather disturbed looking child walks up to the front and sits on the stool>

Madness: What the hell are you all staring at?

pixiness: Calm down child, they are waiting to see what house you will join.

Madness: Can I join the Ronald McDonald House?

<Frizzo nearly jumps out of his seat to attack the boy but he is held back by JBond and Moe>

pixiness: No child, you will be sorted into one of four houses. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. Now I will place this hat on your head and it will tell us which house you will join.

Madness: And here I thought I was the crazy one here.

<pixiness places the hat on Madness' head and a tiny tear at on the brim appears to form a mouth>

Hat: My God, are you serious?

pixiness: Just tell us what house.

Hat: Well, if I have to put him someplace then I guess it will be SLYTHERIN!

<Madness throws off the hat and runs out of the room making a sound like an ambulance>

pixiness: My, what an interesting child. TyRoss!

<A taller boy gets up and sits on the stool. The hat is placed on his head>

Hat: RAVENCLAW!

TyRoss: Booya!

<Ah boy in the crowd is brought to attention at this word>

Olorin: Hey! I say Booya!

TyRoss: Sorry...<To himself> Man I hope I'm not in that guys house.

pixiness: beemanbone!

<A boy with really large spiked black hair walks up to the front>

beemanbone: When do we eat?

pixiness: You just ate on the train no more than 2 hours ago.

beemanbone: Has it been that long? I'm hungry!

<pixiness places the hat on the boys head with great difficulty. His large amount of hair makes it very difficult>

Hat: This is simple...GRYFFI....<but the hat stops>

<At that moment a M appears on beemanbone's forehead and he becomes Majin beemanbone>

Hat: I mean SLYTHERIN!

<The now demented looking boy walks past the group of children and pushes over a couple of girls on the way>

pixiness: Uh, Elizabeth!

<A girl in a Japanese Schoolgirl Outfit walks up and sits on the stool>

pixiness: Why didn't you put on your school robes child?

Elizabeth: They just weren't my style. I'm wearing my Sailor Senshi outfit with pride!

pixiness: Well, it is a uniform of sorts.

<The hat is placed on Elizabeth's head>

Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!

pixiness: Hobbit Girl!

<A rather short child appears and walks up to the stool>

pixiness: Oh my child, you are a short one aren't you?

Hobbit Girl: Hey, I'm one of the tallest girls in the Shire.

<pixness places the hat on Hobbit Girl's head>

Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!

pixiness: Rogue!

<A girl with flaming red hair with a white streak walks up to the stool. The most shocking part about this girl is that she's wearing skin-tight green and yellow spandex>

pixiness: Um, you probably want to put on some robes.

Rogue: But my boyfriend said it would be alright.

pixiness: Your boyfriend?

<Rogue points to a boy in the new class. He gives a wave when he realizes that they are talking about him>

pixiness: As much as your boyfriend may like it, I'm afraid you will have to put on the school robes.

Rogue: Okay!

<The hat is placed on Rogue's head>

Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

pixiness: Colorado Cajun!

<The boy who was waving just before was now walking up to the stool>

pixiness: Ah, so you're Rogue's boyfriend.

Colorado Cajun: Uh huh.

pixiness: I hate to hurt your feelings but she will be putting on school robes after the meal.

Colorado Cajun: Damn, I mean...uh, okay.

<pixiness places the hat on Colorado Cajun's head>

Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Colorado Cajun: Alright!!! I get to sleep with my girlfriend!

pixiness: Um, the boys and girls have seperate dormitories.

Colorado Cajun: You've got to be F*ing kidding me.

pixiness: Nice use of vocabulary...5 points from Gryffindor.

Colorado Cajun: Aren't you head of Gryffindor House?

pixiness: Yes, but I don't like foul language. Knerys!

<A girl with a ridged nose walks up and sits on the stool...the hat is placed on her head>

Hat: RAVENCLAW!

pixiness: bbf2!

<A themeless boy walks up and sits on the stool>

Hat: SLYTHERIN!

pixiness: Superman!

<A boy wearing a three-piece suit and glasses walks up>

Superman: Please call me Clark. Clark Kent.

pixiness: Okay Mr. Kent, could you please put the hat on?

<Superman places the hat on his head>

Hat: RAVENCLAW!

pixiness: Olorin!

Olorin: I still don't see why I'm a student.

pixiness: What was that child?

Olorin: Nothing, just put the stupid hat on me and get it over with.

<Olorin removes his tall grey wizarding hat and puts on the "Where's the Beef" hat>

Hat: Bit of a hot head we have here...oh well, GRYFFINDOR!

pixiness: rObix!

rObix: Is it time to drink?

pixiness: Aren't you a little young to be drinking?

rObix: I think I'm a little old to be a virgin, wanna help me out?

pixiness: No! Just put the hat on!

<rObix puts the hat on>

Hat: SLYTHERIN!

pixiness: No surprise there. Uh, Kyle Katarn!

<A boy in full robes walks up and sits down>

pixiness: Well, at least you're wearing the school robes.

Kyle: School robes?

<The hat is quickly put on Kyle's head>

Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!

pixiness: slinger!

slinger: Yeah baby!

pixiness: Why are you wearing a crushed velvet suit?

slinger: I don't know baby. Why are you such a fox?

<pixiness slams the hat down on slinger's head>

Hat: RAVENCLAW!

slinger: So are we gonna shag now or shag later?

pixiness: Well, when you put it that way.

<pixiness pulls out her wand and hits slinger with a full body bind. He hits the ground face first and a pool of blood forms right about where his nose would>

pixiness: Maybe I was a bit rough. Oh well, thebtskink!

<A boy covered in dirt walks up>

pixiness: Why are you so dirty?

thebtskink: I was out searching for worms.

pixiness: Ooookaaay!

<pixiness places the hat on thebtskink's head>

Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!

pixiness: And finally, Link.

<A boy clad in green walks up. He has a sword on his back which is covered by a large shield>

Link: I have come here to search for my lost love. She was taken by a....

<The hat is placed on his head>

Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Link: But I'm searching for my lost love Zelda!

pixiness: And now you're taking classes at a wizarding school. Life's funny that way.

<Mirko stands up to address the new class>

Mirko: Classes will begin shortly, that is all.

Frizzo: Wow, that was totally inspiring.

Moe: Just shut up and eat your pudding.

Frizzo: Make me bartender!

Moe: Hey, in here you will call me potions master....clown!

Frizzo: Bite me doughboy!

[ 02-12-2002, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: Moe Szyslak ]

Olorin

02-11-2002, 11:56 PM

*muttering* Me... a student, I swear that Moe Szyslak will burn for this...

Good work! Very fun-hilarious-ness-a-boom!

Colorado Cajun

02-12-2002, 01:14 AM

Great job Moe you even got my attitude down

TyRoss

02-12-2002, 04:36 AM

Heh this is gonna be good.

Kyle Katarn

02-12-2002, 09:46 AM

I laughed my @$$ off at that...and got some funny looks in the school library, but it was worth it! :D

Elizabeth

02-12-2002, 11:26 AM

This'll prove to be very interesting! One thing though, I'm not a Sailor Scout ... I don't sell cookies or sing Kumbaya. I'm a Sailor Senshi (Soldier!) :D <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> Hee hee hee!

JBond

02-12-2002, 11:27 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
pixiness: And finally, Link.

<A boy clad in green walks up. He has a sword on his back which is covered by a large shield>

Link: I have come here to search for my lost love. She was taken by a....

<The hat is placed on his head>

Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Link: But I'm searching for my lost love Zelda!

pixiness: And now you're taking classes at a wizarding school. Life's funny that way.
<hr /></blockquote>Very nice!

Moe Szyslak

02-12-2002, 11:32 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Elizabeth:
This'll prove to be very interesting! One thing though, I'm not a Sailor Scout ... I don't sell cookies or sing Kumbaya. I'm a Sailor Senshi (Soldier!) :D <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> Hee hee hee!<hr /></blockquote>I'm sorry, I've only seen the American Dub...would it make you feel better if I changed it?

Elizabeth

02-12-2002, 11:38 AM

Sure! :D By the way, I have the three SM movies uncut and subbed, if you wanna see them! Anyway, I'll have to make you some cookies then... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Moe Szyslak

02-12-2002, 11:42 AM

Okay, it's edited...now where are those cookies? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

kryptonian_boy

02-12-2002, 11:59 AM

What the heck...Ok, so do I have to wait to get into the next class?! Man, you sleep in one morning, and everyone leaves you behind! Geez! :mad: :D
Seriously though, terrific start to the story.

Moe Szyslak

02-12-2002, 12:03 PM

Hey, how do you know that you aren't a different character?

Or maybe I forgot people...don't worry though, I'm sure I forgot a lot of other people too. It's hard pleasing everyone. :)

kryptonian_boy

02-12-2002, 12:20 PM

I guess I'll have to audition for the sequel! :p :D

Malice

02-12-2002, 12:40 PM

Where am I in here!?!?!

[ 02-12-2002, 12:40 PM: Message edited by: mrTECH ]

Moe Szyslak

02-12-2002, 12:40 PM

Don't feel bad that I didn't include you...hell, I didn't include anyone that posts over in the Harry Potter forum(well, besides me). I just hope Iben doesn't notice. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Moe Szyslak

02-12-2002, 12:42 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by mrTECH:
Where am I in here!?!?!<hr /></blockquote>Do people have any notions for surpise guests and/or villains. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

I'm not saying you're the villain TECH but I'm also not saying you aren't....or something like that.

[ 02-12-2002, 12:42 PM: Message edited by: Moe Szyslak ]

Malice

02-12-2002, 12:46 PM

Rock I will be a villain!

Moe Szyslak

02-12-2002, 12:49 PM

Now, I never said you were the villain...you think I would give away that much already? Or have I already? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :p

Link

02-12-2002, 02:41 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by JBond:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
pixiness: And finally, Link.

<A boy clad in green walks up. He has a sword on his back which is covered by a large shield>

Link: I have come here to search for my lost love. She was taken by a....

