CS! WrestleMania!!! [Archive] - The ComingSoon.net Boards

Kyle Katarn

02-04-2002, 04:38 PM

<After a massive pyrotechnics show, cut to Tech and Madness at the announce table!>

TECH: Welcome to the biggest extravaganza in Sports Entertainment! This is WRESTLEMANIA!!!

Madness: Hey, I just heard that Commissioner JBond has a major announcement about the main event! That's the Undisputed Championship title shot against slinger that Agent 87 earned!

<enter commissioner JBond, who climbs into the ring...>

JBond: All right, I regret to inform you that slinger is not feeling well this evening. Therefore he has requested that tonight's main event be a NON-TITLE match!

Crowd: WHAT???

JBond: Don't start that again you filthy gits! It's only out of the goodness of slinger's heart that he will participate in the match at all! Why, you vultures would just love to see the real living legend lose to that wretched Rattlesnake wouldn’t you?!

Crowd: Hell yeah! :D

JBond: Bloody savages! I need a drink...<tosses the microphone down and heads backstage muttering "I hope that Szyslak toerag bothered to show up tonight"...>

Madness: Well, if the guy ain't feeling well...

TECH: That's not fair!!! 87 EARNED that title shot! What kind of screwjob is this?!

Madness: Ahh, keep yer shirt on. We still have plenty of great matches on hand!

TECH: True. There's Con-Air vs. Kyle Katarn, beemanbone vs. TyRoss...and there are rumors that Superman is going to return tonight as well!

Madness: And you KNOW that 87 ain't gonna take this layin' down! All in all, I think it could be a wild night!

Malice

02-05-2002, 02:12 PM

I wanna see more!

slinger

02-05-2002, 03:01 PM

The thing is I wasn't a heel in the previous story, now I am. But let's see more.

Kyle Katarn

02-06-2002, 10:05 AM

<Backstage, JBond finds Moe and Rogue working...>

Moe: What can I do for ya commish? Bud, Miller, Red Dog?

JBond: I want a medium dry vodka martini please.

Moe: ...riiight. <makes the drink>

<JBond takes a sip, then immediately spits it out!>

JBond: D’you call THIS abomination a drink?!

Moe: This ain’t the club ritz pal! What do you want, sissy pants? How about a strawberry daiquiri?

JBond: NOW you’ve done it!!! No one insults my refined taste in drinks! <He hurls the martini at Moe, but Moe ducks. He wasn’t aware that Rogue was right behind him, and she takes the drink to the face!>

JBond and Moe: ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

<Rogue is momentarily speechless, then she curses JBond and breaks a bottle of Bud Ice over his head!>

JBond: <obviously dazed, he slowly picks himself up off the floor...> All right sunshine! You can be by ringside when I destroy your boss in the match I just put him in! Moe, it’ll take more than a tart with some cheap booze to stop me!>

<Bond turns and almost collides with a man in sunglasses, a trenchcoat, and...a fedora?>

Trenchcoat man: Mr. Commissioner – I am a reporter, and I would like your thoughts on the backlash of your screwing the valiant Agent 87 out of his hard-earned Undisputed Championship match with the villainous slinger!

JBond: <incredulous> Valiant?! Villainous?! Young man, I think you should spend less time reading superhero comics and more time studying journalism...or at least get a bloody shave, man! <JBond walks off, muttering rude comments about "Ugly Americans" as he does>

Trenchcoat man: <To Rogue and Moe> Pardon me, citizens – can you direct me to the nearest phone booth?

<Rogue and Moe are still incensed by JBond’s behavior, and they absently point the way for the mysterious stranger. He starts down the hall they point to, then stops and stares at the still fuming JBond. He lowers his sunglasses to get a better view, revealing glowing red eyes...and wondering aloud, "What's up wit dat?!">

Colorado Cajun

02-06-2002, 07:06 PM

Great job Kyle keep it coming

Moe Szyslak

02-06-2002, 07:26 PM

Ooh, I'm in a match...goodie. :D

Kyle Katarn

02-06-2002, 09:01 PM

<JBond comes out to the ring – still in his Armani suit, and waits for Moe. Moe comes out in sweats, looking nervous. An equally nervous looking Rouge accompanies him to ringside as the match begins!>

JBond: Don’t worry sunshine, I promise not to make it last any longer than necessary to teach you a lesson...<Bond puts Moe in an armlock...but Moe reverses and flips Bond halfway across the ring! Bond gets up with a shocked look, and Moe spears him into the corner and waves Rogue in the ring! He then gets on all fours in front of JBond and Rogue runs up, jumps on Moe’s back, and vaults up and splashes Bond!>

TECH: Poetry in Motion!!! I think someone forgot to mention to Jibbs that Matt, Jeff, and Lita have been teaching Moe and Rogue how to wrestle!

<Rogue puts JBond to the canvas with the Twist of Fate! With Bond down, Moe climbs to the to rope and launches the Swanton Bomb! It connects, but Moe falls out if the ring, holding his head in agony...JBond rises and smiles, massaging his fist – and BRASS KNUCKLES!!! The ref calls for the bell, but Bond goes outside and starts pummeling an unconscious Moe with the knucks! Rouge runs up and jumps on JBond’s shoulders. But Bond backs up and smashes her into the turnbuckle!!!>

Madness: HEY!!! We need some help out here!

<JBond picks up a semi conscious Rogue by the collar and ****s his fist back, when the lights go out...and Creole music starts pumping from the speakers>

TECH: Look! It’s the Colorado Cajun!!!

Madness: That loon who thinks he’s Gambit? What’s up with that?!

<CC swaggers down to the ring with his staff in one hand and a bunch of cards in the other. JBond drops Rogue and stares at the flashy Cajun..>

CC: Someone need to teach you some manners, Mon Ami!

JBond: Is it Halloween already? What’s with that ridiculous getup? Do you think you’re a superhero or something? Huh? Just look at you! D’you think you can bluff me with this act???

CC: <staring calmly at JBond> See...my daddy always taught me when to bluff...and when to just lay de cards down, like so...

<Colorado Cajun smiles at JBond...then charges up the cards and uses them to blast JBond into the air! Jibbs lands on the Spanish announcers table, reducing it to toothpicks!!!>

TECH: Whoa!!! Looks like he does have superpowers after all!!!!

<CC picks up the dazed Rogue and puts her over his shoulder. He then fires a grappling hook from his staff into the rafters, and the crowd goes wild as they soar up! Meanwhile, Moe has recovered and is unsure what to think as he sees Colorado Cajun leave with Rogue...he starts walking to the back.>

JBond: ughhh…what hit me?! <suddenly a fan jumps the barrier and starts kicking JBond in the ribs!!! Security pulls him off!>

Madness: Throw that piece of trash out!

TECH: That’s no ordinary piece of trash – its GOODGONEWORSE!!! What the heck is he doing here?! He’s been BANNED!

Madness: Apparently he wasn’t informed! <Security hauls goodgoneworse away...>

Moe Szyslak

02-06-2002, 10:08 PM

Damn, I was pummeled with brass knuckles...at least I got my swanton bomb in.

bbf2

02-06-2002, 11:56 PM

What exactly is the difference between this and your last CS wrestling thread?

Frizzo the Clown

02-07-2002, 07:41 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
What exactly is the difference between this and your last CS wrestling thread?<hr /></blockquote>This is Wrestlemania! Geez...... :rolleyes:

Colorado Cajun

02-07-2002, 09:11 AM

Yeah it's Wrestlemania and I'm in this one

bbf2

02-07-2002, 09:12 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Frizzo the Clown:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
What exactly is the difference between this and your last CS wrestling thread?<hr /></blockquote>This is Wrestlemania! Geez...... :rolleyes: <hr /></blockquote>How is Wrestlemania different from Smackdown?

Kyle Katarn

02-07-2002, 10:24 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
How is Wrestlemania different from Smackdown?<hr /></blockquote>Not a big wrestling fan are you? Don't worry, you still get a part! :D

Or if you are talking about the fanfics, not the shows.....then wait and see... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

[ 02-07-2002, 10:25 AM: Message edited by: Kyle Katarn ]

bbf2

02-07-2002, 08:28 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Kyle Katarn:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
How is Wrestlemania different from Smackdown?<hr /></blockquote>Not a big wrestling fan are you? Don't worry, you still get a part! :D

Or if you are talking about the fanfics, not the shows.....then wait and see... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>I hope I don't get KOed within a minute again!