<The hat is placed on his head>

Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Link: But I'm searching for my lost love Zelda!

pixiness: And now you're taking classes at a wizarding school. Life's funny that way.
<hr /></blockquote>Very nice!<hr /></blockquote>Yeah, great job Moe!

Con-Air

02-12-2002, 07:43 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by mrTECH:
Where am I in here!?!?!<hr /></blockquote>Do people have any notions for surpise guests and/or villains. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

I'm not saying you're the villain TECH but I'm also not saying you aren't....or something like that.<hr /></blockquote>You're just covering your bases so that anyone who complains will fell like they were included all along.

Question: How the hell do you remember all the house names?

beemanbone

02-12-2002, 08:07 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
<At that moment a M appears on beemanbone's forehead and he becomes Majin beemanbone><hr /></blockquote>:D This will be interesting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> In fact, I actually go by the name "Majin Bee" in every game I play.

Great story by the way.

[ 02-12-2002, 08:08 PM: Message edited by: beemanbone ]

bbf2

02-12-2002, 08:24 PM

You know, it's funny, I was just reflecting on how much better it is to have no theme than to be in a bunny suit.

Moe Szyslak

02-12-2002, 08:30 PM

So you're saying that you don't want to be in a bunny suit? Damn, now what am I going to do with you?

Elizabeth

02-13-2002, 10:45 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
Okay, it's edited...now where are those cookies? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote><hands Moe a big plate of chocolate chip cookies> Here ya go! Will these work?

Elizabeth

02-13-2002, 10:45 AM

Darn these double posts!! :mad:

[ 02-13-2002, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]

Iben

02-13-2002, 10:58 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
Don't feel bad that I didn't include you...hell, I didn't include anyone that posts over in the Harry Potter forum(well, besides me). I just hope Iben doesn't notice. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>I noticed :mad: :mad: :mad:

Moe Szyslak

02-13-2002, 11:01 AM

I'm sorry, we may be getting a transfer student to Hogwarts...you never know.

Iben

02-13-2002, 11:26 AM

It’s okay, I know you can’t include everyone and since I’m new I really can’t expect to be included. The fact that you thought about not wanting to hurt my feelings, makes it alright. :D

Moe Szyslak

02-13-2002, 03:34 PM

A refresher of the breakdown of houses.

Headmaster: Mirko

GRYFFINDOR:

Head of House:
pixiness

Students:
Olorin
Link
Rogue
Colorado Cajun

SLYTHERIN:

Head of House:
Frizzo

Students:
Madness
Majin beemanbone
bbf2
rOb

RAVENCLAW:

Head of House:
Moe

Students:
TyRoss
Superman
slinger
Knerys

HUFFLEPUFF:

Head of House:
JBond

Students:
Hobbit Girl
Elizabeth
thebtskink
Kyle Katarn

Moe Szyslak

02-13-2002, 04:07 PM

THE FIRST CLASS:

<The students walk into the dungeon expecting it to be cold and dank, but they were mistaken. When they entered the room for their first Potions class they discovered a room with a bar on the side, a pool table, and dart boards. In the center of the room are long tables that the students were obviously supposed to sit at. However, their professor had yet to show up so everyone just sat their talking>

Olorin: So how did you guys sleep last night over in Slytherin bbf2?

bbf2: Well, not surprisingly, Madness screams in his sleep. We finally got some rest when we ductaped his mouth shut. How about you?

Olorin: Well, Cajun kept trying to sneak over to Rogue's room and pixi got really pissed. She ended up putting a locking charm on the door. I had to piss last night but I ended up having to do it out the window. How about you guys over in Ravenclaw?

TyRoss: Well, one time I woke up and I saw Superman floating a few feet over his bed.

Superman: Hey! I said that you should call me Clark.

thebtskink: Oh please, everyone knows you're Superman so you might as well drop it.

Superman: Fine, so how was it over in Hufflepuff?

thebtskink: No complaints from me.

Kyle Katarn: I have a complaint, why must you have a worm farm?

thebtskink: I think the bigger question is how have you lived this long with out one?

<At that moment the door into the room burst open and Moe walked into the class>

Moe: What the hell are you all doing here?

Class: We're here for class, you're teaching it.

Moe: Oh yeah, no I remember...and never patronize me. This is Potions and I'm your professor. You can call me Professor Moe.

Class: Hello Professor Moe.

Moe: Please don't do that, it's really annoying. Well, lets see...what shall we do today?

rOb: Wouldn't making a potion be the obvious choice?

Moe: To an inexperienced person like yourself it would...wouldn't it? No, we will first work on your mixing skills before we start working with actual potions.

<Moe walks over the bar and begins to grab various bottles. He walks over to the various tables and begins to put the bottles on the student's work tables>

Moe: Okay students, today you will be making three different drinks to test your mixing skills. The drinks are a Long Island Iced Tea, a Bloody Mary, and a Kamikaze.

<Olorin's hand shoots up into the air>

Moe: Yes?

Olorin: What if we don't want to participate?

Moe: Then you fail the lesson.

Olorin: But what if I consider this beneath me as a wizard?

Moe: Well, if you were already a wizard then why would you be in school?

<Moe begins to walk over the pool table but he finds that he can't moved. Some outside presence begins to turn him around. At that moment Moe sees that Kyle's hand is raised while his other hand is pointed at him>

Moe: Yes Kyle?

Kyle: Are you going to give us instructions on how to make these drinks?

Moe: Ah yes, instructions.

<Moe takes out his wand and points it towards a blackboard in the corner. The instructions appear there as if by magic. Moe then turns his attention back to the pool table and racks up a game of nine ball>

Link: Why the hell am I making drinks when I should be searching for Zelda?

beemanbone: Listen worm, we don't want to keep hearing about this supposed girlfriend of yours.

thebtskink: Did somebody say worm?

Knerys: Actually beemanbone, I've seen her picture and I think she's a very pretty girl.

slinger: I saw it too, and I would shag her in a second.

<Time passes and about 30 minutes before the class was supposed to end Moe decided it was time to check the student's results. Moe starts by going to Hobbit Girl's>

Moe: Very nice Hobbit Girl, a fine job of mixing.

<He finds that the results are the same for the rest of the Hufflepuff's as well. They have superbly mixed their drinks. He next goes to the Ravenclaw's table and drinks what they have prepared>

Moe: Very goods Ravenclaws, yous do me proud.

TyRoss: Are you okay Professor Moe?

Moe: Oh, I's fine.

<Moe, now stumbling, walks over to the Slytherin's table. He finds that both Madness and rOb appear to be asleep>

Moe: What the hell happened to these two?

bbf2: Well, rOb never mixed the drinks. He just drank the bottles at the beginning and passed out about an hour ago. As for Madness, he took out a needle and injected the booze right into his blood.

Moe: But they wasted the booze! They both receive F's!

<Moe then drinks bbf2's and beemanbone's drinks and is most satisfied. He approaches the last table with great difficulty. Having already consumed 30 drinks he begins to have trouble standing up under his own power>

Rogue: Me and Cajun worked on ours together, is that okay?

Moe: Is fine by me...now where's my drinkie-poo?

<Moe drinks their Kamikaze and Long Island with no problem but nearly dies when he drinks the Bloody Mary>

Moe: Flirking schnit, what did you put in this?

Cajun: I added some special spices from the South to give it a little kick.

<Moe hadn't heard any of this. He had downed all three of Link's drinks while Cajun was explaining and was just starting on Olorin's drinks when he spit it out>

Moe: What the hell is this?

Olorin: A Virgin Bloody Mary.

Moe: You're telling me there's no booze in this?

Olorin: I don't believe in alcohol so all of my drinks are alcohol free.

Moe: Well, I hope you believe in failure.

<Moe then walks up and begins to dance on the bar. He nearly falls over backwards but corrects his balance just in time>

Elizabeth: Professor, you're going to hurt yourself.

Moe: Yeah, I could do a lot of stuff if I just had the money.

Elizabeth: What?

Moe: Time to go drain the lizard.

<Moe then runs through a side door of the classroom>

Superman: Great, our professor is drunk on the first day of class.

Kyle Katarn: Sucks to be in your house I guess, with an Alcie and all.

Moe from the other room: You kids want to see some magic?

<At that moment a stream of yellow liquid flies into the room and forms various designs in the air to the classes amusement. The fluid then falls on Madness and rOb. The class is cheering as Moe walks back in zipping up his fly>

Hobbit Girl: Oh my God, are you telling me that was piss?

Moe: Serves them right for wasting that booze. Class dismissed.

<All of the students quickly rush out of the room except for rOb and Madness. Moe stumbles off towards the Teacher's Lounge>

Malice

02-13-2002, 04:44 PM

Nice going....keep it up

Kyle Katarn

02-13-2002, 04:51 PM

I give it 2 lightsabers up! <img src="http://uv3.homestead.com/files/kyle.gif" alt="" />

[ 02-13-2002, 04:54 PM: Message edited by: Kyle Katarn ]

Link

02-13-2002, 08:13 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Kyle Katarn:
I give it 2 lightsabers up! <img src="http://uv3.homestead.com/files/kyle.gif" alt="" /><hr /></blockquote>THAT WAS ONLY ONE! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> Anyways, keep it up Moe! That was another great part!

Moe Szyslak

02-13-2002, 08:48 PM

I haven't decided if I'm going to have another class next or Moe's adventure in the teachers lounge.

bbf2

02-13-2002, 08:53 PM

Everybody knows Slytherin is the "cool" house.

Frizzo the Clown

02-13-2002, 09:05 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
Everybody knows Slytherin is the "cool" house.<hr /></blockquote>Thats because I'm the head of it!!

TyRoss

02-13-2002, 09:20 PM

Heh my prof is a drunk.. got a feeling I'll get along real well with him.

bbf2

02-13-2002, 09:35 PM

Frizzo the Clown

02-13-2002, 09:39 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
Yeah, and the students kick ass. And in the books they were the evil ones.<hr /></blockquote>For the record, I'm not evil. I'm misunderstood!

bbf2

02-13-2002, 10:04 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
Yeah, and the students kick ass. And in the books they were the evil ones.<hr /></blockquote>For the record, I'm not evil. I'm misunderstood!<hr /></blockquote>WHAT? Well there goes my whole belief system.