Kyle Katarn

02-07-2002, 09:49 PM

<Backstage, kryptonian boy is interviewing Mirko about the appearance of goodgoneworse...>

kb: Mr. Mirko, thank you for the interview. I understand that this may not be an isolated event?

Mirko: Well, kryptonian boy, let’s not jump to conclusions just yet. However, there is a possibility that there are some more, shall we say, disgruntled CS personnel in the vicinity.

kb: Wow. But in that case, don’t you think we should be somewhere more secure?

Mirko: Nonsense: Frizzo here is my bodyguard for this evening <cut to Frizzo, who is pacing the hall with a large rubber chicken slung over his shoulder...> and no one has the grapefruits to mess with me!

Kb: With all due respect, a goodgoneworse had the grapefruits to mess with a JBond tonight! What are you doing about this?

Mirko: Well, I am having some questioning done. <motions to a line of people in front of a closed door> I’m not pointing any fingers, I just want to get a little information…

<a girly scream of MOMYYYYYYYY!!!! is heard, and a cameraman runs out of the room! He is charred from head to toe! bbf2 emerges from the closet, holding a blowtorch!>

bbf2: ...next, please.

<a member of the ring crew crosses himself and goes into the closet...>

Mirko: I don’t know what’s going on here – but I have every able-bodied wrestler on the lookout for any suspicious...

<enter pizza delivery boy>

Frizzo: GET DOWN! <shoves Mirko to the floor and spears the pizza boy, and starts bludgeoning him with his rubber chicken!>

Mirko: <runs over and tries to pull Frizzo off> NO!!! Frizzo, wait! He’s legit, I ordered a pizza!

Frizzo: I know he is – this b*****d forgot my anchovies the last time we had a show at this arena! <continues beating the hapless pizza guy...>

<kryptonian boy starts look uncomfortable as a bloodcurdling scream comes from the room with bbf2 and the crew member, and the pizza boy starts to beg for mercy...>

Mirko: <to kb> Well, what are you looking at? Nothing to see here! Get out and let us do our job!

Kyle Katarn

02-08-2002, 09:47 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by bbf2:
I hope I don't get KOed within a minute again![/QB]<hr /></blockquote>Sorry about that...we all have to "job" sometimes! :D

Kyle Katarn

02-08-2002, 09:59 PM

<Dragula hits, and Kyle comes out to the ring, along with Liz and 80’s Girl!

Madness: Feh...can’t this guy stay with one entrance theme?

<Cue the Godfather’s music, and out comes Con-Air with pixi and Hobbit Girl, who is still on crutches. As they enter the ring, Kyle and his girls start to leave to make room for Con Air and his girls to dance. But Con-Air stops them and waves them back in – and they ALL start dancing!>

Madness: Awright! Looks like Pizza & Hookers is officially back in business!

TECH: That’s Pizza and ESCORTS now Madness! Con-Air has gone Legit!

Madness: LEGIT?!...aw, that’s no fun!

TECH: Hey – he could still be in the Right to Censor, you know! Remember that "GOODfather" bit?

Madness: Yeah, you’re right! I think I’ll take what I can get!

<The girls leave the ring and the match begins! Con-Air immediately whips Kyle in the corner and goes for the Ho Train! But Kyle dodges, and Con-Air gets a chest full of turnbuckle!>

<Kyle then goes for the spear, but Con-Air manages to sidestep that, and Kyle goes shoulder-first into the turnbuckle! Groggily, the 2 competitors lock up. Con-Air whips Kyle into the ropes, and pixi grabs his ankle to send Kyle into the mat, face first! Con-Air picks Kyle up, but the angry Kyle then takes off one of Con-Air’s gold chains and starts choking him while 80’s Girl distracts referee aeon-death by climbing to the ring and shaking her butt at him!>

< Not to be outdone, pixi pushes 80’s Girl off and shakes her butt at aeon while Con-Air tosses a handful of pixi dust in Kyle’s face!>

<Liz and Hobbit Girl come into the ring to join the fray – Hobbit Girl whacks Kyle on the head with her crutch while Liz gives Con-Air the dreaded WEDGIE! Meanwhile pixi and 80’s Girl are mixing it up outside! An exasperated aeon calls for the bell!>

TECH: Looks like this one is a draw from outside interference!