Frizzo the Clown

02-13-2002, 10:06 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
WHAT? Well there goes my whole belief system.<hr /></blockquote>Hey now....do you want an "F"?

bbf2

02-13-2002, 10:10 PM

Frizzo the Clown

02-13-2002, 10:12 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
Now you wouldn't fail someone in your own house, would you?<hr /></blockquote>Well, no....but I'm in the mood to flunk someone...

bbf2

02-13-2002, 10:22 PM

Flunk one of those Gryffindors!

beemanbone

02-13-2002, 10:24 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
Flunk one of those Gryffindors!<hr /></blockquote>Yeah, I heard they don't like midgets. :mad:

Frizzo the Clown

02-13-2002, 10:30 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by beemanbone:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
Flunk one of those Gryffindors!<hr /></blockquote>Yeah, I heard they don't like midgets. :mad: <hr /></blockquote>Good idea! I guess it'll have to be Olorin!

beemanbone

02-13-2002, 10:34 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
Good idea! I guess it'll have to be Olorin!<hr /></blockquote>Don't you think that will really hurt his feelings?

bbf2

02-13-2002, 10:37 PM

No, he "doesn't need wizarding school." :mad: We'll show him!

beemanbone

02-13-2002, 10:49 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
 :mad: We'll show him!<hr /></blockquote>I'll punch him in the brain.

bbf2

02-13-2002, 10:54 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by beemanbone:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
 :mad: We'll show him!<hr /></blockquote>I'll punch him in the brain.<hr /></blockquote>Then we'll turn him into Wood! (his brother!) That will turn him insane for sure!

Elizabeth

02-14-2002, 10:22 AM

The part where I told Moe that he would hurt himself sounds EXACTLY like what I would've said! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> This has been good and funny so far!

Moe Szyslak

02-14-2002, 01:51 PM

<Moe stumbles into the teacher's lounge and hits the couch face first>

Frizzo: Where' the booze Moe?

JBond: Yeah, where is it Moe? You know I always have a Vodka Martini before class.

<Moe isn't paying attention to them, he is looking at pixiness>

Moe: Hey baby, wanna see my magic wand?

<Moe then passes into a drunken sleep>

pixiness: Hm, I think I know what happened to your booze guys.

JBond: Does this mean what I think it means?

Frizzo: We're going to have to teach sober!!!

JBond: NOOOOO!!!!

pixiness: Oh calm down boys, I'm sure we can work something out.

<pixiness gets up and walks over to a table and picks up her wand>

pixiness: Accio Booze!!!

<At that moment 20 bottles of various liquors came flying into the room from the hallway>

Frizzo: You are the best.

JBond: Yeah, thank's pixi.

<Frizzo and Bond run out of the room to prepare for their classes. As they are running down the hall they fail to notice a small figure in a darkened corner>

Small Figure in Darkened Corner: Oh, I'll get back what they took from me...mark my words.

<Meanwhile, back in the teachers lounge>

pixiness: Now what am I going to do with you?

Moe: You can start by transfiguring this couch into a bed so I can get some decent sleep.

pixiness: You want to sleep? Fine, be that way!

<pixiness transforms the couch into a racecar bed and leaves the room. Moe half attempts to get up but feels that his stomach is about to evacuate its residents>

Moe: Better not risk it, I'll talk to her later.

_________________________________________________

Author's note: This is just a short story inbetween classes.

Iben

02-14-2002, 02:43 PM

This is really funny stuff Moe, J.K should be shaking in her pants now she has gotten competition!

slinger

02-14-2002, 02:56 PM

Bravo. *clap*clap*

Malice

02-14-2002, 03:00 PM

Keep it comin! I wanna see myself....I mean the bad guy!

Moe Szyslak

02-14-2002, 03:17 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by mrTECH:
Keep it comin! I wanna see myself....I mean the bad guy!<hr /></blockquote>I never said you were the badguy...I just implied that it was a possibility.

Moe Szyslak

02-14-2002, 03:18 PM

I'm surprised that people don't question where 20 bottles of booze comes from in a school. :)

beemanbone

02-14-2002, 03:26 PM

I wonder how they got 20 bottles of booze in the school.

Iben

02-14-2002, 03:39 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
I'm surprised that people don't question where 20 bottles of booze comes from in a school. :) <hr /></blockquote>When do you ever question anything that's going on around here!

beemanbone

02-14-2002, 03:42 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iben M. Mortensen:
When do you ever question anything that's going on around here!<hr /></blockquote>:D It's better not to. The answers can be scary. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

Iben

02-14-2002, 03:48 PM

I guess you just have to accept the madness and go with it :D

bbf2

02-14-2002, 08:27 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iben M. Mortensen:
This is really funny stuff Moe, J.K should be shaking in her pants now she has gotten competition!<hr /></blockquote>Yeah, but if he markets it he gets sued!

Colorado Cajun

02-15-2002, 11:28 AM

Yeah but all he has to do is call up Fat Tony and the legal troubles will vanish :D

bbf2

02-15-2002, 12:21 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Colorado Cajun:
Yeah but all he has to do is call up Fat Tony and the legal troubles will vanish :D <hr /></blockquote>As will JK Rowling. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Hobbit Girl

02-17-2002, 11:54 AM

So far, I am the most boring student in the school. But I guess I mix my drinks well

bbf2

02-17-2002, 11:59 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
So far, I am the most boring student in the school. But I guess I mix my drinks well<hr /></blockquote>Well maybe you'll get in a duel with Moe.

Hobbit Girl

02-18-2002, 12:56 AM

How about a drinking contest with Moe? Now that would be much more fun <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Iben

02-18-2002, 10:10 AM

bbf2

02-18-2002, 11:27 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iben M. Mortensen:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
So far, I am the most boring student in the school. But I guess I mix my drinks well<hr /></blockquote>At least you're in the school! :mad: <hr /></blockquote>Haha, you're wizard home-schooled.

pixiness

02-18-2002, 02:48 PM

I do believe I'm going to have my hands full with Olorin... quite the little Hermione isn't he?

TyRoss

02-18-2002, 02:59 PM

Did you just call Olorin a hormone???

bbf2

02-18-2002, 03:04 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by pixiness:
I do believe I'm going to have my hands full with Olorin... quite the little Hermione isn't he?<hr /></blockquote>I thought Hermione was the smart one.

Hobbit Girl

02-18-2002, 07:27 PM

Knerys

02-19-2002, 12:47 AM

Very nice, Moe. I should come to this forum more often. There some great stuff in here.

Link

02-19-2002, 01:16 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Knerys:
Very nice, Moe. I should come to this forum more often. There some great stuff in here.<hr /></blockquote>Yes..bring all your friends!

thebtskink

02-19-2002, 03:14 PM

i WAS out searching for worms, strangely enough.

Well, really not strange, more of the same for me actually. :D

Moe Szyslak

02-19-2002, 07:06 PM

<The class is waiting outside the room where their next class will be held. They would have walked in but the door was locked and the professor not around.>

Hobbit Girl: Where do you suppose the professor is?

slinger: I have no idea baby, why are you so hot?

Hobbit Girl: Why are you talking with a British accent?

slinger: Does it turn you on?

Hobbit Girl: No, no it doesn't.

slinger: You're no fun, I think I'll go talk with that sailor chick.

<slinger approaches Elizabeth and is immediately slapped in the face. He then moves on to Knerys and has the same results he had with Elizabeth. He is about to move on to Rogue but sees Cajun giving him an evil eye and thingks better of it.>

thebtskink: Hey Kyle, when do you think you're going to pay me back that Galleon I lent you last night.

<Kyle Katarn waves his hand in front thebtskink.>

Kyle: But I already paid you back.

thebtskink: But you already paid me back. So uh, nevermind.

TyRoss: You have to teach me that sometime Kyle.

bbf2: Hey guys, if Frizzo doesn't show within the next five minutes I say we bolt.

Link: Good, then that will give me a chance to search for Princess Zelda.

beemanbone: Hey, you never said she was a Princess. Being the Prince of all Saiya-jins I should have first right to this Zelda.

Link: She is my true love, I will not be able to permit that.

<Link draws his Master Sword and prepares to advance on beemanbone. However, at that moment beemanbone's hair turned gold and his eyes became like emeralds>

beemanbone: Don't make me squash you!

Olorin: Sheesh, am I the only wizard here?

Rest of the students: Shut up!

<Frizzo is seen running down the hall carrying a bundle in his robe>

Frizzo: Sorry I'm late class, needed to procure something for class.

Olorin: Why was the door locked?

Frizzo: I don't want any of you freaks going through my stuff. Now back off while I do my combination.

<Everyone backs off and Frizzo lets them into the room. Superman is sitting outside laughing while the rest of the class walks into the room>

Knerys: What's so funny?

Superman: His combination is 1-2-3-4.

Knerys: How do you know that?

Superman: X-ray vision. By the way, nice teddy bear undies.

<The majority of the class had already taken their seats while Superman man was being chased into the class by a furious Knerys>

Frizzo: Okay class, get up!

Olorin: But we just sat down.

Frizzo: I see that you're going to be one of those problem students. Now everyone get up.

<The class stands>

Frizzo: Now move the desks so the center of the room is clear.

Hobbit Girl: Aren't you supposed to be some kind of wizard? Why can't you do that with a spell?

Frizzo: Oh yeah, um good point short girl.

Hobbit Girl: The name is Hobbit Girl. I'm a halfling and am quite tall for my race.

<Frizzo performs a spell and the desks fly out of the center of the room. A couple of rogue desks nail Madness and rOb in the heads>

bbf2: Damn, this is going to be the second class that they miss.

Frizzo: Damn, I was aiming for that annoying kid.

Olorin: What did you say?

Frizzo: Uh, nothing. Now then, make a circle and I'll be right back.

<Frizzo walks into a side office and comes back wheeling a cart that is draped by a piece of cloth.>

Frizzo: I like to start off every term with a practical lesson. I hope you don't frighten easy.