<Although everyone stopped fighting, aeon again calls for the bell, and picks up a mic...>

aeon-death: The fight between Con-Air and Kyle is a draw! However, let’s let the ladies settle THEIR differences in an impromptu CATFIGHT match!

Crowd: We want PUPPIES!!! We want PUPPIES!!!

TECH: Now THAT'S officiating!

<Kyle shrugs and helps Con-Air get his underwear off his head, then they go outside the ring and pull up some chairs to watch the show together! The girls are about to tear into each other when a familiar and dreaded siren is heard...>

Madness: Aw…crap!!! Not HIM!!!

<Enter Olorin, the last remaining member of the RIGHT TO CENSOR! He makes his way to the ring with a bullhorn, but Kyle and Con-Air rise to stop him. However, Olorin holds up a slip of paper...>

Olorin: HOLD IT!!! This is a restraining order against you two, and against your evil women as well! I’m here to make my mission clear!

<Kyle and Con-Air have no choice but to listen as Olorin gets out the bullhorn...>

Olorin: I am here to clean up the CS-WWF! First of all, all this antisocial behavior must STOP!

Kyle: We’re WRESTLERS!!! It’s what we DO!!! How could we put on a show if everyone got along?

Olorin: Silence!!! None of your narrow-minded excuses! Second, we must become good role models for all children. That means no choke holds, top-rope maneuvers, no closed-hand strikes, open hand strikes...

Pixi: Hey – does this count as an offensive maneuver? <flips Olorin off>

Olorin: Ha, I almost forgot! THIRD, we must censor any woman that does not provide a good influence for young girls everywhere...

TECH: Good grief! Madness, this is the biggest load of...Madness? Hey...where did he go?

Olorin: No more innuendo! No more of your scantily clad antics! It is women like you that are directly related to the shocking trend of girls reaching early puberty...

Con-Air: You say that restraining order is ONLY against me, Kyle, and our girls?

Olorin: I need to add RUDENESS to my list! Yes, if you must know....but why do you ask?

<Madness slips out of the crowd and sneaks up behind Olorin...Madness just stands there smiling...>

Con-Air: <smiles smugly> Oh, no special reason…

Olorin: <goes pale as he hears the "ka-thump...ka-thump....ka-thump" opening of Tazz’s theme> Now..*gulp* Gentlemen, violence is the crutch of the weak-minded brutes that know no other answAAAAAAAAACKKK!!!!! <The music kicks in, and Madness locks in the TAZZMISSON!!!>

TECH: WOW!!! Madness slipped into the crowd and snuck up behind Olorin, and he’s choking Olorin out with the Tazzmission!

<The crowd goes NUTS as Madness forces Olorin to the floor, and chokes him till he passes out! Con-Air, Kyle, and the girls get up in the ring and celebrate as Madness makes his way back to the announcers table!>

TECH: That was AWESOME! Hey...Wha...

<A man in a hooded sweatshirt and carrying a fire extinguisher comes out of the crowd and blasts everyone in the ring with the foam, dazing them all, and forcing them to the ground gasping for air! The crazed attacker picks up Kyle and stares at him with malice...then he pulls off his hood!>

TECH: Good Lord – It’s RATIONAL THINKER!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

Madness: Shut up, Tech! Don’t EVER mention the Big Guy while this loon is around! I can’t believe he would EVER join the Right to Censor though...

<RT savors the moment, then puts Kyle to the canvas with a vicious Scorpion Death Drop! RT starts running backstage, stopping along the way to kick Olorin in the head a few times!>

TECH: Ouch...obviously he isn’t with RTC? What could Rational be thinking...????

bbf2

02-08-2002, 10:26 PM

Well this time I burn people in a closet. I guess that's better.

Kyle Katarn

02-08-2002, 10:33 PM

Yeah - I promoted you to Mirko's number-one arm-breaker! :D

Colorado Cajun

02-09-2002, 12:48 PM

you do a great job Kyle you should join my mini efed the RCWA

Frizzo the Clown

02-09-2002, 01:05 PM

I got take part in one of my favorite pastimes.....bludgeoning the pizza boy with a rubber chicken! Classy!

Con-Air

02-09-2002, 07:39 PM

I have to be one of the cheating, dirty, horrible ho-daddy wrestlers that everybody hates?

THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!

Kyle Katarn

02-11-2002, 12:47 PM

*You KNOW I had to change this slightly to include the LOTR fiasco... :D

TECH: Hey...let’s cut to kryptonian boy – it seems he may have a lead on the invading evil posters!

<cut to kb backstage>

kb: That’s right! Frizzo may be on to something in this room right here! Let’s see if I can slip in to get a look at what’s going on...

<kb starts to open the door, but is clobbered with it when Iben M Mortensen rushes out of the room! We can see that it is actually the women’s bathroom. The most noticeable thing to be seen is a hole in the roof over one of the stalls...panning down, the cameraman sees a pair of large red shoes sticking up out of the stall!>

kb: <knocks on the stall> Frizzo! Is that you?

Frizzo: HELP!!! My head is stuck in the toilet!

<TECH quickly hits a button, and the PLEASE STAND BY, TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES message appears...>

Madness: Heheheheheehe...I told that dummy that the roof was too weak over the middle stalls... <stops when Tech gives him a stern look> Uhm...oh no! Look!

TECH: <checking monitor> Oh great! Wonderful! LOTR is coming out here! And...ah, shock, he’s got papers with him...

Madness: Don’t tell me...it’s another one of his "Why the CS-WWF should make me a backstage official" speeches! Man, I need some shock therapy right about now...

<The TitanTron is showing the video of LOTR en route to the ring, and the fans are booing already! But then the video shifts to bbf2 and JBond also making their way to the ring! bbf2 is in full Boss Man riot gear, and he is furiously twirling his nightstick as he and the bruised-but-ticked JBond start moving at a jog!>

TECH: Oh oh...something bad is about to go down...(!)

Madness: From the look on bbf2's face, I think the punk is about to do hard time!!!

Kyle Katarn

02-16-2002, 03:18 PM

<as LOTR comes out, bbf2 whacks him in the kidneys with his nightstick and drags him to the ring, where he holds him as JBond questions him!>

JBond: Right, you foul little git…You are the mole that’s letting these scum in aren’t you???

LOTR: But you guys trust me...

JBond: Well, nobody is perfect...<hits LOTR in the solar plexus with the brass knucks!>

Crowd: JBond! JBond! JBond!!!

LOTR: But why would I let those 3 guys in?! Uh, wait, I mean...

JBond: Three? THREE?! You traitor! <hits LOTR again with the knucks, then he and bbf2 drag him to the back>

Madness: YEAH! Go commish!

<In the back, bbf2 throws LOTR in a dumpster with wheels, and starts rolling him out. Outside, behind the arena is a hill leading down to a river...where bbf2 rolls the dumpster into!>

Crowd: bbf2! bbf2! bbf2!!!

bbf2

02-16-2002, 04:47 PM

Yes, this is much better than being KOed in the first minute!

Iben

02-16-2002, 04:59 PM

But I thought bff was LOTR! :confused: :D

bbf2

02-16-2002, 05:26 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Iben M. Mortensen:
But I thought bff was LOTR! :confused: :D <hr /></blockquote>I don't know who bff is. Maybe that guy IS LOTR. I dunno, I personally have never heard of him, although his name is somewhat similar to mine.

Iben

02-16-2002, 05:34 PM

Damn!

[ 02-16-2002, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: Iben M. Mortensen ]

Rogue

02-16-2002, 06:18 PM

This is crackin' me up..keep it coming! :D

Kyle Katarn

02-20-2002, 02:27 PM

<On the TitanTron, we see Mirko is laughing as he replays the action from the back on a monitor while he and JBond relax in his office>

Mirko: Ahh, now nothing can ruin the rest of the show...

<Frizzo runs in>

JBond: Don't you ever knock? And why do you look and smell like your head's been in a toilet?!

Frizzo: Never mind that...I have some bad news <leans in and whispers something to Mirko and Jibbs>

<Mirko and Bond are very pale as they soak this in...they slowly find their voices>

Mirko: Great scott!