Rogue: I'm scared, somebody hold me.

<Cajun dives across the room which startles most of the class>

Cajun: Uh, sorry about that.

Frizzo: Now, prepare to face a....

<Frizzo lifts the cloth>

Frizzo: MIDGET!

Olorin: Are you serious? Leave it to a clown to make a joke.

Frizzo: Does anyone else think the desks need to be rearranged again? Well, he may not look intimidating now but just you wait.

<Frizzo sets up about 30 shots in front of the midget. He begins to down them all and starts to get a funny look in his eye. bbf2 is laughing at this>

TyRoss: What's so funny?

bbf2: Look at the bottles closely.

<TyRoss looks at them and notices that they are initialled>

TyRoss: Does that mean what I think it means?

bbf2: Yeah, those are rOb's bottles from his secret stash. He is going to be really pissed when he wakes up.

<The midget begins to stagger into the center of the circle.>

Frizzo: Okay class, it is your objective to catch the midget but not to harm him.

beemanbone: This is no test. I'll do it my self!

<beemanbone approaches the midget but the midget runs up quickly and punches him in his mommy and daddy pills. The class breaks out in laughter...Frizzo's is heard above everyone elses.>

beemanbone: Why you insolent worm, you will pay for that.

<beemanbone raises his hand and flattens his palm.>

beemanbone: Big Bang A...

<Elizabeth runs over and grabs his arm>

Elizabeth: We have to capture him alive remember?

beemanbone: Fine!

<The class now is in pursuit of the midget. Cajun is grabbing erasers, charging them up, and throwing them but has yet to be successful. He decided to stop when he hit Rogue with one of them. Soon the midget ran over to Superman and punched him in the crotch.>

Superman: Ha, Balls of Steel.......was a great pinball game for the computer.

<Hobbit Girl tries to lure him over with mushrooms but when he realized they weren't the special kind he spit them out and went towards his next victim. TyRoss was calmly talking with Knerys when the midget ran over and punched him in the twigs and berries>

Knerys: Uh, are you alright?

TyRoss: Tell everyone to get out of here!

Knerys: Why, what's going on?

<But it was too late. Ty's robes began to rip as his body was growing in size. Soon his skin was green and his head was scrapping the ceiling>

TyRoss: Hulk smash puny person!

Frizzo: Uh, class dismissed...run for your lives!

<The class all leave TyRoss to deal with the midget and run out.>

Hobbit Girl: Wait, what about Madness and rOb.

bbf2: If you want to go back there then by all means do.

Hobbit Girl: Aren't they in your house Professor Frizzo?

Frizzo: Uh, who ees dis Frizzo?

Olorin muttering under his breath: What an idiot.

<The students all head off to their Transfiguration class with Proffesor Bond. Once again, in the shaddows a small creature is seen lurking>

Small creature lurking in the shadows: You all took them from me and I will get them back. Now I just need to go discuss it with my partner.

Link

02-19-2002, 07:17 PM

You're lucky......this time beemanbone...

Good part Moe

Hobbit Girl

02-19-2002, 10:27 PM

Heehee, I was a real chatterbox in that section <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Knerys

02-20-2002, 12:26 AM

Ha Ha Ha! That's great. I can't wait to see what happens.

Hobbit Girl

02-20-2002, 12:54 AM

this is really funny

beemanbone

02-20-2002, 03:52 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Link:
You're lucky......this time beemanbone...<hr /></blockquote>We shall see.

I agree. Really good stuff, Moe. :)

TyRoss

02-20-2002, 08:06 AM

Gee moe you don't think I need to go to transfiguration after turning into the Hulk??? Heh great stuff.

Frizzo the Clown

02-20-2002, 08:18 AM

A clown with a midget? How inventive! Where do you come up with this stuff?

Rogue

02-20-2002, 04:40 PM

This is hilarious! :D

Kyle Katarn

02-20-2002, 08:35 PM

Heh heh heh... :D

bbf2

02-20-2002, 10:44 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
A clown with a midget? How inventive! Where do you come up with this stuff?<hr /></blockquote>He gets all that stuff from his number one inspiration . . . JBond.

Frizzo the Clown

02-20-2002, 10:50 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
A clown with a midget? How inventive! Where do you come up with this stuff?<hr /></blockquote>He gets all that stuff from his number one inspiration . . . JBond.<hr /></blockquote>So, basically, he steals it...

bbf2

02-20-2002, 11:10 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
A clown with a midget? How inventive! Where do you come up with this stuff?<hr /></blockquote>He gets all that stuff from his number one inspiration . . . JBond.<hr /></blockquote>So, basically, he steals it...<hr /></blockquote>Yes, from JBond.

Moe Szyslak

02-20-2002, 11:27 PM

I steal nothing...it was a completely original thought.

bbf2

02-20-2002, 11:57 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
I steal nothing...it was a completely original thought.<hr /></blockquote>Yes . . . a completely original thought FROM JBOND!

Moe Szyslak

02-22-2002, 11:46 AM

<The class walks into JBond's classroom only to find him sipping a Vodka Martini and talking with the nurse>

JBond: What are you all doing here so early?

Olorin: The clown dismissed us early because of a beast that was let loose in his class.

JBond: The midget?

Knerys: It appears that TyRoss has a bit of a dark side.

slinger: Hey, at least you don't have to room with him baby.

Superman: Never fear, for I shall be there to protect you.

bbf2: Hey, if you're such a super hero then why didn't you help out back there?

Superman: I was searching for the contact lens I dropped.

Hobbit Girl: I thought you had super vision.

<Superman uses his heat vision to start thebtskink's robes on fire>

Elizabeth: Fire!!!

<Colorado Cajun grabs JBond's Martini and throws it on the fire. The fire erupts into a blinding blaze and thebtskink's screams of agony soon become very annoying>

beemanbone: I'll put him out of his misery.

Elizabeth: No killing!

beemanbone: Fine, but somebody do something...it's starting to smell.

<Soon a stream of fluid is dousing out the fire from around the corner. The class is only slightly startled now when JBond comes from around the corner zipping up his fly>

JBond: What? No applause? I thought you kids would like to see a little magic.

Kyle Katarn: Well, we would be impressed but Professor Moe already did that spell this morning.

JBond: Damn. At any rate, aren't you missing a few people?

Hobbit Girl: Well, the last we saw TyRoss was ripping up the class room while rObix and Madness were lying unconscious on the floor.

Nurse: Oh my, maybe I should go check on them.

JBond: Okay Iben, will I be seeing you tonight?

Nurse(Iben M. Mortensen): If Mirko, Moe, and Frizzo are all busy then don't be too surprised if you see me.

<Iben heads towards Frizzo's classroom to check on the students>

JBond: Still got it.

Link: Actually, it looks like...<but Olorin stops him from continuing>

JBond: What was that?

Olorin: He was just wondering what we would be doing today.

JBond: Well, maybe we should do a little research. Quick question for the class though, who knows what Transfiguration is?

<Rogue and Olorin's hands shoot up into the air. Rogue reaches over and grabs Olorin's hand. He soon collapses to the floor>

JBond: Yes, skunk girl.

Rogue: Skunk girl?

Colorado Cajun: Sir, you have offended m'lady...I demand satisfaction.

<Cajun finds a glove and it immediately receives a charge>

JBond: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! What is your name child?

Rogue: Everyone just calls me Rogue. And the answer to your question is that Transfiguration is the ability to change objects from one thing to another thing.

JBond: Very good, now with all of this excitement I think a field trip is in order.

Hobbit Girl: We're going on a field trip on the first day?

Elizabeth: Well, it couldn't be much worse than our first two classes.

Hobbit Girl: Good point.

<The class all head out together following Proffesor Bond. They have forgotten Olorin and thebtskink all together. Olorin lies motionless on the floor while thebtskink is slightly charred in a puddle of urine>

JBond: Now, how many of you like to go to the library?

<The class is dead silent>

JBond: Tough crowd. Well, at the library you will find many books that will give you an in depth history of Transfiguration.

Kyle Katarn: Why am I starting to wish that I was either passed out or a big green monster ripping apart a classroom?

bbf2: Funny, I was thinking the same thing.

<The class all enter the library and find that all of the books are gone off of the book shelves>

JBond: We've been robbed!

mrTECH: Who's been robbed?

JBond: Who the hell are you?

mrTECH: I'm mrTECH, I was hired to bring Hogwarts into the 21st century. You can call me TECH Money if you want.

JBond: No, that's alright. Where are all the books?

mrTECH: Books? Get with the times. I've converted everything to CD-ROM's and databases.

JBond: But those books were imbued with magic!

mrTECH: Well, now you have enchanted CD-ROMs.

JBond: They have magic in them?

mrTECH: Um yeah, here take a look.

<mrTECH shows JBond an Imation CD-R with the little hand and wand>

mrTECH: That means that they are magical.

JBond: Good, well can my class take a look at the material?

mrTECH: Not right now, we got a nasty virus this morning and none of the computers are working.

JBond: Well, do you still have the books?

mrTECH: Nah, Headmaster Mirko sold them off to help pay to the conversion to CD-ROM.

JBond: Well, that's just super.

Superman: What?

JBond: Nothing, let's go back the classroom.

<A now very bored class returns to JBond's classroom. JBond goes into a cabinet and takes out many small yellow containers>

JBond: Okay class, for your first lesson you will be working on changing these lumps of nothing into beautiful animals.

Link: You're giving us lumps of Playdough?

JBond: Hey, I don't see anybody working yet. If you don't have an animal in front of you in the next 10 minutes you will receive detention.

<The class all make various animals and JBond is satisfied with them. Nobody notices that the bodies of Olorin and thebtskink have disappeared. The class soon walks out and head up to the Great Hall for lunch...once again, they do not notice a creature watching them>

Weird creature standing on his head: I'm coming for you...for you all. You will pay, you will pay.

Malice

02-22-2002, 12:07 PM

Rock!