JBond: ...bloody hell! Not HIM!!!

Frizzo: Shall I cancel the show?

Mirko: NO! Listen...he wouldn't expect LOTR to squeal...he has to regroup! Now is the perfect time to root him out before any more damage is done! Go rally the others!

Frizzo: Yes sir! <runs out, TitanTron fades>

JBond: You really think that breaking LOTR was a setback for...

Mirko: Of course not, he knew LOTR was the weak link! You see....<smiles wickedly> live bait is the best kind. He won't be found until he makes his move...that's when we can CRUSH him once and for all! That's why the show must continue - to lure HIM out!

<back at ringside>

Madness: What was THAT?!

TECH: I dunno, but now maybe we can get back to the show!

<"Rollin'" hits, and TyRoss comes out to the ring on his Harley. He enters the ring>

TyRoss: I got somethin' to say! All you punks need to learn some RESPECT!

Crowd: ???

TyRoss: I bust my @$$ for you, and you don't appreciate me!

Madness: What's he talkin' about? Everyone respects Ty!

TECH: Just not enough for him, I guess?

Ty: Just like all the guys that are coming out and attacking the CS wrestlers...they don't get respect, and now you see what happens when you don't respect someone!

Madness: He's taking up for goodgoneworse, Rational Thinker, and LOTR???

Crowd: Booooo....

Ty: WHAT?! I'm gonna come out there and beat some respect into ALL of you $#%^#$*!!! <starts to leave the ring>

<just then, "One of a Kind" hits, and a man comes out. He puts his back to the ring and does the double thumb jack, with the crowd chanting the man's name in time with his motions: rOb...Van...Dam!>

[ 02-20-2002, 02:30 PM: Message edited by: Kyle Katarn ]

Kyle Katarn

03-05-2002, 09:45 AM

<rOb enters the ring and warily circles TyRoss. The 2 lock up, but suddenly...>

"It's me, it's me, it's B.M.B!"

<beemanbone comes down to the ring, with a huge grin, and stands between rOb and Ty>

beemanbone: It's me! BMB! I like me, you like me, and I'm gonna help you like....you!

Ty: <grabs beeman by the throat> You mean you think you can make me like this punk, rOb Van Dam?

beemanbone: <still grinning but nervously> Well...even the worlds only self help guru/pro wrestler can't do everything. I'm talking about making you and rOb like yourselves! See, TyRoss...you are one of the most respected wrestlers here. But you seem to have an inferiority complex or something, the way you try to beat respect out of people!

<Ty ****s his fist back, then looks at rOb, who is snickering. Ty lets beemanbone go and grabs rOb.>

beemanbone: And rOb! You may think you like yourself....but only an IDIOT would go jumping off the tope rope in every match if he really liked himself! That's dangerous!

<Ty and rOb have heard enough. They link hands and give BMB a double clothesline! Then Ty straddles beeman and starts punching him. He dosen't notice that rOb has climbed the top rope...>

<As the crowd chants "RVD" rOb lands a perfect 5-star frog splash on Ty and bee, knocking them both out! rOb heads to the back, and Ty and bee limp out also...>

Madness: Well, it's time for the main event!

Tech: Yeah...and 87 ain't gonna be happy....

<Glass shatters and Stone Cold's music blasts through the speakers as Agent 87 comes out to the ring! He climbs in and grabs a microphone...>

Agent 87: Well, I’m here to tell a little story...

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: It’s sorta like the story of old man MacDonald...

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: You know...he had a farm...EIEIO, and all that crap...

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: And on that farm, he had a fish!

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: And the fish said, "I don’t wanna put my title on the line against Agent 87! He’ll hurt me and take away my pretty title belts! Boo hoo hoo!"

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: That’s exactly what another animal said – the jackass! He said, WHAT?! So the fish says, "pretty please don’t make this a title shot!" So you know what the jackass says?

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: No, he heard the second time and he says, "Ok." But you know what? There’s another animal running around that farm!

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: That hillbilly hole!

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: That backwoods slum!

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: That animal is the weasel! But we call em’ lawyers mostly! See, this weasel works for the jackass, but he don’t hold his beer too well...