Soccerman

02-22-2002, 02:30 PM

Hey, TECH, if you are project manager, then Moe forgot the part about the network being unsecured and attacked by hackers, the project being overbudget, you being the lowest bidder so the PCs are 486's, and the techno-babble. The very fact that you were available to answer questions from the user was pretty far-fetched to me...!

Hobbit Girl

02-22-2002, 02:32 PM

Funnier and funnier

Iben

02-22-2002, 03:35 PM

Woohooo I'm in!

TyRoss

02-22-2002, 06:21 PM

Another triumph.

Colorado Cajun

02-22-2002, 06:54 PM

Great job Moe keep it going

thebtskink

02-22-2002, 07:10 PM

I died.... when?

Hobbit Girl

02-22-2002, 08:45 PM

I want a quidditch tournament

Link

02-22-2002, 11:17 PM

Another great installment..

Iben

02-22-2002, 11:41 PM

I want someone to get hurt so I can take care of them <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :D

Knerys

02-23-2002, 12:53 AM

Very entrtaining!

Rogue

02-23-2002, 12:52 PM

Great job!

Hobbit Girl

02-23-2002, 02:42 PM

QuiDDITCH! QuiDDITCH! QuiDDITCH!

Moe Szyslak

02-23-2002, 04:46 PM

I'm sorry, but I would not be able to write a believable Quidditch match. You'll just have to learn to live without it Hobbit Girl.

Moe Szyslak

02-23-2002, 05:26 PM

<The group of kids all enter the Great Hall for their lunch>

Hobbit Girl: This school sucks.

Elizabeth: What do you mean?

Hobbit Girl: We've had three classes and the only magic we've seen is our professor's ability to control their piss.

Elizabeth: Good point. Hey, we still have Charms left to do so maybe it will pick up.

Hobbit Girl: I hope so. If it's anything like the last 3 then I'm going back to the Shire.

Link: When do we get any free time?

Knerys: Free time?

Link: You know, time away from class. Time where we can search around the castle for loved ones.

beemanbone: Yes, I want you to find my future wife.

Link: I'm getting really sick of this "Prince of all Saiya-jins" thing bee. I have pointy ears! I have a fairy helper named Navi!

Navi: Did you call me?

Link: No! Go away! <muttering to himself> Annoying little fairy.

bbf2: Hey, didn't that girl at Lon Lon Ranch call you fairy boy?

Link: I am not a fairy! I'm not even a Kochiri! I'm a Hyrulian!

Superman: Then why did she call you fairy boy?

Kyle Katarn: Yeah, what would have gave her that impression?

Superman: I always wondered about you and Ganondorf.

Kyle Katarn: Good one!

<Superman and Kyle high five each other>

Link: You guys suck.

<The group is now sitting at the table awaiting their food.>

Elizabeth: Excuse me, I have to go use the ladies room. Are you coming?

slinger: So you want to shag in the bathroom? Kinky!

Elizabeth: Not you, you idiot. I was talking to the girls.

<Elizabeth, Hobbit Girl, Knerys, and Rogue all head out of the Great Hall>

bbf2: Why do they always go to the bathroom in packs? And what's wrong with you?

Colorado Cajun: I already miss Rogue.

Superman: Hey, I haven't seen Lois in almost a week now. How do I know that she doesn't need saving?

Link: Hey, at least there's the possibility that Lois is safe. I know that Zelda is being held captive and there is nothing that I can do about it.

beemanbone: Yes, I need you to find her so that she can become my mate.

Link: Stop talking about my Love!

<Link jumps out of his chair and so does beemanbone>

beemanbone: At last, some fun!

bbf2: Fight! Fight!

<Link takes out his shield and Master Sword while beemanbone charges up into Super Saiya-jin level 2>

beemanbone: I'm finishing this once and for all.

<beemanbone puts his in front of him and spreads his fingers>

beemanbone: FINAL FLASH!!!

<A large energy blast leaves beemanbone's hands and heads towards Link. Link barely has enough time to raise his shield. Much to everyone's surprise the energy blast from beemanbone's Final Flash attack reflects of Link's shield and hits beemanbone. beemanbone falls to the ground charred and smoking>

Colorado Cajun: Is he still alive?

bbf2: I think so. What kind of a shield is that Link?

Link: It's the Mirror Shield. I just picked it up in a temple a few days before coming here.

Superman: It's starting to smell, let's get out of here. I've kind of lost my appetite.

Kyle Katarn: Yeah, me too.

Colorado Cajun: So, do you guys want to go the bathroom?

<Everyone else just sits there and stairs at Cajun>

bbf2: Are you joking or serious?

Colorado Cajun: Oh, I was uh joking.

bbf2: How about we go sneak and see what the girls are up to?

Link: Do you Slytherins have no honor?

bbf2: So, is that a no?

Link: What? Uh, no. I just felt that I should say it for some reason, being a Gryffindor and all. Let's go.

<The guys all head out of the Great Hall in search of the girls. They leave an unconscious beemanbone on the floor, assuming that Nurse Iben would eventually find him. In a reocurring theme, a creature is once again not noticed by the kids>

Creature lifting beemanbone's wallet: This is starting to help but it still doesn't replace what they took from me. I will get it back.

Frizzo the Clown

02-23-2002, 05:34 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iben M. Mortensen:
I want someone to get hurt so I can take care of them <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :D <hr /></blockquote>I think I pulled my groin trying to escape from Hulk/TyRoss! :D <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Link

02-23-2002, 05:54 PM

Hah good part Moe! Beeman look on the bright side, you still have Iben.

slinger

02-23-2002, 06:38 PM

I'm the pathetic horny kid. good work.

Hobbit Girl

02-23-2002, 06:39 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
Hobbit Girl: We've had three classes and the only magic we've seen is our professor's ability to control their piss.
<hr /></blockquote>I would never say that word. it is vulgar. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Iben

02-24-2002, 06:30 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iben M. Mortensen:
I want someone to get hurt so I can take care of them <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :D <hr /></blockquote>I think I pulled my groin trying to escape from Hulk/TyRoss! :D <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>Okay I'll see what I can do about that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :D :rolleyes:

Frizzo the Clown

02-24-2002, 06:32 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iben M. Mortensen:
Okay I'll see what I can do about that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :D :rolleyes: <hr /></blockquote>Oh, goodie!

TyRoss

02-24-2002, 07:02 AM

Say whaddaya know I think I might have pulled my groin while becoming the Hulk. Weird coincidence eh. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> Oh and this is great Moe.

Elizabeth

02-25-2002, 07:39 AM

If you come to spy on us in the bathroom, be warned of my secret identity as SailorSaturn! *with an evil chuckle, holds up her Silence Glaive* Don't force me to use this...

pixiness

02-25-2002, 12:26 PM

Wow, I keep a low profile... Don't I? I guess that's a good thing. It means I can catch up on beauty sleep

Malice

02-25-2002, 01:33 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Soccerman:
Hey, TECH, if you are project manager, then Moe forgot the part about the network being unsecured and attacked by hackers, the project being overbudget, you being the lowest bidder so the PCs are 486's, and the techno-babble. The very fact that you were available to answer questions from the user was pretty far-fetched to me...!<hr /></blockquote>Dweeb!

beemanbone

02-25-2002, 01:41 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Link:
Beeman look on the bright side, you still have Iben.<hr /></blockquote>You're damn right I do! :p

Hobbit Girl

02-25-2002, 05:02 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
I'm sorry, but I would not be able to write a believable Quidditch match. You'll just have to learn to live without it Hobbit Girl.<hr /></blockquote>BOOOOOOOO!

Moe Szyslak

03-02-2002, 11:05 PM

<The guys are now heading towards the girl's bathroom to do a little covert operation.>

Kyle Katarn: Do we really want to see the girls peeing?

Superman: You idiot! Girls don't actually go to the bathroom when they go to the bathroom.

Kyle Katarn: Silly me. So what exactly do they do oh wise one?

slinger: They talk about guys baby!

Kyle Katarn: Did you just call me baby?

slinger: Did I say that out loud? Sorry, the unfreezing process is having some after effects.

<The guys are now standing outside of the bathroom.>

bbf2: So, should we just go in?

Superman: I could use my x-ray vision if you want.

Link: Hey, there's a sign next to the bathroom. I'll see what it says.

Navi: Hey, listen! It says that it's the girl’s bathroom.

Colorado Cajun: Wow, that fairy is a real genius.

Navi: Hey, listen! Don't make me kick your ass.

Link: That's enough Navi...go away.

Navi: Hey, listen! You never gave me a chance after Zelda came along.

Link: You're a little small for me.

slinger: That's not what I heard baby!

<The rest of the guys go into a fit of laughter that draws the girl's attention. They soon exit the bathroom.>

Elizabeth: What are you guys doing out here?

Superman: Uh, we just came to pick you up on the way to charms.

Kyle Katarn: Yeah, you girls ready?

Rogue: As we'll ever be.

Hobbit Girl: Yeah, let's go. I want to actually learn some magic sometime today.

<The group heads off to pixiness' class, their final class of the day.>

Knerys: I'm a little scared. She seemed so strict when we were being sorted.

slinger: Hey baby, at least you didn't end up with a broken nose.

Superman: Hey, how did your nose heal so quickly?

slinger: Nurse Iben wanted me out of the hospital wing quickly for some reason.

Rogue: Surprise surprise.

<The group soon arrives at pixiness’ classroom and finds that it is open.>

bbf2: About time one of these teachers is ready for us.

pixiness: Hello class, please take your seats.

slinger: I'll take your seat anywhere you want.

pixiness: Ah, it's you again. Was that a lame attempt at a pickup line?

slinger: There's nothing lame about me baby.

pixiness: Let me tell you something Mr. slinger, today is not a good day to be a man!

Superman: Oh *****!

Link: This can't possibly be good.

pixiness: Hey, you men back there better keep your mouths shut.

Hobbit Girl: This could be more fun then I even imagined.

pixiness: Okay, who's ready to learn some charms?

Hobbit Girl: I am!

<At that moment the door of the classroom bursts open. A wobbly Moe is seen standing there.>

Hobbit Girl: Dammit! I'm never going to learn any magic.

Moe Szyslak: Baby, I'm sorry. I was inconsiderate.

Superman: What did you do Professor Moe?

Moe Szyslak: I chose sleeping by myself over sleeping with her.

slinger: You stupid twit!

pixiness: Moe, I will not have you discussing our personal lives with the class!

Moe Szyslak: I'm sorry!

pixiness: Are you drunk again?

Moe Szyslak: A little.

pixiness: Okay class, I have to dismiss you now.

Knerys: But, we still have hours of nothing to do. Can't you find anything for us to do?

<pixiness takes a rubber ball out of her pocket and whispers a few words over it with her wand. The ball shoots out of her hand, past Moe, and down the hallway.>

pixiness: Okay, the first person to catch that ball gets a free augmentation charm performed on them?

Colorado Cajun: Augmentation charm?

pixiness: I'll change a person's body part to however they want it.

<Everyone in the class immediately runs out of the room, trampling Moe in the process.>

pixiness: I'm going to make you pay for what you did to me earlier.

Moe Szyslak: Hey, not too rough. I'm fragile.

<The door closes behind them and is magically locked. A small figure peers into the lock.>

Small figure: Soon I will have my revenge. Ooh, that looked painful. Why is he smiling?

[ 03-03-2002, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: Moe Szyslak ]

Knerys

03-03-2002, 01:15 AM

Very funny Moe, but you wrote it twice. :confused:

TyRoss

03-03-2002, 08:24 AM

I bet that has something to do with the plot if I know Moe. Excellent stuff.

Colorado Cajun

03-03-2002, 10:39 AM

Great stuff yet again Moe

Moe Szyslak

03-03-2002, 11:24 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Knerys:
Very funny Moe, but you wrote it twice. :confused: <hr /></blockquote>Woops...gimme a sec.

Hobbit Girl

03-03-2002, 12:26 PM

Aren't we ever going to learn magic? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Moe Szyslak

03-03-2002, 12:34 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
Aren't we ever going to learn magic? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>At this rate I'm starting to wonder that myself.

Knerys

03-03-2002, 11:26 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
Aren't we ever going to learn magic? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>At this rate I'm starting to wonder that myself.<hr /></blockquote>That's never a good sign.

pixiness

03-05-2002, 09:58 AM

well, there are SOME things i could teach people, but um, well, a few of you are a little young, and you see, uh, pixidust being given to minors for personal, eroti.. um.. special use is kinda definitely strictly prohibited.

::nervously giggles and leaves the room::

Agent_87

03-05-2002, 02:09 PM

POOF!...

< 87 appears in a cloud of smoke >

Hey!...

Iben

03-05-2002, 02:39 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by pixiness:
well, there are SOME things i could teach people, but um, well, a few of you are a little young, and you see, uh, pixidust being given to minors for personal, eroti.. um.. special use is kinda definitely strictly prohibited.

::nervously giggles and leaves the room::<hr /></blockquote>What kind of teacher are you anyway? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :p

pixiness

03-05-2002, 02:47 PM

I'm a very responsible teacher... I'm NOT teaching you those things... Those are very advanced placement classes and require a permission slip from your parents or significant others, plus you must have a partner to practice with who has all the proper paperwork submitted as well.

If Moe hadn't interrupted our class, I'm sure I would have taught you all something... Now, who's going to be first to catch that ball?

Iben

03-05-2002, 03:00 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I'm a very responsible teacher... <hr /></blockquote>Sure.... :rolleyes: :D

[ 03-05-2002, 03:00 PM: Message edited by: Iben ]

slinger

03-05-2002, 03:30 PM

I am lame.

Moe Szyslak

03-05-2002, 04:07 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by slinger:
I am lame.<hr /></blockquote>I'm pretty sure that there is nothing lame about you....at least that's what I think I wrote.

bbf2

03-05-2002, 05:36 PM

Sure has been a long time! Sort of like the gap between the fourth and fifth Harry Potter books . . .

Moe Szyslak

03-06-2002, 08:32 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
Sure has been a long time! Sort of like the gap between the fourth and fifth Harry Potter books . . .<hr /></blockquote>I updated on Sunday...sorry if it isn't to your satisfaction.

bbf2

03-06-2002, 10:07 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Moe Szyslak:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
Sure has been a long time! Sort of like the gap between the fourth and fifth Harry Potter books . . .<hr /></blockquote>I updated on Sunday...sorry if it isn't to your satisfaction.<hr /></blockquote>Really? I just saw so many replies...

Frizzo the Clown

03-07-2002, 06:11 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iben:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by pixiness:
well, there are SOME things i could teach people, but um, well, a few of you are a little young, and you see, uh, pixidust being given to minors for personal, eroti.. um.. special use is kinda definitely strictly prohibited.

::nervously giggles and leaves the room::<hr /></blockquote>What kind of teacher are you anyway? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :p <hr /></blockquote>A very good tecaher!! :D

pixiness

03-07-2002, 09:04 AM

Thank you for your faculty endorsement!

Hobbit Girl

03-07-2002, 10:47 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
A very good tecaher!! :D <hr /></blockquote>Tecaher? Thank God, we aren't learning spelling at Hogwart's. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

pixiness

03-08-2002, 09:57 AM

Well, I suppose I'd have to be the grammar and spelling instructor... I mean it helps to be sober (which I think we've all seen, I might be the only one of the faculty who is) :D

bbf2

03-08-2002, 11:58 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by pixiness:
Well, I suppose I'd have to be the grammar and spelling instructor... I mean it helps to be sober (which I think we've all seen, I might be the only one of the faculty who is) :D <hr /></blockquote>But it's so much fun to learn grammar from a drunk!

Elizabeth

03-09-2002, 01:44 AM

This has been good so far... keep it coming!

Nilade

03-09-2002, 04:19 AM

Geesh! I don't post for 2 weeks and already I'm expelled from Hogwarts! Do you at least have a janitor's position open?

Hobbit Girl

03-09-2002, 06:53 PM

I would like more to this story, please.

beemanbone

03-09-2002, 07:43 PM

Yeah hurry up, Moe! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Moe Szyslak

03-09-2002, 08:48 PM

Gimme a few days...next update will either be Tuesday or Wednesday.

Hobbit Girl

03-09-2002, 09:25 PM

No, that will not do. Today please <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

kryptonian_boy

03-10-2002, 10:11 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
No, that will not do. Today please <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>What's the hurry? It's not like you'll be learning magic anytime soon in here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Hobbit Girl

03-10-2002, 01:16 PM

Because I don't like to wait. I am not a patient little hobbit

Hobbit Girl

03-11-2002, 10:56 PM

:mad: <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" />

JBond

03-11-2002, 11:06 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
Because I don't like to wait. I am not a patient little hobbit<hr /></blockquote> <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
 :mad: :(<hr /></blockquote>I guess not <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Moe Szyslak

03-12-2002, 12:00 AM

Damn people, give me some time. I wonder what's going to happen when I'm gone for over week.

Iben

03-12-2002, 12:12 AM

This place'll go straight to hell.....straight to hell I tell you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> :D

Moe Szyslak

03-13-2002, 04:50 PM

Well, I never got around to updating this. Looks like the next update won't be for a while.

Rogue

03-13-2002, 08:34 PM

We'll be patient.

Hobbit Girl

03-15-2002, 11:55 AM

I won't be <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Colorado Cajun

03-15-2002, 12:04 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
I won't be <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>HEHE what else is knew :p <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Hobbit Girl

03-15-2002, 02:06 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Colorado Cajun:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
I won't be <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>HEHE what else is knew :p <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>I'm sorry, Mr. Cajun, for making, a joke. It won't happen again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Colorado Cajun

03-17-2002, 05:29 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Colorado Cajun:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Hobbit Girl:
I won't be <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>HEHE what else is knew :p <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>I'm sorry, Mr. Cajun, for making, a joke. It won't happen again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>awww but I like your jokes Hobbit

Hobbit Girl

03-18-2002, 02:29 PM

Thank you, Mr. Cajun. You are the only one.

Soccerman

03-18-2002, 03:35 PM

Come on, Hobbit Girl, I may not write about it, but I like your jokes, too! :)

Hobbit Girl

03-18-2002, 06:39 PM

Thank you too, Mr. Soccerman

JBond

03-18-2002, 09:39 PM

Same here

Hobbit Girl

03-19-2002, 12:26 PM

See. Jbond thanks you too, Mr. Soccerman <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Iben

03-25-2002, 02:46 PM

I guess this is the last of CS goes to Hogwarts!

Tardumb

03-25-2002, 06:59 PM

wow, I just read all of it and it's really funny and cool...then I realized Moe is gone now so you're right Iben, I guess that's the last of it... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" />

Knerys

03-25-2002, 07:08 PM

Some one could try to finish it. Just a thouhgt

Tardumb

03-25-2002, 07:13 PM

but who? he did such a good job I think anyone would be worried they wouldn't match up to it

Elizabeth

04-17-2002, 07:41 AM

I'm guessing this will never be finished, unless somebody else does it.

Knerys

04-18-2002, 01:30 AM

Is there anyone who would want to try to conintue it?

pixiness

04-26-2002, 11:48 AM

:: The students are all walking to their respective dorms when suddenly they hear a horrible wailing.::

VOICE: Ooooooh the horror…. The paaaaaaaain…. Whyyyyyyyyy did I dooooooooo it? Why oh why oh why?

Madness: Did anyone else hear that or is it time for my meds?

Slinger: (to knerys, rogue, Elizabeth and hobbit girl) Better watch out girls, he’s hearing things. (to madness) what do the voices say? We’re supposed to defile the women? (shrugs shoulders) Okay! (heads for Rogue but slams right into Cajun).

Cajun: Nice try. We all heard that.

VOICE: I’m soooooooooorry…. So veeeerrrrrry, very sooooooorry….

:: A grayish mist starts to fill the hallway and the gang finds themselves face to face with the ghost of Moe.::

Kyle: Holy crap! When did you die?