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: Yep, I got that sumb***h 3 sheets to the wind, then I got him to put a clause in slinger’s contract that says silnger – that’s the fish in case ya don’t know – MUST defend his title tonight, or I get it by forfeit!

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: I said, slinger gives up the belt, and I get it!

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: I said slinger can either get his @$$ whipped and lose the title to me, or I can take it by forfeit whether the JBond – oops I mean JACKASS – likes it or not! And that’s the bottom line...

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87 : I SAID – that’s the bottom line 'cause Agent 87 SAID SO!!! Now slinger – get your piece of trash @$$ out here NOW!!!

slinger

03-05-2002, 03:25 PM

Well I hope Mr.Mainevent wins.....

beemanbone

03-05-2002, 06:09 PM

87 is gonna put a beat down on slinger!

slinger

03-05-2002, 09:19 PM

Notta chance.

Rogue

03-05-2002, 10:23 PM

Good job Kyle! It's hilarious..keep it coming! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Malice

03-07-2002, 01:06 PM

I wanna see TECH return from retirement to beat the everliving crap outa someone!

WOOO WOOO

Kyle Katarn

03-09-2002, 08:35 AM

Well Tech, there's always the sequel! Now, for our thrilling conclusion!

<There is a massive explosion at the entranceway, and slinger makes his way out with his title belts. He is making c0cky poses with them at the top of the ramp, but he looks nervous as he comes down. Then he stops for a minute - then smiles and runs to the ring with a belt in each hand and clobbers 87, knocking him out of the ring!>

Madness: That was the shortest title defense ever! Slinger loses by DQ - but the title can't change hands in a DQ!

TECH: Wait.....the ref isn't calling for the bell!

<slinger is leaving the ring when 87 recovers and grabs a mic>

Agent 87: UH-UH!!!! See, this is a no-DQ match!

Crowd: WHAT???

Agent 87: No DQ, no countout, hardcore rules! So get back in that ring or go to the back, either way I get that title!

<slinger drops the belts and rushes the ring, suprising 87! He knocks him into the corner, getting in some hard chops to 87's chest, with the crowd shouting WOOOOOOOOO! as each one connects!>

<then 87 rakes slinger's eyes and grabs him by the legs. He slingshots slinger into the turnbuckle, busting him open! 87 picks slinger up and whips him into the ropes. slinger fights back with a flying elbow, then locks in the Walls of Jericho........>

<....but 87 uses all his strength to reach the ropes. Slinger must be pulled off by the ref before he breaks the hold, though! While he argues with the ref, 87 lands a low blow! With slinger on the mat in agony, 87 connects with the Austin elbow drop - then puts slinger in the Figure-4 leglock! After a few moments, slinger counters, locking 87's legs, and sitting up to taunt him! But then 87 lands a savage sucker punch on slinger, allowing him to escape slinger's hold! At this point, both men are exhausted. slinger weakly kicks at 87, who grabs his leg, flips him off, and spins him around! 87 tries the Stunner, but slinger pushes him toward the ropes, and launches off the ropes behind him! They collide with great force in the center of the ring!

TECH: Double clothesline!!!! It's anyone's game now!

<Agent 87 slowly gets up, and starts crawling on his knees to the prone form of slinger.>

<Suddenly, SIG comes out of the crowd with a steel chair!>

TECH: Holy &^*@!!

Madness: What you said! That's one face I thought we would NEVER see at CS again!!!!

<SIG busts open Agent 87 with a shot to the back of the head! No DQ rules or not, the ref starts to call for the bell, but slinger gives him the Breakdown!>

TECH: NO!!! You mean slinger was behind this?!

Slinger smiles at SIG and turns around to pin 87...but then SIG clobbers slinger!!!

Madness: Take that as a no, Tech....what the heck is going on?!

SIG starts walking up to the entranceway to meet Rational Thinker, goodgoneworse, and LOTR!!!>

Madness: This is bad...hey look! It’s a bird!

TECH: It’s a plane! It’s...

Madness: No, really Tech...it’s a bird! <points to a woman up in the stands> Isn’t that your ex-girlfriend flipping you off?

<Tech and Madness see the very drunken young woman making obscene gestures at the announcers. Once she sees that se has their attention, she starts mooning them! While they are distracted by this, SUPERMAN, in his black costume with long hair, flies down and stands before the group or renegade posters!>

Madness: Man, I could go for a piece of that...Whoa!!! Big Blue is back in town! Go get em’ SuperSuds!

<Superman looks intently at the invaders...then gives SIG a high-5!!!>

Crowd: ??? Booooooooooo.....

Superman: So where have I been you all ask? Simple – I have been scouring the dregs of CS to find the hungriest, meanest and most ticked off posters I could find! I'm earth's mightiest hero, and I'M TAKING OVER!

TECH: What's come over him?! ....I know it dosen't have anything to do with that Red Kryptonite I gave you to take to STAR labs...does it Madness???? <looks angrily at Madness>

Madness: Awwww....you know the only thing more fun than throwing a projectile through someone's window? Throwing a glowing red projectile! I hust wanted to let Superman know we still love him...!

TECH: Well, he don't seem to love us anymore! Looks like the invasion has begun.......!

To Be Continued!!!!!

[ 03-09-2002, 08:40 AM: Message edited by: Kyle Katarn ]

slinger

03-09-2002, 10:37 AM

I had it won.

Kyle, have you seen the screenshots for WrestleMania X-8 on Gamecube? Incredible. Plus its the first game to have RVD, Booker T, Hurricane etc. Undertaker has his new short hair look so maybe even Flair will be in the game.

[ 03-09-2002, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: slinger ]

Rogue

03-09-2002, 12:11 PM

This is great Kyle!! :D

pattypimpdaddy2

03-09-2002, 01:28 PM

you guys are lookin at the peoples champion over here. nWo 4 -life brother

Kyle Katarn

03-13-2002, 09:56 PM

Ah...COMPLETE (I hope!) Credits in random order!

Rogue: Molly Holly

slinger: Chris Jericho

Agent 87: Stone Cold Steve Austin

Col. Cajun: Hurricane

Mirko: Vince McMahon

JBond: William Regal

TECH: Michael Cole

Madness: Tazz

Con-Air: Godfather

Pixi and Hobbit: Godfather's "ladies"

bbf2: Big Boss Man

kryptonian boy: The Coach

Olorin: Steven Richards

TyRoss: Undertaker

Beemanbone: Diamond Dallas Page

rOb: Rob Van Dam

Kyle Katarn, Moe, Frizzo, Iben, 80's Girl, Liz, LOTR, RationalThinker, SIG, goodgoneworse, Superman: Themselves

Thanks for the support, I'll start work on a sequel....uh sometime. And for those that haven't acknowledged their roles in my epic - to quote Vince McMahon: "Screw you, you're FIRED!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> :D :p

[ 04-11-2002, 09:51 AM: Message edited by: Kyle Katarn ]

Colorado Cajun

03-13-2002, 10:13 PM

Wonderful job Kyle. Far better than the WWF has been lately

Elizabeth

03-14-2002, 12:15 AM

Hey, I acknowleged my role!

slinger

03-14-2002, 03:33 PM

I can't wait for Vince to say that again. Foley, Paul - just great stuff.

Tardumb

04-02-2002, 06:34 PM

hmmm...so when's the sequel

Kyle Katarn

04-10-2002, 11:53 AM

Ehh. Someday.......

Rogue

04-10-2002, 01:21 PM

I wasn't in this one.. :( Break my heart Kyle!!

Psylent

04-10-2002, 03:19 PM

I think Kyle is putting you in the sequal...

Colorado Cajun

04-10-2002, 05:40 PM

Rogue

04-10-2002, 05:45 PM

But I wasn't in the credits! :p

Colorado Cajun

04-10-2002, 05:58 PM

Nope Kyle forgot you lol

Kyle Katarn

04-11-2002, 09:50 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Rogue:
I wasn't in this one.. :( Break my heart Kyle!!<hr /></blockquote>D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o :o :o

Sorry bout that.....just don't do to me what your character Molly did to Trish last week! (i.e., break a paddle over my head!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

Rogue

04-13-2002, 03:07 PM

<sniffle> And I thought I was important! :p

Kyle Katarn

07-26-2004, 07:28 PM

Third fanfic...