Ghost of Moe: Sooome Creeeeature was fooooollowing meee. It was piiiiiiiiiiiixiiii’s
ex…

Beemanbone: (interrupting) Could you PLEASE stop talking like that? It’s really annoying!

Link: I second the motion!

Superman: Since when do you two agree about anything?

Elizabeth: Um hello? Who cares that B and Link agree on something? We’ve got a dead-professor over here!

Link: I second the motion!

ROb: (to Link) You don’t honestly think that’s funny do you?

Hobbit Girl: Male-us Silencium Entiritus!

:: Everyone is rendered unable to speak except Hobbit Girl, Elizabeth, Knerys and Rogue (and of course, the ghost of Moe who is immune to human charms).::

Rogue: That was cool! Where’d you learn that?

Hobbit Girl: Pixi taught it to me. She said it frequently comes in handy here with the high male to female ratio.

Knerys: Where was I when that lesson was being taught?

Hobbit Girl: Oh, it wasn’t a lesson. I caught that enchanted ball she threw. And rather than change anything about myself, I asked her to teach me a cool charm instead.

:: Unable to speak the guys all start punching each other or scratching themselves.::

Elizabeth: (looks at guys and rolls her eyes) Well, I guess she was right.

Rogue: They’re so silly.

Ghost of Moe: AHEM!! I’m dead over here!!!

Elizabeth: Sorry... Go on professor Moe. You were saying?

Ghost of Moe: Pixiiiiiii’s houuuuuuse-elf…

Knerys: Bee was right. That’s SUPREMELY annoying. Could you knock it off?

Ghost of Moe: Fine. I was just trying to get into this whole ghost thing, but forget it. I was killed by pixi’s ex-house elf.

Elizabeth: EX house-elf?

Ghost of Moe: Yeah, I convinced her it was wrong to keep house-elves so she set him free.

Rogue: Seems to me that would make him happy

Ghost of Moe: Actually, Pixi was always really nice to Tinker. He loved living with her. So when I convinced her to get rid of him, I guess I kind of sort of ruined his life in a way.

Hobbit Girl: So he killed you?

Ghost of Moe: Yup.

:: The girls all politely wait for Moe to finish. But he just floats there, saying nothing,
Then he starts to scratch his butt. ::

Knerys: OKAY! I can definitely do without butt scratching! I’m outta here!

Rogue, Elizabeth and Hobbit Girl: Me too!

:: The students all walk together to their dorms. All the while, the guys are still fascinated with silently screaming. Madness is pretending to be a mime caught in a strong wind. ::

Girls: (all huddled together whispering)

Rogue: Good idea!

Hobbit Girl: Shhhhh!

Elizabeth: (giggles)

Knerys: This is gonna be great!

:: All at once, the girls run way ahead of the guys, getting to the dorms first. They say the passwords and go to their rooms. The guys, without use of their voices are trapped out in the halls because they can’t anything. ::

Anybody want more???

Elizabeth

04-26-2002, 12:47 PM

Yeah! Bring it on, pixi!! :D

Rogue

04-26-2002, 01:32 PM

Yes, pixi! Please continue!

Iben

04-26-2002, 03:48 PM

And so the saga continues... very good Pixi. :D

Colorado Cajun

04-26-2002, 10:24 PM

I agree Pixi you did a great job picking it up

Knerys

05-01-2002, 01:10 AM

More, definitely more. That was perfect.

pixiness

05-01-2002, 11:54 AM

::: Out in the hall, Olorin picks some dust up off the floor, rubs it in his hands, throws it in the air, and then spins around in a circle underneath it. :::

Olorin: Well now, that’s much better. (jeers at guys, who are STILL punching each other). See you morons later (walks away toward the Gryffindor common room) I swear I am SO wasting my time in their basic level courses.

Pixiness: Oh really?

Olorin: Um, I didn’t see you there.

Pixiness: I suppose it would be difficult to see past your own ego, but if you truly think you’re “above” general level classes…

Olorin: (very excited) Yes……

Pixiness: and since technically you’re already a wizard…

Olorin: Yes…..

Pixiness: And because it’d really tweak Frizzo’s melon….

Olorin: Oh god! Please! (falls to his knees) If it’ll piss Frizzo off you HAVE TO LET ME DO WHATEVER IT IS!!!!

Pixiness: Well… I was going to suggest you TEMPORARILY fill the empty position as potions professor.

Olorin: SCORE!!! (under his breath) Oh, man Frizzo, you’re gonna PAY and PAY big funny man… How ‘bout a little burning hemorrhoid potion poured into your morning coffee? (LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

Pixiness: Not so fast – You’ve got to get one more faculty endorsement… My advice is not to try and get Frizzo’s. Now if you’ll excuse me I think I see some students that need to have points deducted for being out in the halls past curfew.

Olorin: But I’M out past curfew…

Pixiness: Ah, yes. I almost forgot. (pulls out her wand and taps Olorin’s hand. In it appears a golden hall pass) Now that you’re ALMOST faculty, there’s a few rules you don’t have to obey anymore. (winks) See ya.

Olorin: Oh man, this is great! Me, with no rules. This is gonna be awesome! (runs laughing and screaming down the hall, waving the pass around like a lunatic as he goes)

::: Pixiness sees the boys, still trapped out in the hall, but now they’re all throwing dirt in the air or at each other, trying to copy Olorin :::

Pixiness: What’s going on here?

Boys: (mumbling)

Pixiness: Oh, I see. SILENCIUM REVERSIOSIS!

Cajun: Thank ya kindly, miss Pixi ma’am.

Pixiness: Wow, you boys are a mess… just look at you… (starts to get a naughty grin) First one to find their way to the castle Jacuzzi gets a free bubble bath with me… (flitters off)

Madness: Hell Ya! See you losers later… (takes off running, but in the opposite direction of where Pixi went)

ROb: I’d go, but you know she’s probably all jerkin our chains… faculty can’t “fraternize” with students.

Frizzo: Who’s fraternizing!?!

Beemanbone: Where the f—k did you come from?

Frizzo: Wherever there is depravity, I’ll be there. Whenever there are naughty plans afoot, you’ll find me. Wherever…

JBond: Never mind him… he’s been drinking again. Got into my good vodka this time. Mind telling me why you’re all out in the hall?

Kyle: The girls trapped us out here.

JBond: So, you’re breaking curfew AND you were bested by a bunch of girls? I’ve got a good mind to ban the lot of you. Haven’t I taught you anything?

btskink: Technically, NO. I think the only ones that have learned anything are the girls, and that’s ‘cuz Pixi gives them private lessons.

JBond: How dare you insult me! That’s it… You’re ….. (waves his wand and splashes his martini in skink’s face) ….. BANNED! (Skinky disappears)

Frizzo: (still drunk) Whenever someone… Hey where the heck’d that little lizard dude go?

ROb: With my luck, he probably got transported to the faculty Jacuzzi

JBond and Frizzo: THERE’S NO FACULTY JACUZZI! (then they look at each other and their eyes pop open with realization)

Frizzo: (whispering to JBond) Pixi’s room?

JBond: (also whispering) I’ll bring the booze.

Frizzo: Um… you students are free to go, um with a point from each of your houses for everyone that’s out here except people in my house.

Slinger: Fascist!

Frizzo: Or, 20 points from slinger’s house

(Superman punches slinger in the stomach)

Superman: Nice job!

JBond: Get back in your dorms… and do it now… I mean it. Frizzo, let’s go!

::: all the students go back to their respective common rooms. Kyle walks into the Hufflepuff Common Room and Elizabeth and Hobbit Girl are waiting there with candy :::

Hobbit Girl and Elizabeth: We weren’t trying to be mean… no hard feelings?

Kyle: Nah, it’s cool.

Elizabeth: Where’s skinky?

Kyle: Good question…

Colorado Cajun

05-01-2002, 12:41 PM

Yeat another great installment Pixi

Frizzo the Clown

05-01-2002, 04:09 PM

Good job, pix....at least I was in this one this time!

Rogue

05-01-2002, 08:52 PM

Great job pixi, keep it coming!

Knerys

05-01-2002, 11:55 PM

Very funny.

[ 05-01-2002, 11:56 PM: Message edited by: Knerys ]

JBond

05-02-2002, 12:00 AM

Very nice, I liked the Frizzo ranting!

Elizabeth

05-05-2002, 12:50 AM

Keep it coming!

Kyle Katarn

05-05-2002, 09:37 PM

Buyin' me off with candy, eh?!

...ooo...is it chocolate??? :D

Malice

05-06-2002, 12:20 PM

I want more TECH stuff!

beemanbone

05-06-2002, 01:42 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Malice:
I want more TECH stuff!<hr /></blockquote>Who is this "TECH" you speak of, Malice? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

pixiness

05-20-2002, 04:14 PM

Next installment more TECH stuff... I Promise... But hopefully this will hold you all over until then....

----------------------------

The next day in charms class, the students are trying to put stupidity charms on each-other…

Rogue: Professor Pixi! Why aren’t our charms working?

Pixi: Well, you have to try them on people who are smart to begin with. There’s only so far that stupid can go.

ROb: I beg to differ!

Pixi: Well I suppose to be fair, I should let you boys know that Professor Frizzo put idiot curses on you your first day so that you wouldn’t be able to pick up any of the women here.

Link: I don’t care about the women here. I’m looking for Zelda! Someone’s put me in the wrong castle. Where the hell am I? Who are you people?!?!

Beemanbone: (rolls his eyes) Thank you for proving her point.

(Cajun raises his hand)
Pixi: Yes Cajun?

Cajun: Did you and Professor JBond and Professor Frizzo have a Jacuzzi love fest last night? I heard splashing coming from the Gryffindor tower.

Pixi: (blushes) Oh… I was (noticeably flustered) um I was transfiguring my curtains into waterfalls. It always helps to keep your magical skills in shape.

bbf2: (to slinger) Yeah SURE that was it… curtains into waterfalls… Of course!

Slinger: I’d share a waterfall with her ANYTIME.

Pixi: (who’s standing right next to them) ahem! Just for that… You two get special detention.

Slinger: Ha. Everyone knows that none of the professors here give tough detentions. And you’re certainly not going to do it, because we’d like that too much.

Pixi: Oh I think you’ll be most Unpleasantly surprised. Report to the top room behind the Ravenclaw banner in the main hall. Anytime will be fine. He’s not teaching classes yet… I think detention will be a nice way for him to warm up.

After leaving Pixi’s class, a large flying lizard drops a scroll at their feet.

Elizabeth: What does it say?

Hobbit Girl: I’m a little more interested in who has a flying lizard. I don’t remember those being on the list of approved animals.

Beemanbone: Probably belongs to Madness.

Madness: No thank you I don’t eat lizard.

Superman: He wasn’t talking about lunch braniac!

Madness: I’d love brains for lunch. Who’s are we eating? Are they still in the shell? Cracking the shell is my favorite part! (starts banging his head against the wall)
Superman: I’m gonna say that the lizard ISN’T his.

Cajun: Speaking of lizard, have any of you seen Olorin today? He’s not the type to miss class.

rOb: Little goody-goody, brown-nosing punk!

Madness: (while still banging his head on the wall) Yeah. I love PUNK! And Hardcore! Oooh! And Sarah Maclachlan

Everyone stares in stunned silence.

Madness: What? She’s a hottie! (starts banging his crotch against the wall instead of his head)

Superman: Hmmmm. That’s something he’ll probably regret in the morning.

The lizard starts circling around their heads, frustrated that they haven’t read the parchment yet. A few of the students swat at it and continue ignoring it while they chat about Madness and other topics. Finally the angry lizard spits a huge amount of worms at them.

Elizabeth: Ew! Gross!

Kyle: Wait you guys. I think he’s trying to tell us something.

Rogue: What? That we have worms?

Kyle: (coming to a sudden realization) Skink! Is that you?

The lizard hovers in front of kyle and nods its head

Kyle: Holy Crap! What’d JBond do to you?

Skinky goes and picks up the parchment scroll and puts it in Kyle’s hands. Kyle reads it aloud to the group.

Kyle: It’s from JBond and Frizzo. It says we’re to follow our ex-fellow-classmate the btskink to a special joint class. It also says if we’re late we may suffer a fate worse than skink’s.

Hobbit Girl: Oh my gosh! We’ve only got 45 seconds and we don’t even know where we’re going.

Superman: Well, I can fly there probably about as fast as skink can. Which of you lovely ladies would like a lift? (thinks this over for a second) What am I saying? I’ll take all three of you!

The girls all wrap themselves around Superman, ready for take-off.

Rob: I hate it when he does this.

Beemanbone: Me too.

Link: Me three!

Cajun: Me most!

Kyle: Lead on skink! We’ll follow. (under his breath to slinger) Didn’t you say you knew how to apparate?

Slinger: SHHHH! Not so loud! I’m not supposed to know how. It’s one of the advantages to having a drunk Moe as head of your house before he got himself ghosted. Wait until they’re out of sight. Then we’ll just go back to where this paper came from.

Kyle: You think that will work?

Slinger: Trust me. What could go wrong?

--------------------------------

pixiness

05-20-2002, 04:16 PM

Enjoy the new installment everyone. And P.S. I could use some more students... Anyone who's interested just put what house you'd like to be in. Okay? Thanks

Knerys

05-20-2002, 04:20 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by pixiness:
Madness: (while still banging his head on the wall) Yeah. I love PUNK! And Hardcore! Oooh! And Sarah Maclachlan

Everyone stares in stunned silence.

Madness: What? She’s a hottie! (starts banging his crotch against the wall instead of his head)<hr /></blockquote>LOL!!!

Very nice pixi! Keep it up.

Frizzo the Clown

05-20-2002, 04:22 PM

Great installment, pixi! I particually like the part about the jacuzzi love fest..alothough, could leave Jibbs out of that part next time? Thanks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Rogue

05-20-2002, 04:39 PM

Great job pixi! :)

Colorado Cajun

05-20-2002, 07:31 PM

Yeah Pixi very well done

Tardumb

05-20-2002, 08:19 PM

I'd love to join...and any house would be fine!

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Madness: What? She’s a hottie! (starts banging his crotch against the wall instead of his head) <hr /></blockquote>and THAT...was hilarious! :D

pixiness

05-21-2002, 01:39 PM

Any other students.... I'm still accepting applications...

Chambers

05-21-2002, 03:31 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by pixiness:
Any other students.... I'm still accepting applications...<hr /></blockquote>I am here, so you may use me every way you like to. :p

kryptonian_boy

05-22-2002, 03:57 PM

There was a sister school of Hogwarts on my home planet, but some idiot did a spell wrong, and blew up the planet!
Are you taking long-distance transfer students?

HeadHunter

05-22-2002, 04:17 PM

why do i get missed from these things......oh well

Elizabeth

05-23-2002, 12:49 AM

Keep it up! Hee hee hee....

pixiness

06-19-2002, 03:45 PM

NEW ADDITION:

bbf2 runs up to slinger

bbf2: Dude! We’re supposed to report to detention. We can’t just go apparating anywhere.

slinger: don’t be such a wussy. Pixi’ll never know if we went to detention or not.

Kyle: I’ve got a bad feeling about all this.

Olorin appears in a flash of lightning

Kyle: Man, I hate it when I’m right.

Olorin: So, what have we here?

bbf2: nothing, nothing at all… (quietly to slinger) Come on man, you KNOW he’ll just run and tell a professor

Olorin: Now why would I do that?

slinger: because it’s encoded in your DNA to do so?

Olorin: You’re gonna regret you said that.

slinger: (getting in Olorin’s face) Oh reeeeealllly. I highly doubt it.
Just then Pixi walks out into the hall.

Pixi: I see you three have met our newest professor… How nice of you to join them Kyle.

Kyle, bbf2 and slinger: WHAT?!!! THIS SUCKS!

Pixi: Hey, I don’t make the rules… Oh, wait! Yes I do. See you four later.

Olorin: Well, you’ll see me, I’m not sure if you’ll see these three for a very long time.

Pixi: whatever you decide is fine. We could all do with a little more discipline around here.

Meanwhile, the rest of the class has found their way to Professor Bond and Frizzo’s class.

Frizzo: Glad you all could make it. (throws the btskink a worm)

JBond: First off, we’ve got some new students. And since there was an unfortunate incident of someone puking in the sorting hat…

Everyone: MOE!

JBond: anyway, since the hat is um, out of commission, we’re gonna let the newbies roam around with whoever they want and then we’ll put it to a campus vote which house they belong in.

Hobbit Girl: sounds good to me. And fair. Fair is good. I like fair.

Madness: goody goody…………. Wanna get naked?

Hobbit Girl: (rolls her eyes) ugh.

Madness: hey it’s either with you now, or with your picture in my bathroom later.

Cajun: Do you need me to rearrange his face a bit?

Elizabeth: that won’t be necessary… go ahead Rogue…

Rogue: Enflamatium Crotchitosis!
Madness’s groin catches on fire, his pants burst into flame… He runs out of the room

Link: can we please get on with this? I’m supposed to be fighting in a forest somewhere.

Frizzo: okay, okay, okay…. OKAY! This is Tardumb, Chambers, kryptonianboy and headhunter… everyone play nice… And GO!

Everyone stands around looking generally confused.

beemanbone: Aren’t you forgetting something?

Frizzo: Oh. Duh! Fires a gun, shooting Knerys in the stomach.

Knerys: OUCH!

Frizzo: relax, it’s just a viagra bullet. You’ll be thanking me later… I promise.

Superman: Okay, with that, I’m leaving. (turns to the new kids) Come with me if you want to live.

A nervous 4 students follow Superman until he jumps out of the window and flies off, laughing at them standing there helpless at the window. Everyone begins filing out of the room when the btskink returns suddenly to human form.

rOb: How’d that happen, WHO did that?

btskink: I did it.

rOb: You?

btskink: yes, me…

beemanbone: Now THIS I gotta hear. Spill it! As he says this, JBond’s martini drops to the floor.

JBond: This brings me to our second point. There seems to be a magical weather front that’s been moving through for awhile, and it’s strengthening powers you may not have discovered yet.

Frizzo: Normally, you’d discover these powers on your own eventually as you learned more skills, but with the front going through, some of you may discover these powers by accident.

Elizabeth: Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

rOb: are you kidding? sounds pretty f-ing cool to me.

JBond: ( pouring himself another martini) Trust me, everything will be fine. Try and use any new powers you discover.

beemanbone: This still doesn’t explain what happened to skink.

btskink: Remember when JBond threw his martini at me? When he banned me?

they all nod

btskink: well, I was banished all right, up to the top of Ravenclaw tower.

Rogue: and then what happened?

btskink: well I discovered I was kind of sticking to the roof shingles. And then I looked and saw I had transformed.

Frizzo: skinky here found out he was an animagus – he can take animal form. Normally, it would have been a couple years before he found this out, but thanks to the front, when skink here panicked at being banned, his natural defense mechanism to transform took over.

Headhunter: so you can turn into a lizard? Cool.

Tardumb: Do we have special powers too?

rOb: well seeing as how you haven’t had even the slightest bit of magical training, I doubt it.

TyRoss: well if you want to get technical, WE haven’t had any real magical training either.

rOb: good point

btskink: I AM NOT A LIZARD! I happen to be a very rare breed of Brazilian miniature dragon.

Link: Whatever… Can we go now?

JBond and Frizzo: Yeah, sure go ahead… but be careful with any new powers. Especially you beemanbone.

Everyone leaves, beemanbone stays behind

beemanbone: So what’s my power?

JBond: (holding his martini tightly) You couldn’t tell?

beemanbone: I wouldn’t be asking you if I could.

JBond: You’re an activator. Anything you say with enough feeling and focus will happen. Like when you said ‘Spill it’ my drink spilled. So be careful.

beemanbone: Oh this is SOOOOOO Awesome!!! I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me.

Out of nowhere, Olorin’s evil, crazed, power-hungry, maniacal laugh echoes through the castle.

On the other side of the castle –
Kyle: I KNEW this was gonna turn out bad for me.